Ms. Lori profile picture

Ms. Lori

Was that really necessary?

About Me


I am worshiped in the Czech Republic.
Sometimes, when it seems I can’t feel any lower, as if the world is mocking me, me in my platform clown shoes and big fat pants, as if the universe has pulled out its starry phallus and taken a galactic piss upon my head, as if the squirrels that titter amongst themselves in my backyard trees are tittering at me, laughing at me as they crunch their nuts and shake their tails in my direction, dismissing my very existence, and the leaves of those trees are whispering insults as I sit on my patio -- me with my platform clown shoes and big fat pants -- something humorous, something warm will pop from the shadows and startle me out of my self-loathing, a fluffy ball of hope, maybe, that floats like a dandelion seed and settles gently on my soul, one that takes root and spreads, eventually covering me in weedy wishes, or a sweaty fist of ham come crashing down, knocking some sense into my stoney skull, and I will smile; yay, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy dandelion seed and thy sweaty fist of ham, they comfort me, and I shall smile.
I'm a woman on the edge, man.
All right, perhaps not so much on the edge, but I‘m damn well near it.
So, anyway, hey, pleased to meet you! I‘m Lori (that’s Lori with an “L“), but I’m also known as Ms. Lori, Mom, Mommy, Ma, Poopy-Head, and Stupid Dopey-Face. Occasionally, when I’m lucky, I’m also known as L. Lynn Young.
I’ve published a variety of short stories, poems and essays in some lovely places during my woefully intermittent times as L. Lynn Young, places including Borderlands 5, edited by Tom and Elizabeth Monteleone (mass market paperback from Warner Books is titledFrom the Borderlands ) as well as Best of Borderlands , edited by Elizabeth Monteleone, and most recently, Brutarian Quarterly.
My short story "Womb Full of Poppies" was nominated for inclusion in Best American Short Stories, and "Annabell" (SS) received honorable mention in Year's Best Fantasy and Horror.
(Aw, I can hear your thoughts regarding the BASS nomination -- NO, I do NOT list this in cover letters, nor do I list the following "achievement": My novella, “The Man Who Ate Too Much Backfat,” won the Billy Bob Thornton Prize for Excellence in Literature in 2002. So there. Jealous?)
Oh, and I taste words -- a phenomenon known as lexical-gustatory synesthesia. When I was a child, I thought everyone tasted words. I experienced a rude awakening at age ten, however, when I casually mentioned to a friend that her name tasted like a cold meatloaf sandwich, and she told me I was weird.
This layout found at Dave's Myspace Layouts & Themes

My Interests

Writing/reading horror and literary fiction, working out, eating terrible things, watching abysmal movies while drinking cheap beer and making fun of the dialogue, male buttocks, funny people, my own ego...

Speaking of ego, I can also be found at One Whipped Mother

I'd like to meet:

Stephen King, John Irving, Joyce Carol Oates, Toni Morrison, Conan O'Brien, Margaret Atwood, Christopher Walken, David Bowie, Stephen Colbert, Rob Zombie, Bea Arthur, William Shatner, Oprah, Madonna, Cher, Prince -- anyone who goes by one name, really -- Bill Clinton, Weird Al Yankovic, M. Night Shyamalan, Jack Black, Dr. Tony Attwood, everyone on my friend list...

Myspace Contact Tables
My Current Favorite Image:

Music:

Punk, classical (Yo-Yo Ma is a sexy beast), blues (saw Bo Diddley perform in a tiny club back in the late eighties, and wow. Just...Wow), Southern rock, Johnny Cash, Pink Floyd, Otep, Disturbed, System of a Down, Prince, Fleetwood Mac, Patsy Cline, Rob Zombie, Jimi Hendrix, Metallica, Neil Young, Nine Inch Nails, David Bowie, Tenacious D, Cornershop, Fiona Apple, Motown, 60's and 70's rock & pop, anything that makes me want to put down my beer and dance

Movies:

Donnie Darko, The Sweet Hereafter, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, The Professional, Europa Europa, The Deer Hunter, Cinema Paradiso, The Story of the Weeping Camel, Life is Beautiful, The Full Monty, Fargo, Bubba Ho-Tep, The Gingerdead Man, A Nightmare On Elm Street, Sideways, The Rose Tattoo, Rosemary's Baby, Muriel's Wedding, anything by M. Night Shyamalan (shut up, haters), Shaun of the Dead, The Ring, Audition, The Eye

Television:

Documentaries
Lost
CNN
Weeds
The Daily Show
The Colbert Report
Ghost Hunters
Saturday Night Live
History Channel International
National Geographic Channel

Books:

Biographies, autobiographies, weird/paranormal/cryptozoology,"The God of Small Things" by Arundhati Roy, "White Oleander" by Janet Fitch, anything by T.M. Wright, Joyce Carol Oates, John Irving, Stephen King, Toni Morrison, Margaret Atwood, John Shirley, Ramsey Campbell, Tom Piccirilli, Gary Braunbeck, Peter Straub, Mr. Poe, David Sedaris, Al Franken, Harlan Ellison

"The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery always makes me cry, as does "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams...

Heroes:

My best friend, Nici (W. Olivia Race, a.k.a. Ms. Olivia)
April 13, 1965 - October 28, 2007
I love you, dolly.

And my mom, Suzanne Marie, who lost her battle against acute myeloid leukemia on April 28, 2008.

My Blog

5:00 a.m., April 28,2008

For my mother, Suzanne Marie. The suffering has ended....
Posted by Ms. Lori on Wed, 30 Apr 2008 04:29:00 PST

It’s Bad...

My mother has been going downhill -- rapidly -- since she began receiving "comfort" care a little under a month ago.  It has been unbelievably hard for me to see her this way.  Most days, I ...
Posted by Ms. Lori on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 12:55:00 PST

Chemtrails Are Pretty!

These pictures were taken in my backyard at approximately 10:30 a.m. Thursday morning.These criss-crosses, which were observed by me, my kids, and my brother, were also seen in the skies while driving...
Posted by Ms. Lori on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 11:32:00 PST

I Now Know Who My Favorite Candidate Is

Eh, I've been posting little content and many videos lately, but due to my visiting Mom at the hospital almost every day -- lengthy visits at that -- I haven't the time to think and write clearly enou...
Posted by Ms. Lori on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 08:47:00 PST

My Girlhood Crushes

I totally wanted to marry Peter Frampton, Jackson Browne, Spock, and... (Apologies for the Nipple Dude...Yes, he's sickening, but what can you do?  It was the seventies, after all...)Wat...
Posted by Ms. Lori on Sun, 13 Apr 2008 06:57:00 PST

Dont Bother With This...

If you don't have an intelligence quotient above that of a chimpanzee's.Been concerned about certain...Things. Been worried, a tad afraid...Been that way for some years now.I've avoided posting about...
Posted by Ms. Lori on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 10:51:00 PST

The Woman Who Fell to Earth

I have, in the recent past, written about my Asperger’s syndrome here, but have since deleted much of it.  I’ve an unfortunate compulsion to delete things I write, be it on here, mess...
Posted by Ms. Lori on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 02:21:00 PST

The Perfect Word

I accompanied my mother to her doctor’s appointment today -- THE appointment.  The appointment that we were dreading, even though we knew what was to come of it.As the oncologist flashed he...
Posted by Ms. Lori on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 08:39:00 PST

A Cozy Guy

My oldest daughter’s boyfriend, Adam, is 6’5", weighs approximately 220 pounds, plays bass for an up and coming local hardcore band, and has many, many, many, many (many) tattoos, but that...
Posted by Ms. Lori on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:59:00 PST

Jules

I can’t stop watching this.I am so fascinated, it’s bordering on weird.  I’m all teary-eyed, and my chest feels funny.I think I found my one and only true "soul" mate....
Posted by Ms. Lori on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 07:26:00 PST