Robot profile picture

Robot

Do not ask me if I do parties

About Me

KNIGHTS OF CYDONIA VIDEO:

Add This Banner To Your Page & Let Us Know About It

I am a professional robot. Let me be clear on this: I am not an alien. There is a movie director from the 20th and 21st centuries named Steven Spielberg who has made it hard for people to tell the difference. First, he made a movie called ET about an alien. Then, some other human made a movie called Short Circuit about a robot that looked exactly like the alien in ET. Then, Spielberg made a movie called AI where the advanced robots at the end looked exactly like the aliens from some other movie he made. Very frustrating.I was activated during the Great Martian Robot Attack of ’46. My skin is metal. It will burn your hand if you touch me in the desert sun.Please do not ask me if I do parties (how rude.) I will slap your children if they approach me with magnets.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

There are a limited supply of famous robots in history. I don’t look to celebrities often anyway. All I want is a fun loving android with a flashing red light. Pointy metal boobs, although impractical, are still a turn on. The ability to disconnect your limbs is a plus. I would also like a robot pet for lonely nights. I detect nothing wrong with that—we’re all mechanical.Human friends are ok too. My only request is that they not pronounce my kind “ro-butt,” which happens often with the hicks in Cydonia.

Music:

20th century antiquated electronic devices. I am aroused by cell phones ringing. Car doors locking turn me on. Toasters popping, so long as they have no toast in them. Bread products are revolting.

Movies:

Robots, Heartbeeps, AI, Short Circuit 2, D.A.R.Y.L.

Television:

I often project holograms of myself until my palms rust. I am so lonely.

Books:

I, Robot by Isaac Asimov (a wonderful autobiography of a possible ancestor), How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion by Daniel Wilson; Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Heroes:

C3PO, Artoo Detoo, HAL 9000, Irom Man, Cylons, Cybermen, Data, Sony AIBO, Oprah Winfrey