Jamie

My Personality
Neuroticism 75
Extraversion 76
Openness To Experience 81
Agreeableness 68
Conscientiousness 96
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My personality profile in a nutshell: You are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time. You can be very easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be extremely sensitive and emotional. Novelty, variety, and change spice up your life and make you a curious, imaginative, and creative person. You have a strong interest in others' needs and well-being. You are pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working. by Pulseware Survey Software
adopt your own virtual pet!This page has some of my philosophical views, but not all. And I am not above others. Much of what I've written is to remind myself of what's wonderful in life. I know I need to be reminded sometimes to sit quietly and chill. I do often though, and I'm so grateful for what my body does for me, to enjoy life and be here with you fine peeps.People say they are young at heart, and it has become quite cliche. Regardless of this and despite how much I didn't want to use that, it is true for me as well. I am young (still), and young at heart. I remind myself of a child sometimes...love to play, sometimes naive, get my feelings hurt, want to have fun, love birthday parties, bubbles, love to dance, pout, cry when hurt, shy around people, and hate to take baths. I am Peter Pan. Blame this on me being a Gemini, the eternal child. It is not easy being a Gemini, actually. But don't let this scowl at Geminis. I am very responsible. I take my responsibilities very seriously and it's very important to me for people to be able to trust and depend on me. Now that could be because of my immense Virgo influences throughout my astro chart. It grounds me. I also have some Taurus...which makes me very strong willed. Hell, the Gemini is what keeps me light after all that heavy earth keeping my heels to the ground. *smile*I am an artistic chick, with a wide variety of interests, as variety is the spice of life...or is it Oregano? I am a jack-of-all-trades, master of none. But I can add some info on just about everything! Note: If you come to me and tell me how sick you are, or sad, or about your problems, be warned that I will give you advice. I am not one to sit by idly and say nothing. I will, though, be a soundboard, if you need me to be. Tell me and I can do that for you. *smile*I am very elemental and love trees, being by just about any body of water, the ocean being a favorite. Though after learning about global warming, I am somewhat apprehensive now, damnit. I love gem stones (Ooo, shiny things!!), clouds, intense storms, and most everything about nature except having to live IN it and the bugs that come with it.I am a Reiki master, and working on my Shaman training. It is a slow process. I am also a professional psychic, though I am out of practice. Keep in mind that just because someone is a Reiki master, such as myself, does not mean they have life mastered or no longer get pissed or hurt. No, we still get angry. Still get hurt. Still have the capacity to pout. Ha...but, we see a higher purpose to all of this and this is where we live....in that spirituality. I believe that Christians and many others are way too concerned with, how, what they do will send them to hell, when instead, they should be more concerned with why they shouldn't hurt others, or do bad things. That is the difference between religion and spirituality.I am quite sensitive, and have to watch for psychic vamps that I seem to run into quite often. They seem to drain the energy out of me. You know the type...the ones that talk and talk and talk, or are negative all the time and when they walk away or are finished with you as a captive audience, they feel great and you feel like shit. Steer clear of those. Keep in mind, that I do not suffer fools gladly and won't stick around to chat if you are one of those. I take care to not do it to others. Now, I am a Gemini, so when I am talking to someone with intelligence and wit, I get excited about the conversation and want to chat. But I do tend to wear myself out, so don't be offended if I have to go. *laughing*I love animals and causes, and am quite stubborn when there is a cause to fight for that I believe in. This is for people, animals or rights being put upon.CLICK HERE TO PETITION TO SAVE THE BABY SEALS FROM HUNTERS!http://www.hsus.org/protect_seals.htmlOne of my loves is photography. I have been into it since about age 12, when I started out with a 110. Who remembers those? That progressed to a 35mm a few years later and now I am at digital of course. I am ALWAYS taking pictures, several in my album. I am my own most patient subject for experimentation, so you will see most of them are me. I noticed the other day that I have about 5 and a 1/2 gigs of pictures. Of course that is not including all I have yet to scan.So you must forgive the brief corner I've given him. I was able to see Depeche Mode in both 2001 and 2005. I was delirious with want. The voice...commanding presence...the haunting and deep, tortured lyrics. *sigh*And while I am speaking on this, I must also include my adoration and love for Mr. Johnny Depp. I have loved him from afar for so many years now. It's actually painful to look at him. I know how that sounds. Being a fellow Gemini of the second decant, I know that we are very much alike.Orlando Bloom is a very close second. Ever notice the way he is so melancholy and the looks he gives women he wants? Oh the hunger...I'm a sensual person, so I respond to the same, recognizing it others. Odd, how, at the same time, I can tire of the slow, seductive dance, and crave to carpe noctum. *sly smile* Crudeness and vulgarity has no place with me. One who can dance on that delicate line and master the art of witty verbal intercourse, is the one that catches my eye...mind...heart. I adore intelligence. But more importantly, witty intelligence. Sure, anyone can rattle off cold facts, but adding heart and genuine sincerity to the mix, and you have charisma so enticing, the gravitational pull of that person is impossible to escape. *smile* Ah, but how often does this person come along? Especially one that is sensitive and respectful of others' hearts? I tell you, my friends, not often.I'm a mixture of Marilyn Manson and Marilyn Monroe. Add a splash of Princess Leia, and big pinch of Scarlett O'Hara, and you have me. *smile* Well, fiddle dee dee, I do declare!I love the lil guy at the end of Buffy. I call him, "Grrr, arg". I wait and watch for him every day. "Grrr, arg!". It's like he is grumpy. I've seen him called the Mutant at the end of Buffy, but I prefer my name for him, as, "Grrr, arg".I am very spiritual. I don't believe in the typical, organized religion. I would say that I follow the beat of several drums, the finer qualities of all religions, in addition to my own beliefs and experiences. My beliefs would closely relate to Buddhism, and/or Hinduism, if I were to choose. Also Native American Indian, for my more earthy ties. As I said, I am open to reviewing other sides and will incorporate them into my mental filing system, if I find it is logical to me, or calls to my heart. I am an ordained minister as well. I signed up ... *smile*....I always thought it would be funny to marry drunks at the bar.I also spend time at a site called Vampire Rave, at simply www.vampirerave.com. It is quite an interesting site, with quite a few interesting and artistic, people, that have become my friends. Luckily many of them are here too. I have a huge collection of pictures there, in my portfolio.http://www.vampirerave.com/portfolio2.php?portfoli o=JamieCreator of Rave, Cancer, has given us a generous space for our artistic endeavors! I am glad for that, because I am always creating different pictures.I am nuttier than squirrel poop.I saw the movie, "What the ... do we know?!". It is wonderful and if you haven't seen it, you should. It is quite deep and it is what I think about all the time and have for years. Much of what they say is what I have thought on, or tried to explain, but couldn't due to lack of words, not being able to articulate exactly what I meant. It's a beautiful thing, this movie and us all, really. This life. This world. These concepts. It's simple, yet complex. I am always wondering about why we are here, who am I and what am I to become?Lately, I've been exploring the God thing more. What I believe is that nobody knows for sure of anything. I have always been torn about the existance of God, but would always be cornered here in the Midwest about it, and having religion pushed on me, and I was so angry about it. I don't want anyone telling me what to believe in or do (or not to do)!Besides, the people trying to push religion or God are not spiritualists, and I am. They lost the spirituality of their religion a long time ago, or never had it to begin with. And while I have always pondered the "whys" and "how comes", I am amazed at how I am able to find new slants to ponder even deeper. It is all meant to be. We have to be the change we wish to see in this world. So, meanwhile, while all of that is going on, I am just making it minute by minute in this life. I have been reading about Scientology. I know what you are thinking. But, when I started reading about it, I learned that it was basically self help and quite spiritual, talking about our souls (Theta, I am assuming that is what they mean, when they refer to Theta). So I am currently reading more about that. What I don't like is the having to pay for it. That is ridiculous. "Um, I sure would like to be part of your religion, but I can't get a loan!". Wtf? On the other hand, I see people like John Travolta and Kelly Preston and yes, even insane Tom C. and think, "Wow, you know, they are really happy looking. Give me some of that.".I have found, that a lot of what I know, comes from a simple inner knowing. I believe that I subconsciously receive this information via other realms, channeled information, or basically, that I am operating on a completely different level than most. It's hard to explain, and hard for some to understand. I think that much of our information that seems to just "come to us", is from the other side, being from our guides that are with us for our entire life. Some call them angels, some call them guides. Whatever you call them, I believe they are there, always.This is how I believe some of life and pre-life, works. I feel that before we are born, we have a sort of contract with other souls, where we have certain lessons to learn with and from each other. Our life is mapped out and we choose the parents we are to go to. You may ask, "Ugh, why would I choose such parents? They are assholes!". This may be true, but, as with any assholes you may encounter in this world, you should realize, that they are who they are, in this life, so that you may become who you are to be, and learn what you are here to learn from them. They are helping you to progress and to ascend to a higher state of being. And you are learning, whether you are aware of it or not. This is a beautiful thing, actually, seeing it in progress. It can hurt, to be around people like this, but at the same time, you have to appreciate the Universe at work and how it does know what it is doing. I love watching synchronicity at work! *smile*...and it does. So, if you can rise above the earthly situation you are in, for a minute, and see how none of this is personal, but more souls intertwining and fulfilling their karmic responsibility to each other, you can see how we each are all connected and the beauty of life.So along the lines of that, it is apparent, that we have lessons to learn. Some are more obvious than others. I do know, that if you do not learn the lesson, it will present itself again, and again to you, until you face it, acknowledge, and overcome it....and move on to the next lesson. For instance, I do know that Librans have a lesson in this life to stand up for themselves. This is a most hard thing to do, for they are basically peace loving creatures and don't want to rock the boat. They need to realize that they will need to rock that boat, and stand up for themselves and they will gain respect of others and of themselves. It is why they were born a Libra, actually. It is a lesson for their soul to learn, and even harder as a Libra. There are several signs that I am aware of their lessons. Some, not quite so sure. Basically, what their negative traits can be. Leo, for example, must let go of wanting all attention all the time, or creating drama, and handling things differently. We are all works in progress. And that is my thoughts on that, for now. *laughing* This is spirituality. At our core, we are Love. We don't fear. We don't hate. We don't regret. We embrace and we love. And at the end of it all, we return to ourselves, just as the song says, the return to innocence. And as Talk Talk said, "Life's what you make it".I sing all the time. In fact, there is a very good chance, I am listening to music, and singing, dancing (not on a pole), while chatting with you. So give me a moment to finish this lil twirl.I'm addicted to Icees. Yes, they are worse than heroin to escape. I'm a health nut....not that I can actually live up to that, but I can tell you a plethora of health facts! *smile* Go ahead, ask me. I've been known to give you information without being asked.I loathe hunters....don't get me started. I was a vegetarian for awhile, but I have blood sugar issues, and so I eat chicken, tuna, turkey and as little other meat as possible. I still feel bad about it, and thank them silently for their sacrifice. I have been known to cry when I see cattle trucks. I also have a hard time watching cows in fields playing, nurturing, interacting with each other. I want to go save them. "Run! Go!! Don't eat that grass!".I try real hard to keep in mind, that everything wants to live. Think about it.....everything. That's hard to remember when a big wood roach flies in the house. Or a big spider runs at me. Yea, I said AT me!! I'm pretty quick with the Raid. Someone told me once, "Hey, they are in MY house. They have all that space out there to be.". I thought, you know, I dig that. I still feel remorseful that it has to end that way. They don't know they are in "the danger zone". I could hang tiny roach carcasses on the fence. I've had many pets, from rabbits to even a hedgehog! That hedgehog was not very cuddle worthy and he wasn't friendly. Oh, I tried to make friends, but he was too twitchy. *laughing* He would make a weird hissing noise; like a pressure cooker. Remember those at Grandmas?I've tried the indoor pet cat gig. I knew a woman that sold top of the line, Persian cats. They are beautiful, if their faces aren't smashed in. She won't breed them that way. She says that it is cruel to the animal, because they have a host of breathing problems. She sold us several pure bred Persians, but for some reason, every cat that was an indoor pet here, would die a strange death, or contract some odd illness, resulting in me having to put them to sleep. That was very hard for me to do. On the other hand, we have had tons of strays that seems to gravitate to this house, and have fed them for years, and they won't pass over or leave. *sigh* We were down to 2, but another showed up, WITH KITTENS. Ugh.One of the pure bred kittens, named Sirus, developed the equivalant of HIV for cats. I loved him very much. Sirus was adorable and was very sweet. He had big eyes, with long fur, colored in various shades of brown, with patches of white. Despite the fact that Sirus was so young, I had to take him to the vet and put him down. I spent several moments alone with him, petting, apologizing for what I had to do. Sirus was not afraid, but played with me, still giving me love. The vet came in and I held Sirus as he was given the shot, and took his last breath. Life left his eyes and he was gone. In a mere few seconds, I lost my friend. I know his soul understood.Socrates was another. He was a very smart and sophisticated Himalayan cat. Sadie was a black Persian with gold eyes. They all died. Sadie, sadly was a bitch. *laughs* I would pick her up and pet her, as she growled fiercely and I would say in my usual smartass way, "Aw, she is purring...". That is the way of my people.What I've always thought odd, was that a woman that died in this house, D's grandmother, hated animals. I've seen her float by in the hallway in her white night gown, as a matter of fact.Now hamsters! I love hamsters. They are my passion and always have been. So cute. I put little hats on them and take pictures, as you may have noticed. My current hamster, is Tibbs the 4th. She is a Dwarf Chinese Hamster. I just seem to be drawn to small, if not tiny, animals. I relate to them. Not that I am tiny necessarily, physically, just their vulnerability, I suppose.Mice and small animals have always been a passion of mine. I adore them and seek them out to take care of them. That is a reason I love Beatrix Potter books. I have several of them. I love the way she draws mice and rabbits.I have also had many dogs, but they always seem to have their way with the carpet and this Queen of the house, cannot have that. Still, I must tell you, that it broke my heart to give Bijou away, the Maltese. I'm still upset about her. We feed tons of stray cats, and every spring, I have to hand feed and bottle feed new kittens, if they can be gathered up. Since they are strays and wild, this can be quite an ordeal. I'm the one you see in the old Wal-Mart parking lot, with the big sign, "FREE KITTENS", *laughing*, every spring! This year, relocation is necessary. I've had about 40 rabbits as pets.I am married. Yes, I am with someone I adore and have been him for 15 years. We are best friends and do most everything together. But you will not hear me speak of this often, because, it is important to me, to keep my own sense of individuality. I belong to no one. I don't want my relationship status to color my conversations, or feel that conversations have to be censored. And my status has no bearing on the person I am as an individual. So, if you ask, I will explain this. Otherwise, I will rarely speak of this area of my outer world.I have begun to wonder if men, in particular, feel threatened by my way of thinking. If not feeling threatened, then looking down on me, or thinking lowly of me. That is their problem. I am my own person, a free thinker and it is my right as an individual human being to be such, and do as I wish. A woman in such a position would understand, and any man, including Danny, with an open mind, not guided by his ego. I mean, that's what it boils down to isn't it; pure caveman ego to be the only one to make your partner laugh? Swoon? I admit, women do it too. We certainly are not above becoming jealous and possessive. I am not proclaiming this! But, admit it, we women put up with a lot of men's caveman shit and somehow still summon a smile. Why is that? Well, there are many women that just simply rock. Not all. I've been screwed over by them my whole life. I'm speaking of mature, honest, down to earth and ballsy women, not willing to be torn down, or kept down, simply because of the roles society has reserved for us, generally.I must impart to you, though, that this isn't simply about women's rights. I am for the rights of everybody. I am an advocate for everyone, especially the underdog. I do not, however, give undue support to those that are manipulative, and dishonest, and completely unwilling to help themselves or the world around them to be a better place. Of course, I've been depressed, and have my emotional issues, and that is a whole other Oprah. It's not the same. I'm speaking of those that seek out ways to screw over other people. Hell, it's hard enough to be here, without having to worry about them creeping 'round.I have this outer and inner world. I consider Rave, and the like, to be my inner world, and that is most private for me. It's mine....just mine. One piece I have saved for me. Away from here, is outer world, and I give of myself and to my responsibilities what is needed of me. I share easily. I love easily. I would do anything for a friend. I'm open, kind, and loving. I spend much time, though, in my inner world....it is my escape, it is my salvation. I call it, my self preservation. I will always have a permanent residence in this underworld. But its not always dark.I do have a darker side, as we all do. I have my mental afflictions. If you are lucky, you will catch a glimpse of them. Or not.....*Wink* I am constantly working, though, on myself and the ability to stay in the light.So I said I'm sensitive. Oh yes...words, looks, whatever, can bruise me. What wounds a person's heart is the intent behind what you say and do. But I'm quite resilient. If I'm backed into a corner, I will attack. I am not a fool...I generally retreat only momentarily, analyze it, and come back, informing you of how utterly wrong you are for your insensitivity and ignorance. Ha....I say, tread softly with a sensitive heart. Watch how you cast those aspersions.I'm a notorious fixer. I have so much Virgo in me. I can't help it. I see a situation or person and automatically start wanting to help them be better. I want to help people and be their emotional rescue. I am a refuge for the emotionally weary, to coddle and cradle...I, in turn, need it as well.I have panic attacks. I have had them since I was about 7 years old (it was Jaws that provoked it!). They are not as bad now. Crowds still make me uncomfortable sometimes. I have to have a place to escape to though! Does this make you want to shield me from the outer world? *warm smile*I'm very artistic. I'm quite eclectic. Most nostalgic person you will ever meet, most likely. I adore intelligence and in love with language. I don't like pompous assholes though. Ego is ok, but it depends on how you use it. When it's all about you, it's boring. See 'ya! And while I'm on the subject, overt crude sexual comments, are bourgeois and blasè. This behavior demeans both you and I, and lacks creativity. Please don't do it. It's annoying. Be warned, I have been known to post particular conversations in my journal.I have been learning to sense our animal guides, via my own Reiki teacher. We all have several (about 7) and where we are in life, at this time, also draws different animal guides to us. I am hoping ..ing my Shaman training. I can see Auras. I work with them when I perform Reiki. Each of the colors mean something, telling where we are spiritually, and emotionally. The colors also shed light on our character, even afflictions. These colors will change, as you and circumstances do. *smile*I have been using tarot cards for quite awhile, but more intensely the last few years. I have also worked with the Ouija since I was about 15 years old. I worked at a website, where I read tarot cards, but quit, due to exhaustion but considering a start with another, expanding my spiritual knowledge. I use intuition, books, my higher self, my guides, psychology, sensitivity, my special understanding of people and sense of humor for my readings...all of it. I am considered a professional psychic, but as I mentioned before, I don't like that term. Most that are into this area, don't like it. Even those that are most excellent, and top in the field, aren't always on the nose. It's more about the feelings received. The best average, I have learned, is about 60-70% right. I love ghost hunting. I mix my love of photography and ghost hunting, to find orbs, which are everywhere. Orbs are those white orbital balls of light that show up in your pictures. Those are considered ghosts, generally. Some say they are balls of energy. "Energy of what?", I ask. I enjoy exploring the cemetery at night, and snapping pictures. It's spooky, so I have to keep it cool. I can freak myself out, quite easily. *laughing* Everything paranormal interests and intrigues me. I have such a thirst for knowledge of the unknown. We all have ghosts around us much of the time. For some reason, I can sense their presence rather strongly at times, and I believe I receive information quite often through them, although it doesn't "come in" like an email, or phone call. *laugh* I actually prefer having them around. "I kinda freak out when it's scary times." (Blair Thumb Project) I have seen UFOs. When I was younger, my Dad and I were coming back from Wichita, Kansas, on a dark, and deserted highway, in the middle of nowhere. Well, that's Kansas, but beside the point...It was middle summer, and the sky was crystal clear. The stars radiating brightly, crystalline in appearance. My Dad had been watching these lights in the sky, far away from us. He stopped the car, turned off the engine and we sat and watched these lights zoom back and forth in the sky. They would seem to stop on a dime and almost seemed to be playing tag or chase. This went on for quite awhile, and then they just zoomed away.As I mentioned previously, I am also into Astrology. I always want to know what someone is, so that I may understand them better...know what to expect, to a certain extent. There is so much more to astrology, than sun signs in the newspaper. I've studied the subject for many years now. Just knowing your sun sign, though, helps me to understand where you are coming from. *wink*I'm a thinker. I analyze everything. Huh? What did you mean by that? The wheels are always turning and seems my mind rarely shuts down. It's hard for me to relax completely. Always pondering...or waiting on the next action. I'm serious, contemplative, yet light and free, much like a butterfly caught in a wind, and in touch with the universal love (Can you feel it? yes-a, you are healllled!). I'm a contradiction. I'm a sucker for love...romance...passion...kindness and compliments. But I'm not a sucker for bullshit. Or am I? Unfortunately, I am a hopeless romantic, seeing it everywhere. I choose Hallmark cards, by the ones that make me cry. "Oh yes, that's the one!!". *sniff, sniff*I also love each of you. Tapping into the universal love is of utmost importance. If you cannot understand how this can be, I'm sorry. I tend to operate on a different plane of existence much of the time. *laughing* Now, keep in mind, that that's not to say I always like who you have chosen to be in this incarnation. And vice versa. I mean, we don't have to like everyone, and not everyone will like us. But we sure can be respectful and human enough to note the differences, and move on, rather than having to "save" them or change them. They've been that way for this long, nothing is going to change now. Brainwashing starts from birth, you know. *smirk*Have you ever met someone that you didn't like, instantly? Or get the feeling that they don't like you? . OR, met someone you instantly fell in love with or felt intense longing for? Have you felt the fire that seemed it had been burning for many lifetimes? That's karma. That very well could be a Twin soulmate or if you are very lucky, a Twin Flame soulmate. We come into this life, forgetting our past incarnations, but throughout our lives, we get these....."feelings" about events, people, places, etc.. This may be because we knew these people before, or have experienced this event, died in this fashion. That is how we manifest these seeming irrational fears of certain animals, bugs, certain deaths...our soul remembers. And where people are concerned, our soul remembers these people. It is up to us to break a cycle of bad karma. Otherwise, if you keep the bad karma going, it will come back.We have three types of soul mates. GET BACK TO THIS---I occasionally practice yoga, and try to live by the 5 Reiki principles:1. Just for today, I will not worry. 2. Just for today, I will not anger, or at least find the source of this anger and tend to it. 3. Just for today, I will work to my best and give it my all. 4. Just for today, I will be kind to all living things. 5. Just for today, I will be thankful and give thanks for at least one thing. I love John Waterhouse and Salvador Dali. There are more...but...I've said too much already. These pictures are The Lady of Shallot and The Persistence of Memory.I must mention my love of music, all kinds of music. Having about 40 gigs of it, I have a song for every mood. A lot of it is sentimental to me, as I am so very sentimental. But then again, I love too easily and that can be deemed foolish. As they say, fools rush in. "Love has made me a fool. Set me on fire and watched as I floundered. Unable to speak, except to cry out, and wait for your answer". --Sarah McLachlan.What I find interesting about myself, is that I keep most of my passionate feelings to myself, inside myself. I suppose that would explain the sensuality in my profile and pictures...my way of releasing a bit of it. For one thing, I don't like being vulnerable. But when I like someone, trust them, I want to open many dark corners to them, demonstrate grand gestures. Of course I expect the same in return. I am a romantic, remember?My thoughts center about a great many things, and continually searching for more to ponder. I am certainly not about just one or a few things. I am somewhat complex, to a certain extent, because my conclusions and theories can change. Since I am always on the lookout for knowledge for improvement or spiritual advancement, it is hard to pin me down on any number of subjects. Crazy fucking Geminis. *smile*Despite how sensitive I am, I have been through a lot of chaos, drama, tears, and laughter. I've been abused by others, and by myself. I've learned though, alot, and am much wiser and put up with much less shit. I am kind to myself. I love life, and I'm a survivor. But, then, in my opinion, every one that has come before us and every one that will come after, are survivors. *smile*"tongue tied and twisted, just an earthbound misfit......I."Amor est vitae essentia - Love is the essence of life.Ab/Ex uno disce omnes - From one person, learn all people.Carpe Noctum~Namaste~Lux et veritas,~Jamie~Save The World - One Click At A Time!
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