Hello. I am a book about porn. My name is Fast Forward: Confessions of a Porn Screenwriter. I was written by Eric Spitznagel, a guy who writes for The Believer and Playboy. He seems like a nice enough fellow, but I wouldn't let him babysit for me or anything.
I am a true story about a guy who moves to Hollywood to become a highly-paid screenwriter, but instead ends up writing scripts for adult films. Determined to make the most of his bad luck, he sets out to make a movie that will be celebrated more for its witty dialogue and gripping plot than raw depictions of hardcore sex. But in an industry averse to "complicated words" and devoted to churning out disposable erotica, this is no easy task, especially when the author is hired to write a sequel to Butt Crazy. Along the way, he meets a director with delusions of being the porn Kurosawa, an actress with a scholarly knowledge of medical maladies, and an NBA star who might just make the biggest mistake of his life.
I am living proof that when life hands you lemons, it's not always possible to make lemonade, especially when the "lemons" in this particular metaphor are engorged, throbbing genitals.
My name comes from the industry term for screenplays. Porn scripts are called "fast forwards" because audiences are expected to reach for their remotes whenever the actors stop having sex and start talking. I was published by Manic D Press in 2006, and you can buy me here , or here , or here .
I've been told I'm funny. Publisher's Weekly claimed that I'm "full of colorful descriptions and crass wit." Amy Sedaris said, "Like most pornography, I found Fast Forward to be a relentless and indecent assault on the traditional family values that Americans find most sacred. Makes a great stocking stuffer."
I am a paperback book, so I am soft to the touch and nonabrasive. I contain only 214 pages, so I am the perfect length for craptime reading. I am inexpensive (just $13.95 and I will be yours forever) and educational (my appendix includes the complete Butt Crazy script as a study aid). Though my cover does feature a picture of a phallic eraser, I am mostly inoffensive. I will love you unconditionally.
Don't delay, order it today!!
