Jacob A. - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Truth be told, I was adopted by wolves till the age of two. I think it made USA Today. The State realized the mix-up a little too late. Sent me to my current parents for some Jefferson Airplane 8 tracks, three cans of PBR and three Senior Citizen tickets to the truck pull. True Story, as this explains my mangy hair and the ability to devour large quantities of raw fish with rice..I have recently packed my bags and landed in my fourth time zone in 10 years. I made the most of said years basking in the rain and mists of Seattle. As of Current, I am residing in Terre Haute for a few months to pick up a little sun with my rock slash roll. I am totally enrolled in Small Town 101 right now. I have included Tom Petty and John Mellencamp in my steady diet of boredom and reconnection.I read,Party, live and write. I am a recovering Rock star, an ambassador to the masses, a consultant for the entertainment community and a walking daydreamer. I love mass transportation and road rallies.. I'd like to take over the world, but the killers beat me to the punch. I am on a sabbatical. We'll call it reverse Manifest Destiny. You probably see me around your neighbourhood.The List:

I have done stand up, sketch comedy and shadow fighting.

I have never been a member of The Lashes, Death Cab for Cutie, the Postal Service or the opening band. I did buy their first t-shirt. it's pink, black and white.

I went to a public school and have never taken part in the D.A.R.E program.

I can promote anything. I hype up the library all the time

I am good at connecting people

I was once 86'd from a Bank of America. This being hilarious because I don't own a criminal record.

The 1986 New York Mets. This is something we can talk about when you're ready.

The Mets in general

I have never taken part in the special olympics, but I have a friend who has a bronze medal. he acquired it from the Pawn Shop. This being important,because it is quite possible I share a birthday with Corky from "Life Goes On."

My friends debate whether I like music or I watch way too much VH1 and read pitchfork. I am guessing a little of both. I am good at critiquing music

I tried out for SportsCenter. I love sports. I can talk â€œballâ€.

Advice time: Read Harper's Magazine. It'll improve your life.

I am currently secretly in love with the Atlantic

I make up quotes and act like they were written by TS Elliot or Bono.

I taught myself to dance by watching Biz Markie videos.

I have more visions than the Pope.

I like to get drunk with my friends

And talk about the Bill of Rights.

or philosophy.

or art

or theory

or music.

I like my beer to be of Latin American origin

I like my wine to match the meal. I am currently in love with Scotch and various american/bourbon whiskeys.

I guess I should have summed the last three bullets with I like to drink.

I am head-over-hills in love with the troubles of class.

I am in the New Knowledge and the Urban dictionary.

I am in love with Wikipedia.

I throw great mutha fucking parties.

I am famous in two cities.

I drink with Rock stars. In fact, I am starting a business based on it.

I am contemplating a return to school. This will probably never happen. Unless I am 30.

I want to be a radio talk show host.

or something else.

I wrote a screenplay once, but I hate the movie theater.

I am a playwright.

I don't mind going on stage. I think I am good at it.

I think I am good at everything, even when I am not.

I procrastinate like a motherfucker.

I love to run away from my problems.

I'll pack up and move to different area codes on a whim.

Jonathan Richman

I like NPR. In case you haven't noticed, I am from the politico-West Coast-Indie-British-nerd-Slacker branch on the tree of life.

I know where all candy is at the candy store.

You'll find me anywhere and everywhere.

I know hip, because it sticks to me like honey.

Caldwell defines me as a connector and Freud doesn't know jack shit.

I have more fans than your area drug dealer.

I am probably only the second person in the world that could have an open conversation with 3000 people and read the paper at the same time. Evan calls it multi-tasking. I call it ADD.

I live on my phone. Its the best way to get a hold me.. even if we're in the same closet space.

Everybody knows me. I just cant remember the where or how.

I acknowledge that I have flaws. I cant get rid of them. I was trying to set a termination process, but it got banned in South Dakota.

I recommend watching "the mayor of Sunset Strip" to have a crash course of my life story.

I could seriously live off of a diet that includes tomato basil soup, grilled cheese and a nutty bar. I will not eat anything with Pasta or onions.

I have a really big following in the "Who the fuck controls my life?" demographic. The "I was evicted last week" follows a close second."

My Interests

writing in slang, Pop art, Television, Movies made by hand, Girls in rock bands, Girls who arent in rock bands, Jewish Girls, Non-Jewish girls, Meatball subs and Collard Greens, Social Networkings, Marketing, Films, Media induced pain, Infomercials, the clapper, pushing buttons, making waves, day dreaming

I'd like to meet:

Actually, I need someone who can come to my house and occasionally check my dairy products. I am currently taking applications. I also would love to meet these people: Ed Wood, Woody Allen, Jerry's kids,bebe's kids, People who can land me major/minor roles in Pre-Oscar nominated Films, The Girl I met in the emergency room, Missy elliot, The Man, Big Brother, The CIA, Interesting people, People who like KISS, Un-interesting people, People from Indiana, Anyone who ever appeared in the Movies Hoosier or Breaking away, AL Pacino, Marlon Brando,Gene Hackman,Dave Barry, boys who play pretty music, and Girls in Rock Bands. People who play Music in General. Aspiring Film/Playwrights, people who love slang. People who can debate about Gangsta Rap and it's correlation to the Rat Pack. The Guy who shot JFK, the Easter Bunny, The Girl I met at the Bar last night, People who excel at awkward moments. and understand the art of conversation.. People who read The Tipping Point. The past me, the future me and me right now.I used to have Ben Gibbard on the list, but I carded him at work yesterday. PS.Jack Bauer is a bad muthafucka. PPS. I would also like to meet the wolves that watched me til the age of two.

Music:

Cowboy Curse,my friends band, The Who, Gin Blossoms, The Kinks, The Joan of Arc family tree, Pulp,bloc party,Belle and Sebastian, Pinback, Sigur Ros, Michael Jackson - circa pre-Thriller, The Postal Service, Oasis, The Gin Blossoms, Journey, Jawbreaker, The Vibrators, Elvis Costello, The Rezillos, The Smiths, X, Le Tigre, The Shins, Eagles of Death Metal, the lucksmiths, the neutral milk hotel, the 6th, the magnetic fields, whales/ataris, Jonathan Richman,The song on the boostmobile commerical, Neil Young, Lynard Skynard, Curtis Mayfield, John Lee Hooker, the Blind Black guy that just died, Jay-Z, The Cure, Stone Roses,The Catch, USE, Death from Above 1979, T-Rex, Tight Bros. from Way Back When, OutKast, The mothafuckin D-R-E, Prince, Jesus and Mary Chain, Hope Sandoval, Skiffle, The Beatles(the OG Skiffle band), Blur, Will Oldham/Palace Music/Bros./Bonnie Prince Billy, ESG, Fitty!, Stereo Total, Electric 6, The Shins, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Franz Ferdinand, The Psychedelic Furs, Tears for Fears, Erasure, 90's college rock,local music, one hit wonders, The Shocking Blue, those Usher and Kanye West songs that Jeff sings. MC P PANTS and Sam Rousso Raps! and more...PS. I am sorry I forgot the Make-up. And N.W.H. and the Lashes. and metric

Movies:

Cocaine: Or How I blame Rock n Roll on Alcohol and Night Jobs. I am planning to make the movies that roll in my head one day. it's called life and its an out of body experience.

Television:

Saved the world. I also like Sifl and Olly.

Books:

The movie is usually better..

Heroes:

Woody Allen, Ed Wood, Rodney Bingenheimer and Foxworth Stevens, WC Fields and Oscar Wilde and this cat.. I'll join you one day old friend.. Colt 45 in the Grave

My Blog

I had a dream about some cat named Pompel

Pompell is walking down the hallway of his old world apartment building. A young mistress in a sundress pulls behind him with her hand shaped as a gun. YM: Freeze! Raise your hands i...
Posted by Jacob A. on Sun, 01 Jun 2008 09:13:00 PST

I kissed a girl..

It's not the same song. Not even close. It shares the name and the subject matter and it splits from there/ No Fabio in the Music Video. If I was in charge of rights for everyone d...
Posted by Jacob A. on Tue, 27 May 2008 08:38:00 PST

Rock kicks

lets go dancing on the movie setof queen marie and ann marrettewe play some beach blanket bingo.we'll go drinking at the dirt saloonsi'll buy a drink a toast for twothen we head out to the sun set.I h...
Posted by Jacob A. on Tue, 27 May 2008 04:47:00 PST

next stop

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.Blah Blah.Blah blah blah blah blah.what what? Yep Yep.Blah blah blah.I don't think it's going over so well.Blah blah blah. I'll think I'll spend tomorrow riding on my bi...
Posted by Jacob A. on Sun, 25 May 2008 08:47:00 PST

the nicest thing about ho-humming

It always starts out with the letters. Advising the other on feelings we should probably speak aloud in a quiet room. I always thought it would come out best when wash...
Posted by Jacob A. on Tue, 20 May 2008 02:24:00 PST

Lets label this love in your twenties.

I can't tell you the reason I wrote this piece, but its not about love under a sycamore tree.Let's just try to talk about the life in which we pray. I am not spiritual in the spiritual sen...
Posted by Jacob A. on Tue, 20 May 2008 09:41:00 PST

class room. hum the words do um

We wake and up And go to schoolWork the breakfastWe can use. The bells always sound way to soon.And his world comes crumbling down in this very vary class room huh. In this very very classr...
Posted by Jacob A. on Wed, 14 May 2008 08:49:00 PST

how a bunch of white people made urban a capella

I can't really tell you how I found it. Wait, yes I can. I was feeling that Ben Folds version of Bitches ain't shit and decided a video was needed for such enjoyment. I youtubed.&nbs...
Posted by Jacob A. on Wed, 14 May 2008 06:02:00 PST

The First thing you should say to a stranger..

Or not a stranger. I guess it's always polite to being a conversation with a how and you. Picked it up from Pop-up Video. Learn something everyday I suppose. I got a new bike. ...
Posted by Jacob A. on Mon, 12 May 2008 07:06:00 PST

I couldn’t write it any better.

Well I woke in mid-afternoon cause that's when it all hurts the most I dream I never know anyone at the party and I'm always the host If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts Yo...
Posted by Jacob A. on Sat, 10 May 2008 12:26:00 PST