J//MYERS

Im pretty rad most of the time. Probably around 85%. I was born into a hippy cult and escaped at age eight. I spent most of my childhood hanging out with the homeless, playing chess and studying math. Finally I was drawn into the underground art world. My goal in the life is to be famous. But not for the fame. I actually want skip that part to the VH-1 behind the music years. Where I finish my third stint in rehab. I dont know what a stint is but my publicist will advise against them im sure. Then I'll fall into an out of control downward spiral. Me and Lindsay Lohan passing out face first in urinals crashing into Rally's drive through and getting busted with David Lee Roth picking up he-she hookers while my meth lab at motel 6 in the valley blows to hell taking out half a city block. Then I'll probably get some bad press for my second D.U.I. coming across the border with five mexicans duct taped to the undercarriage and a gallon of G.H.B. in the trunk with Paul Reubens passed out in the back seat. Eventually I may make it to Dateline when Chris Hansen goes undercover and infiltrates my cult burrowed like a bunch of V.C. tripping balls on acid in the desert while theyre coming to take our guns.But despite it all I'll be too concerned about the my recurring dream of David Bowie tickeling my nipples, dressed as H.R. Puff N' Stuff... but not so much Ziggy Stardust, more or less the Goblin king from Labrynth bowie.