Wave of Darkness 'zine profile picture

Wave of Darkness 'zine

Hell-o, this is the Emilinator and I am a frustrated car salesman.

About Me

My name is Emil Rex Cruz. I was born 08/17/1979. I love to cook. My Pucca bag has been my trademark and lucky charm as well. Scamming is how I earn a living. My words seem to rub people off the wrong way, which I find really amusing. I've been listening to extreme music since 1990 and have since adapted the ways of the left hand path. Aside from reviewing worthless CD's from shitty bands and publishing my own magazine called Wave of Darkness (since 1994, assclowns!), I also love surfing granny porn. I have a fixed smile to my face. My cheerful personality has won me a lot of crazed fans, but that's life of a rockstar, I guess. I have a strong sense of humor and a huge appetite especially when it comes to dinuguan (blood stew), balut (rotting premature duck embryo) and pizza (Sbarro). I am very conservative when it comes to my beliefs but extremely liberated when I open my mouth. I am THE BEST damn salesman in the entire world. I'm the friendliest person one could ever meet. Really now.

My Interests

Collecting knives and guns, classical music, Mcfarlane Toys (I totally adore the bloody designs of the Six Faces of Madness collection and the Alien vs Predator series slay as well), the Boston Celtics, making compilations for friends (i.e. posers), NOAH and Ring of Honor, Finlay maniacs, Yellow Cab Pizza, the Japanese wrestler KENTA, smooth jazz, AOR, hard rock, solo piano, new wave, prog rock, instrumentals, reviewing worthless albums for my magazine, Wave of Darkness.

I'd like to meet:

People that surf granny porn. Anyone that share the same interest in life and music can just go ahead and add my crappy MySphincter (copyright Nuclear Blaash @ WMS 'zine) account. I will soon be unleashing the new Wave of Darkness site with all the reviews I have made from 2004-present. Hatemail will, for sure, fill my inbox when it becomes available to all you Inter(pet)net overlords.

Music:


Fave bands: Abyssos, Acid House Kings, Alex Skolnick Trio, Algaion (just the debut), Andromeda, Angelzoom, Anima Damnata, Antaeus, Arckanum, Arcturus, Ashdautas, Astarte, Atrox, Axis of Advance, Azaghal, Azure
, Behexen, Beseech, Bestial Raids, Beyond Dawn, Biomechanical, Blaash and Bahimiron (awful plug, eh), Blot Mine, Brother Firetribe, Buried Beneath, Chaosdaemon, Club 8, Coldworker, Communic, Craft, Cretin, Crimson Massacre, Crystal Blue, Dagoba, Darkane, Darkwoods My Betrothed, Dave Koz, David Benoit, Death Breath (because I fuggin' STINK), Decapitated, Deceased, Defleshed, Dew-Scented, Diabolique, Diamond Head, Dismember, Don Caballero, Drawn and Quartered, Dysrhythmia, Edguy, Eidomantum, Embracing, Entwine, Eternal Now, Excrescent, Exodus, Friends Again, Funebrarum, Funeral Mist, Funerot, General Surgery, Ghoul, Gin Blossoms, Gotthard, Grey Division Blue, Hacride, Harem Scarem, Hatesphere, Ibex Throne (even if Erik aka Lord Dying is a crybaby I still love this Mormon-wannabe), Impaled, In Ruins, In the Woods, Infinited Hate, Jigsore Terror, Jim Chappell, Joyce Cooling, Kaamos, Karmakanic, Kent, Kings of Convenience, Klimt 1918, Lee Ritenour, Lord of Depression, Lost Horizon, Luciferion, Lycanthropy (Alabama, USA), Manes (new), Maze of Torment, Mechanical Poet, Mercenary, Mezquita, Michele Luppi's Heaven, Mnemic, Municipal Waste, My Early Mustang, Mysterious (Pinoy dit mital pioneers!), Neal Morse, Nebura Bunget, Necrovation, New Order, Nifelheim, North, Noumena, Novembre, Ofermod, old Katatonia (and I mean OLD, not this emotional crybaby fake crap they're putting out now - WITHOUT GOD, fuckers!), Ondskapt, Parliament Syndicate, Penitent, Pest, Pleasure and Pain, Prime STH, Quest of Aidance, Raison D'etre, Rapture, Raunchy, Regurgitate, Repugnant, Richard Andersson's Space Odyssey, Scald, Scar Symmetry, Setherial, Sheila and the Insects, Sinister (Bart-era only), Skyfire, Sorhin, Spawn of Possession, Subway to Sally, Suicidal Winds, Svarthymn, Swallow the Sun, Swing Out Sister, Tears for Fears, Tenhi, Textures, The Axis of Perdition, The Chasm, The Equinox ov the Gods, The Duskfall, The Soil Bleeds Black, This Empty Flow, This Ending, Thornspawn, Thoron, Threat Signal, Thy Infernal, Thy Primordial, Time Requiem, Twilightning, Ulver, Unmoored, Usipian, Warpig, Witchcraft, Without Grief, Wolf, Workshy, Xasthur, Xytras

Movies:

Naked Gun: The Final Insult, The Negotiator, Nothing to Lose, Big Momma's House, Drunken Master, Snake and the Eagle's Shadow, Ghoulies, the House of Seven Corpses (1974), Before Sunset, Gangs of New York, A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Devil's Rejects, GUMMO, Cold Mountain, The Village. Looking forward to TRANSFORMERS the Movie and maybe Pathfinder and 300 all slated next year.

Television:

I enjoy watching those infomercials where they go like "...but WAIT, that's not all! If you order now, you will receive the new bla bla bla FREE just by calling today" and when you call to place an order all of a sudden the sales reps would go "yes it is for free, but all you have to do is pay for the shipping and handling." At least I used to do that shit.

Books:

NATURAL CURES THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THE PRICE by Kevin Trudeau because for $29.95 plus $9.95 for shipping and handling it sure is a friggin' SCAM. I wonder why no one can't seem to jail this retard. Wheresmyskin 'zine by Nuclear Blaash (Texas Hell with Alcohol).

Heroes:

Bo Bice, Uncle Percy and Captain Spaulding. And that midget, leprechaun or whatever little bastard that comes out of the ring in every Finlay match.

My Blog

CHOKE THAT PIGGY!

  VINYL versus CD: written by E-Doggie-Dog article exclusively appearing on Wave of Darkness #4   If you're thinking that this would be yet another boring article about which one's bet...
Posted by Wave of Darkness 'zine on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 11:39:00 PST

Some great news

Man, just wanna let you fuggers know, I just farted, and it smelled awesome.
Posted by Wave of Darkness 'zine on Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:44:00 PST