Hi world. It's me, Derek, coming to you now for the first time with the ability to finally be honest. Honest, both, with myself and, finally, my family and friends. What can I say? Yes, I'm and ass-man. Call me what you will, I've heard it all: Booty-bandit, Backdoor Barbara, and, of course, Stinky-Stanky-Wanky. No longer will I hide in the shadows(and Port-O-Potties), ashamed of a desire I have no control over. I'm an adult now and my life can be anything I make of it; I realize that now. If I continue to supress and hide the raging tsunami of passion I feel whenever I'm in the considerable shade of a giant cottage cheese fanny I'll go insane. So here I am, me, Derek; the same goofy bastard you've all come to know and love. I guess my dream is that you all understand that I haven't changed. In fact I'm more Derek than ever, and those of you who are really my friends, who really love me, will see that. Yes, there are going to be new people in my life; people with humongous ass-cheeks. All I ask is that you open up your hearts and widen your doorways and give us a chance. I love you all and hope you'll continue to love me too.
