Colonel John Matrix profile picture

Colonel John Matrix

I eat Green Beréts for breakfast

About Me

I am a retired elite special forces Colonel, forced back into action by the kidnap of my beloved daughter Jenny by a crazed Australian with a keen interest in fetish clothing. I am impervious to bullets fired in my general direction, grenades, falling from over 400 feet from an aeroplane and iron bars to the ribs.

I made my myspace layout using Pimp-My-Profile.com

My Interests

Smelling helicopters, not co-operating, feeding deer, ridiculing Boy George, ice-cream, teaching my daughter how to elbow people, the numbers 1 and 3, driving SUVs with no brakes, women of mixed race, shopping for guns, fighting security guards, ripping seats out of cars, picking up phone booths, porsche abuse, holding people over cliffs, lying, eating Green Beréts for breakfast, hitting sea planes, rowing in speedos, one-liners, shooting at latin infantry, hiding in potting sheds and knife fights with moustached Australians in chainmail.

I'd like to meet:

Deer, people who want me to co-operate, small men with square ties, large black men in straw hats, poorly trained security guards, easily influenced women of mixed ethnicity, Green Beréts, amorous police officers, poorly trained hispanic soldiers, dictators wth bad accents and this bastard:

Look how much I like poorly trained hispanic infantry:

Music:

"We Fight For Love" by Power Station
James Horner

Heroes:

General Franklin Kirby