J.P. profile picture

J.P.

Pain=humor. Therefore, sometimes I inflict funny.

About Me

I'm a Canadian stand-up comic, writer, and an insomniac with narcoleptic tendencies... but then again who isn't?

My Interests

Standup Comedy, Movies, Experiencing new foods, Music, not being shot, and well trained monkees.

I'd like to meet:

People that are not trying to kill me.

Music:

I like a Mix of Celtic, Bluegrass, Rock and/or Roll, Ska, Classical, and the unforgetable rythm of a dying Billy Goats last breath but only when it's in the key of B Flat Major.

Movies:

Cinema Paradiso, Big Fish, Shaun of the Dead, Northfork, Last Supper, Love Me If You Dare, Awakenings, Love Actually, Waterland (not Waterworld) and a somewhat homemade video that will become public property if I do not receive the proper down payments (isn't that right... Pedro).

Television:

24, Mystery Science Theatre 3000, Scrubs, Prison Break, This is Wonderland, Arrested Development

Books:

David Copperfield, Five People You Meet in Heaven, Modern Manners, House of Leaves, and my roommate's diary (more specifically February 2005).

Heroes:

Groucho Marx, Doug Stanhope, John Irving, Charles Dickens

My Blog

Medieval Feast

It is a real shame that incompetant people are allowed to organize... well... anything. Last Saturday I attended a "Medieval Feast". Just so you know, I am no stranger to medieval feasts. Several yea...
Posted by J.P. on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 10:59:00 PST

My Celebrity Look-alikes

The two that are missing are Sally Field and Joey Fatone. Which is cool because often I dress up like Sally Field when I'm hanging at the local hairdressers.  ...
Posted by J.P. on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 03:22:00 PST

My repounce to someone who might never read this.

During my years for scholastic complications, I had met many a pompous twits making illogical claims in attempt to heighten their already disappointing persona. One such claim, that I have recently re...
Posted by J.P. on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 12:15:00 PST

Where ideas originate from.

Recently I've been bombarded with questions from fellow internetters. The one that has come up the most frequently is, "J.P., you are an extremely handsome, incredibly intelligent, and uniquely o...
Posted by J.P. on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 01:19:00 PST

Things not to say on a first date

Lately, I have had the honor of meeting several new lovely women. Each one, upon joining me for a cup of joe, have considered going for coffee to be a first date. Being the oblivious one that I a...
Posted by J.P. on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 02:33:00 PST

Unpublished Childrens Books

A good friend recently asked me to join her in writing a Childrens book. What most people do not know about me, is that I used to be an acclaimed Chrildrens Book Author. It's true. But much like many ...
Posted by J.P. on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 11:54:00 PST

Things I have learnt in 2006.

I would like to believe that in everyday that passes a new leason is learnt. Of course, most leasons are miniscule in significance to my self growth, for instance leasons like, toast doesn't tast...
Posted by J.P. on Fri, 29 Dec 2006 01:12:00 PST

The politically correct Christmas Carol

It has recently been informed to me that due to a lack of literary knowledge amongst the average person, the Christmas carol, "Here we come a Wassailing", has been changed to "Here we come a Carolling...
Posted by J.P. on Sun, 17 Dec 2006 12:04:00 PST

New Blog

Sorry. As much as I would like to continue writing blogs, I find that most of my time is held up due to circumstances beyond my control. But to stay true to those that read, I figured I would still pr...
Posted by J.P. on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 01:49:00 PST

What not to say at a job interview.

While I was attending the University of Saskatchewan, I often found myself being denied by the university's newspaper, due to content or irrelevance. So for the sake of practice, I have decided to wri...
Posted by J.P. on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 11:02:00 PST