I was born in Seattle, my youth was split between Chicago and Seattle. There were short periods of living in Greece when I was very young and New Mexico when I was in my teens. My adolescence mostly sucked, I hated myself. I was embarrassed by my family and how we lived. In my 20's I began to realize that I at least was human and people liked me but I never knew what to do with it.
In May 1995, I was living in Seattle, I never was happy there and after some life experience I really began to just hate the place. Finally one morning I thought about the freedom available to me and the fact that if I wanted to I could start a new life somewhere else. I had wanted to live in California, my trips south had become more frequent. I would travel down here and come back to Seattle more miserable than when I left. The only thing keeping me from being happy was myself. In the summer of '95, I sold everything and moved to San Francisco.
This MySpace thing has taken many turns since I first got on here. In the beginning I was thrilled that there was a forum to write about the subject I know most about, myself. At the time I was rebounding from some of the craziest relationships and drug binges I could have ever imagined, only these were real. I somehow had turned a corner and arrived at a place I never imagined myself being. There I was, broken and trying to put myself back together. It took many years and many embarrassing moments to arrive at that place, even more to get here, still in great disrepair.
I used this as a forum for my inner voices, the ones no one should ever hear. I was relatively anonymous here, especially since most of my friends were high and too broke to buy a computer. As life is though, one by one, through various means, new and old friends, girlfriends, etc., found my MySpace. The anonymity faded somewhat, lines became blurred and my writing took many strange twists.
Now I am here. I'm here because of all of this, obviously I had a good idea because it's working. I'm happier, more secure and I feel like myself more than ever. I love what I write here. Sometimes it is embarrassing to see what I have written, other times it's a source of pride. I am not out to hurt anyone, be-smudge anyone or get anyone (myself included) into trouble. I want as best as possible to put my story into the public domain, in real time while doing as little damage as possible. I want to have an effect but I don't want to hurt people. The people involved in my life aren't the story, they are what they are. People doing people things.
My life is unique in so many ways. Through the insecurities, the drug and alcohol problems, the compulsive sex life and the distractions has existed this very organized, rather conservative and stable man. A complete contradiction of my dark side yet both are completely exposed. This practical side which seems to have been a life buoy at times, can be as detrimental as it's opposition. The two sides, living in one space sharing every day and every experience. Each evaluating the other to seemingly no logical conclusion. That is what I am.
My hours are odd, my work is odd and this MySpace and blog is the culmination of it all.
Sx Sx N.
WHICH MOTLEY CRUE SONG ARE YOU?
Knock 'Em Dead Kid
Rock the fuck on..You're Knock 'Em Dead Kid..I personally thinxx you're the best song on SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!.....
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heart attack