hotter than jesus. - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I like cheese. A lot. But I hate gouda. I get a kick out of saying the word 'llama', and tend to refer to my favorite people as 'boogers' or 'monkeys'. I say I hate things just to prevent confusion, when, in actuality, I secretly love them.. but only sometimes. I think the letter B is pretty fucking sexy, and the phrase 'fucking christ' can successfully play off any inability to express a thought in full. I completely lack proper volume control most of the time, and I laugh far too much for anyone's own good. I am honest to a fault, but I have yet to figure out whose fault it is. I claim to be partially deaf, mostly because I need an excuse to stop listening to people when I get bored. I contort my face.. all the time, and it has yet to get 'stuck that way'. I change my haircolor on a monthly basis so that my friends will feel like they've met a new person, twelve whole times a year. I'm more neurotic than my mother, but most people don't notice because they've never met my mother. I've been told I'm intimidating, but I'm pretty sure the people who've said that live in a very large house of lies. I have a pet bunny who runs around my apartment freely because he's a pimp, and you can't deny a pimp his freedom. Oh. And I like cheese. A lot. But you try to give me gouda, and it's your head. Seriously.
Also, I hurt people for a living, and I love shameless plugs, so click here for the shop I pierce at. (FYI: The site is in the process of being updated.)

My Interests

rain, shiny things, big boots, motorcycles, bicycles, reptiles, sushi, lagomorphs, chai tea, synthetic hair, synthetic music, train of thought conversation, holding onto my 'inner child', distraction/diversion, lust, knowing where i stand, sometimes but always, learning from mistakes, being the world's biggest dork, my career, spontaneity, [com]passion, running into inanimate objects, punching inanimate objects, making offensive faces at people, being fickle, stealing your babies and eating your cheese (or was it the other way around?..)

I'd like to meet:

err. Meeting people often scares me. especially meeting people who tell me they want to meet me. but. yeah.
I wouldn't mind meeting a person or two that can manage to remind me that I shouldn't just go with my gut and lock myself in my house forever. People that I can learn from and teach at the same time. People not afraid of life and whatever it chooses to throw at them. People who have balls, people who aren't afraid to shake me when I won't wake the fuck up, and mostly, people who are genuine.. not just pretending to be.
If that's not possible, well, then, meeting people who just plain entertain me will have to suffice.

Music:

My musical taste is ever-changing and really depends on what week it is. I lean more toward Industrial, 'Terror EBM', Coldwave, and Structured Noise, but have been known to change it up a lot. I know the words to a lot of songs I shouldn't, which is a pretty awesome way to scare people I don't like very much.

Movies:

If I tried to list them all, I would probably forget one, and I don't want to be unfair. Movies get very jealous, you know.

Television:

I just got cable TV. I never thought it would happen, but Comcast drew me in with their evil package deal. So I mostly sit on the couch now with my eyebrows raised, brain oozing out of my ears, while I try to tolerate watching that one show that everyone is talking about (you know, the one). I still don't get it. I still hate TV. A lot. In the face.

Books:

Chuck Palahniuk (I will someday hire him and make him write books all day, every day for only me to read), Augusten Burroughs (but Sellevision sucked), David Sedaris, Neil Gaiman, things about psychology, organized crime, forensics, and other creepy things.

Heroes:

If I get to wear underoos and a cape, I'll be my own damned hero. Otherwise, I think the evil monkeys in my closet win this one..

My Blog

Skydiving: yes, I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane!

Oh. My. God. I jumped out of an airplane. After a couple of incidents (them trying to cancel on us because of weather, money issues, our group getting broken up due to lack of instructors, etc) and ...
Posted by hotter than jesus. on Mon, 14 May 2007 02:49:00 PST

My parents never taught me that honesty was the key..

I There are very few people these days that I can be candid with, with whatever, and not be afraid of what they'll think of me after.There are very few people who will realize that, when I say I reall...
Posted by hotter than jesus. on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 03:00:00 PST

Parents and me and the boondocks makes three

Okay, so it makes four, really, but it was the title that first came into my head, so it's sticking. I'm blaming the fact that I'm almost deliriously sick (when I was fine yesterday, wtf?) and bored a...
Posted by hotter than jesus. on Tue, 02 Jan 2007 10:22:00 PST

Battlewounds and my NYE, by kym, age 25

First off, let me clear this up:I'm not a big celebrator of holidays. Actually, I act much like a crotchety old woman, or a lonely bachelorette when the holidays roll around. Sitting around, grumbling...
Posted by hotter than jesus. on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 03:33:00 PST

Zombies and lemons and gym-socks, Oh My!

I just awoke from a zombie-killing dream. I was killing zombies in my parents' old backyard. And I was allowed to practice before I actually got attacked by them. A siren would sound (a la Silent Hi...
Posted by hotter than jesus. on Sat, 09 Dec 2006 09:20:00 PST

I wanna be a llama when I grow up.

I'm sitting here, picking my nose, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, yawning, and occasionally grunting about the fact that today is yet another day of work and this has seemed like the longest week e...
Posted by hotter than jesus. on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 08:44:00 PST

Today:

Today, I had my first real weekend day off in what seems like forever. Today was filled with: - Parents, friends, and talktalktalking - Trash sculptures, sea air, aimless wandering, and a clear view...
Posted by hotter than jesus. on Mon, 13 Nov 2006 07:32:00 PST

Who killed the Baby Jesus?

Thanks to a couple of friends, I've become addicted to the site PostSecret. I guess it has something to do with voyeurism, but I'm not going to think about that right now. Instead, I'm posting one th...
Posted by hotter than jesus. on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 10:26:00 PST

Just a small PSA (AKA, stop trying to add me)

I'm writing this blog to disperse a couple of misconceptions, since, clearly, some people can't quite get a grasp on certain little 'rules' I have regarding MySpace. I always thought the following thi...
Posted by hotter than jesus. on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 12:14:00 PST

Don't Get Screwed

Posted by hotter than jesus. on Fri, 28 Jul 2006 04:30:00 PST