Cobra Baghdad - ProfilesArchive

About Me

How to make a Cobra Baghdad
Ingredients:
2 parts Ego
2 parts Righteous Indignation
1 part sociopath
1 part obsessive
1 part addict
Splash of Soda
Dash of Wonk
Method:
Combine all ingredients in cocktail mixer, and mix violently until drink explodes. Serve in an old fashioned glass with heroin and garnish with the blood of your enemies.
Cobra Baghdad, the most dangerous man in internet columnity was born to an anonymous Mexican prostitute with at least one chronic drug addiction on a bus traveling north towards Los Angeles. His father seems to have been either a successful Corporate Lawyer from Des Moines, a convicted serial rapist, or an equally annonymous member of Alpha Kappa Alpha fraternity at UCSD. His criminal record has been sealed due to the age at which he committed the bombings, and he swears he was completely uninvolved in the deaths of David Koresh, Paul Wellstone, and the political career of David Dukes.
His greatest qualifications as a journalist are his bonafides as a sociopath and self-proclaimed prophet. The extremity of his methadone addiction has been greatly exaggerated as has his taste for human flesh and procilivities for semi-adolescent catholic girls. Any careers including law enforcement, event management, riot control, military service, demolitions disposal, and drug dealing are neither confirmed nor denied by his editors and handlers, and his writing is endorsed by no noteworthy service, organization, religious institution, or government agency.
He was living in an armored compound on the island of Grenada until a raid by ATF in late fall 2001. While the only charges filed were illegal possession of unregistered firearms and resisting arrest, he has since then gone to ground. Current rumor places him in a ghetto apartment somewhere on the west coast. He is to be presumed armed and dangerous, and has been known to open fire on passing strangers for little reason.
Cobra Baghdad--
[noun]:
The Most Dangerous Man in Internet Columnity
QuizGalaxy.com

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Now Hiring: Filthy Assistant
Ideal candidate is an idealist with a high speed internet connection and a personal dedication to fighting the same windmills and oil derriks as I do. The position requires a willingness to shoot me clever ideas for columns, help out with a little research, copy stuff from one blog to another on a semi-regular basis, and help plan random acts of insurrection. Experience with personal violence a plus. Interviews are random. Gender, age, race, and location of minimal importance. Position may require exposure to second-hand tobacco smoke and bourbon.

I'm also plotting a major social movement interested in substantial political change and possibly high treason in time of war. All members welcome. Only requirement is dedication to the cause, personal courage, and the belief that it is the responsibility of every American to make this country better and to make this country good.

My Blog

Or Gods and Men

For any of you interested in Judeo-Christian mythology, there are myriad orders of angels. There are different means of ranking them (different occultists have ranked them in terms as varied as "rank...
Posted by on Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:37:00 GMT

Picking at Scabs.

I busted open a knuckle a little bit ago working out with a heavy bag. It stings a little, and has formed a weird shaped scab that will probably end up scarring oddly. This will happen for a coupl...
Posted by on Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:26:00 GMT

Just like that one Show...

Were I an ancient aboriginal Programming Director, I'd worship Burn Notice as a Pagan God. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's a summer action series which has started running episodes in the ...
Posted by on Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:39:00 GMT

My Life as a Trophy Collection

I've stopped taking photos. I did it a while ago, but not for the reasons other people think. The reason I normally cite is about not having a camera. This is true, but it's also a largely pointless o...
Posted by on Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:39:00 GMT

Disconnect

I don't know what it is recently. But the more I look at things, the less I see the thing itself, and the more I see a sort of underlying series of qualities, almost all of which include some serious ...
Posted by on Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:17:00 GMT

Plumbing the Depth

I have this strange quality that causes near complete strangers to believe that Im a good person. I dont understand exactly what this quality is. Some say its that Im so sincere, not realizing tha...
Posted by on Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:26:00 GMT

Drinking the Kool Aid

So, I have a niece. She's technically my cousin (she's my cousin's daughter by marriage which makes her a second cousin once removed, I think) but we relate in a very uncle-niece way, so I think of h...
Posted by on Mon, 20 Jul 2009 13:21:00 GMT

On Chimp Genetics

Weird thing I recently found out. Chimps fight wars of aggression with one another using cudgels and spears. I find this phenomenally interesting for a bunch of reasons: A) it involves chimps; B) it i...
Posted by on Mon, 13 Jul 2009 20:03:00 GMT

Things I Wrote on BART

A lot of people ask me about the vow of awesomeness. Its not surprising. The idea is pretty alien to a lot of people, and the idea of taking a monastic vow between yourself and no particular huma...
Posted by on Sun, 12 Jul 2009 03:58:00 GMT

Atonement

A lot of people believe strongly in the concept of forgiveness. Theres a major world religion centered on the idea. Most people, on some level or another, think that forgiveness is a good idea. ...
Posted by on Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:47:00 GMT