Clifford profile picture

Clifford

Whatever you think, you are sadly mistaken.

About Me

I am so atypical that occasionally I am mistaken for synthetic food products and bolts of exotic cloth.

My Interests

I have the personality of a pet rock that has gone feral, and begun to plague rural citizens with random stonings.

I'd like to meet:

As time goes on, I have come to find that human beings are largely abhorrent.

Music:

I enjoy singing jingles while in the shower. That Oscar Meyer bologna song just gets me so choked up.

Movies:

I enjoy educational films.

Television:

I exist in an eternal simmering rage that there are not yet enough C-SPAN channels.

Books:

Books are made largely of wood. They are excellent for the furnishing of nests, and some can be used to balance warped furniture. Large books are inelegant missiles, but make satisfying impacts on heads. Books are not only important, but border on the inherently good. Reading them, however, can be dangerous. Leave that to the skilled professionals.

Heroes:

Mr. Clean