Dee Custance profile picture

Dee Custance

this isn't how you do cocaine, I'm told

About Me

I'm a stand-up person. I'm also a comedophile. I also draw cartoons. And sometimes I write. And sometimes I do the washing-up. And when I grow up, I'll be disappointed.
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My Interests

things; stuff; etc;

I'd like to meet:

Lee Mead from this Joseph thing...

Music:

yes I have an ipod, please don't judge me based on my music tastes. I feel that would be a misrepresentation, you would find good things in my itunes library but you would also find some real shockers.

Movies:

Pandora's Box is good. Amelie is a whore. Not many people know that, but its true. DVD's I own are Eternal Sunshine, I heart huckabees, Spike Jonez, Chris Cunningham and Michel Gondry, Shaun of the Dead, The Lady Killers (original 1959 Ealing Studios version). La Vie en Rose isn't out on DVD yet, but I'm going to buy it. I mourn the loss of Fopp. I wish Fopp was owned by Jesus, or at least they were pals or something.
Game provided by: Myspace Games

Television:

I threw it out the window. I prefer the radio. I make an exception for 'Most Haunted' because thats hysterically funny, even though its meant to be a serious 'documentary', and also I like most things on Channel 4 except for big brother and all things related. I can't stand 27 Pints of Lager and packet of pork crackling on BBC 3. They show the same epsiode over and over like the Teletubbies did. News - it doesn't get funny the 5th time you air it in a row. Its like Maths 0x5= still 0!! doosch bag!But I like The mighty Boosh, Little Britain, The Daily show, Black Books, green wing, I blame Mony Python for my interest in animation, art & humour. That was on when I was a kid. I blame David Shrigley after that. Right now I blame Sylvain Chomet for my current employment.I blame Dylan Moran for being in a pub once. I blame DO'D ... generally. I blame Andrew Lawrence for hanging out at the Gilded Balloon. I blame Demetri Martin for being too cool for school, and I blame Josie Long for being amazing. What I'm trying to say is... it wasn't me.

Books:

I read. I also have a book shelf and it has books on it. some of them are these.donna tartt's a secret history don delillo's body artist and also white noise nick horby's high fidelity milan kundera's the unbelievable lightness of being will self's how the dead live The phone book the yellow pages various notebooks and sketch booksI don't some much read, but look at the pretty pictures of people like robert crumb

Heroes:

I was tested and this is what they said at the clinic. I am a cat-person. I also don't have herpes, or cat-aids. Which was a relief. results:
You are Catwoman Catwoman 100% Iron Man 80% Robin 80% Spider-Man 70% Wonder Woman 65% Batman 60% The Flash 60% Supergirl 55% Hulk 55% Green Lantern 50% Superman 40% You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society's cast-offs.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

My Blog

crystal bollox

hello loved ones,I had a tonne of fun on my holiday to kill a kenny or two. Some up and coming things... I know this to be true as I saw a fortune teller and this is what she said:I will live a long t...
Posted by Dee Custance on Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:07:00 PST

screaming girl no.1

hellotoday was exciting, it required the most excellent demanding and emotional performance.  today, I made my feature film debut - albeit, they might edit my bit out.  it lasts possibly 6 s...
Posted by Dee Custance on Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:19:00 PST

every 2 weeks

Do you like my new poster? SO thats tomorrow at the Harlequin Cafe, 8pm. we have Q, Kim G, and Dick, plus sweets and games, and BYOB and MAGICxxx...
Posted by Dee Custance on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 01:33:00 PST

misc

misc. I am doing some things.  Mainly being a time lord, travelling forward into the future.  However the whole of the UK has decided to this also so the impact was minimal, (mainly I slept...
Posted by Dee Custance on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 04:53:00 PST

EGG HUNT this sunday afternoon at Brel

Yes you read that right!Lemon Custard this Sunday at 3pm we will be having an egg hunt! as well as some fantastic stand-up, some sweets, games and sketches brought to you by some of the best acts at t...
Posted by Dee Custance on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 07:11:00 PST

camemebert

HellooooSo a wee update in the world of meeee (dia). This week, you can see me, teddy, emma and peter on telly doing our thing on current tv (which is a REAL tv channel, I'll prove it, if you have sk...
Posted by Dee Custance on Thu, 28 Feb 2008 03:17:00 PST

homeless but not hungry enough for haggis

Its burns night tonight, and my local sandwich shop was serving haggis neaps and tatties mmmmmm.... I was taking it back to eat at the studio, all hot with gravy, when a girl on george street stopped ...
Posted by Dee Custance on Fri, 25 Jan 2008 10:45:00 PST

TV bullimic

This past week i think i have watched so much tv that i wish i could throw it all up and flush it down the loo.normally i spend my days on the internet and reading emails, but due to my lack of activi...
Posted by Dee Custance on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 04:58:00 PST

christmas custard blog

I'm really bad at remembering to do social admin like birthday cards, christmas cards and wrapping any kind of present. Although if I do its becasue I do love you and its likely to be a home made num...
Posted by Dee Custance on Sat, 22 Dec 2007 06:47:00 PST

AAARGH! My BB hell!

Ok so a couple of years ago I had an amazing idea for a photography project, which was to photograph people who were in the queue for the open auditions of Big Brother. I travelled all over the UK co...
Posted by Dee Custance on Mon, 05 Nov 2007 03:41:00 PST