Orchidhunter

“The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church”
- Ferdinand Magellan
First we start with attempting to define ourselves in adolescence and early adulthood amongst the bombardment of other's beliefs and labels. Then often we spend the rest of our lives stuck with those labels and beliefs in the pseudo-comfort of stagnation rather than continuing to ask "Who am I?", so while I will attempt to describe myself in this "About Me" section, I must say I don't generally like to label myself as I'm always changing, and, ultimately, the only definition I can accurately give is that I am limitless potential, Nonetheless...
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“The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.” - Dali
"Languesco sole latente (Without the sun, I will languish)"
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Where to start? Where to end?
I'm not your average woman, or for that matter your average human. --- I'm part Scottish, German, Irish (yes I like to get soused on occasion), English, and Native American (Shawnee). My family on both sides has lived in this part of Virginia for generations. This area was inhabited by the Shawnee, then was settled by German immigrants and then the ScotIrish. Each of these groups had opposition between them and I have the blood of all in me. This same blood is in the land I walk upon. I can feel this. I dig the Scottish emblem, the thistle. To me it stands for "armed peace;" I am a pacifist, but can also be militant though I attempt always to be benevolent. To my occasional dismay, I am a living, breathing dichotomy, but I strive for balance and harmony. For a living I work for myself doing eco-friendly landscaping and various forms of art.
I have a strong affinity for the natural world. I spend much of my time out of doors. I wouldn't live in a city, but I could see myself living miles from civilization off the grid. Even so, I appreciate the culture and nightclubbing big cities have to offer and like to visit them often. --- Currently I am working toward a black belt (I test in November!) in Tae Kwon Do (which means "foot" "fist" "right way" or "the art of foot and fist fighting") and Kom Do (Korean swordfighting - "The sword was not meant to be used by the mouth." - Paulo Coehlho); getting a black belt is something I have wanted to do as long as I can remember. I plan to continue my study of martial arts indefinitely. --- I'm very into ceremony, totems, ritual, talismans, and omens. I believe there is more to life than meets the eye. QUESTION REALITY.
I value quality over quantity.
How things are made and what makes people tick intrigues me. I'm always thinking outside the box, hell, I live outside the box.
I work well under pressure.
I would jump at the chance to go to space.
I live in the woods, in the mountains in a ramshackle, wood-heated A-frame with my three cats (Dervish, Calyx, and Fudge), a growing library, and a greenhouse. I like spending time at home and doing things around the house. My home is my sanctuary. --- I love to cook and bake from scratch, especially to serve to others. I've been cooking since I could see over the edge of the stove. My younger sister and I were raised by my Dad since I was five. He's a great father. I am so lucky. He provided me with a strong foundation and then set me free to do my thing. --- I was a tomboy growing up: climbing trees (still do), bringing home snakes, constantly skinning my knees and elbows from bicycling and other rambunctiousness, poking dead things with sticks...I still collect skulls which I find to be masterful pieces of fascinatingly engineered art. It's a good thing I wasn't born in the time of the Inquisition for I'd surely be burned at the stake if they could catch me.
I've always felt more comfortable around guys and have more close male friends than female. I've been told I'm a masculine woman; I like to think I'm balanced. --- If I had to pick my two highest values, I would say truth and freedom. --- I have too many plants to count; often I feel a stronger connection to plants than people (it's that unspoken connection that is the strongest and so many people aren't in touch). I like spending time with myself. I can be a bit of an antisocial hermit, yet at times absolutely love to socialize, my main desire being to keep it real. I can't stand gossiping. --- I'm not opposed to hard work; I like to be physical. I don't understand sloth and am never bored. I love moving my body, being outdoors, and being creative (hence my employment, I decided a while back that I need to do what I love and let the rest fall into place). I do slow down to meditate for grounding and balance which I try to bring into my every moment. --- I'm often covered in dirt or paint, and when I'm not being messy I love fashion from a creative viewpoint. I jump at the chance to wear costume. --- For moral reasons, I'm a vegetarian for the most part, sometimes vegan, except that I occasionally eat humane-certified, organic meat and sustainable, consciously-harvested seafood. I don't want to contribute to the suffering of the other creatures on this earth or with the Great Mother herself. Though I don't consider meat-eating inherently wrong, I do consider our modern-day agricultural practices to be an atrocity. I was a strict vegetarian for almost a decade before I refined my thoughts and habits and realized eating whatever I eat in a conscious manner when and however possible was my real goal. ---
I'm a do-it-yourselfer, love learning new things, brainstorming, and problem-solving. If I can possibly do-it-myself then I do. The things that hold me back are: physical strength (I'm continually working on this one, but a woman can only be so strong), bull-shit bureaucracy (I won't even go there right now, there's no end), my fear of heights (I'm trying to work on this one too), and time limits. I'm constantly prioritizing my life. Life is short and I want to live it to the fullest doing what really matters, something I ask myself often. --- "
Only when one is ready to peer into the darkness will they be given the gift of the light." - Unknown
I have found that to really enjoy something, anything, it takes moderation; excess or addiction lessons pleasure; something done habitually isn't as scrumptious as doing it occasionally even if that occasion is often. So, a true connoiseur (a pure addict?) doesn't actually partake all the time. ("Thou shalt not carry moderation unto excess." - Arthur Koestler). --- I'm the type that likes to sit with my back to the corner in a restaurant with full view of the doors and what's going on in the room. I am a natural-born leader who rises to the occasion when a crisis or other happening necessitates leadership. I have an uncanny ability to remain fully functioning and level-headed under any circumstance. At the same time, I am also an incredible assistant and take every opportunity to learn from and respect a master. There is something to be learned from everyone. ---
I have recently gotten into watercolouring and am really liking it though you wouldn't know it by my procrastination in painting some pictures. Seems since I attempted to incorporate it into my living, making it something I have to do, I no longer want to do it. But I do so like what I have seen of the dance of water, pigment, and paper. I have much to learn; right now it is unpredictable and, admittedly, I struggle with the frustration. --- I am usually a health nut although sometimes I have beer and a Clif bar or a huge ice cream cone for dinner. --- I have a lead foot; I could never own a sportscar; I'd lose my license. That said, I do limit my speeding while riding my motorcycle and I made an agreement with myself to not ride without my leathers. I ride whenever I can. I love it when we get an unusually warm day in January and I can get my bike out. I have saddlebags so I can get groceries or whatever. No matter what is going on, when I get on my bike and go for a ride I can't help but think "Life is good." I love riding! There is something innately enjoyable about straddling an engine and a fuel tank, balancing on two wheels, and having your attention, your reaction, your ability and luck be the difference between potential life and death; it makes getting from point A to point B an adventure. Someday, I intend to travel this country with an atlas, a tent and a sleeping bag strapped on the back - and maybe those countries south of us - one of the reasons for getting my black belt...
I want to do something important with my life. I've always been drawn to offering therapy of some sort and hope one day to do so. I imagine it will involve horticulture, art, meditation, yoga, and the like. I'm drawn to working with those who are dying so that they may leave this world with a content smile. I'm also drawn to working with people who are incarcerated; we are seriously lacking proper rehabilitation.
Some words I would use to describe myself: Honest, Adroit, Forward, Determined, Fiery, Agile, Methodical, Romantic, Curious, Deep, Articulate, Organized, Resilient, Passionate, Tenacious, Plucky, Meticulous, Philosophical, Dynamic, Cat-like...I am not for sale...I am a poet, a naturalist, an Aunt, a rebel, a Wounded Healer (see: http://realitysandwich.com/wounded_healer),a collector, an instrument of JOY, a psychonaut, a go-getter, an herbalist, a spiritual warrior, a bas bleu, a Cookie Monster, a multi-tasker extraordinare( I love efficiency!).
I like to make things better, the only problem with that being how one determines what is 'better' and whether I have any right to define that for anyone else. --- I live my life, that's what it's for right? "I want to die young at a ripe old age." - Ashley Montagu --- And I'll try most anything once. "He not busy being born is busy dying." - Bob Dylan
Some things others have said about me: "She's either crazy or she's a genius," "You have a beautiful presence," "your house is like your canvas," and out of the blue from a stranger at the grocery store: "You have the patience of a saint," and physically: "legs that don't stop." And in exclamation at having finally figured me out: "You're a maximalist," which I think describes me and my style very well. From which the term "maximalism" was coined. Meaning having the same attention to flow and form as minimalism but to the max in aesthetically pleasing decoration and depth. To which I add: "More is more."
"I get up every morning determined both to change the world and to have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning the day difficult." - E.B. White. --- If you want to know more about me and my bohemian bansheeness or check out some of my poetry, go to my blogs (and their archives)...Below is some of my artwork...
N A M A S T E ...
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The results of a personality trait test I took: calm, secure, anti-authority, rarely irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful.
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