Amy Fister profile picture

Amy Fister

i hate minivans

About Me


it's official. i'm going to be a corporate whore in july in charlotte, north carolina. until then, it's party time.

I'm in a constant state of throwing crap away...which doesn't make sense when I'm moving into a HUGE APARTMENT, bitches.

****I BROKE ANOTHER CELL PHONE. I'm awesome.

for the love of god, I DON'T WANT TO ADD YOUR SHITTY ASS BAND.

this is my awesome intro, credit ruby khan:
Better stock up on lube before answering the door when this Long Island Lolita rings, it's x!—Amy Fister

my video debut bgood's kick ass video with the dames

My Interests

talking shit. old style champagne glasses. ROLLER FUCKING DERBY. coffee. dancing to full-on head exploding goa. gay boyfriends. cocktails. guinness. this is my workout . coffee.

I'd like to meet:

people that "get it"

"An envious heart makes a treacherous ear."

if you own the 'apples to apples' game, i'll be over in 10 minutes.

folks that like this video: how do YOU take it?

Music:

betty blowtorch. Full-on ass kickin' goa. blah blah blah

Movies:

really old movies. movies made by women. and, the usual:hedwig and the angry inch. THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR (1968). bend it like beckham. all about eve. pride and prejudice (the a&e version). empire records. the whale rider. best in show. prey for rock and roll. showgirls. some like it hot. real women have curves. the thin man. so i married an axe murderer. gi jane. spellbound (about the spelling bee). CAMP. underworld. D.E.B.S. harold and maude. anything with parker posey or bette davis in it.

Television:

gilmore girls. PLANET EARTH.

Books:

harry potter; cunt; anything about gender and or gender linguistics; anything about feminism (bell hooks and more); david sedaris = god; sexual life of catherine m; jane sexes it up; the last of the really great whangdoodles; white oleander; catcher in the rye; a tree grows in brooklyn; are you there god? its me margaret; the last unicorn; nerdy sleep books for work...and everything all over again...i'm a re-reader. oh, and of course:

Heroes:

the light at the end of the tunnel

My Blog

GOODBYE BOSTON!

Goodbye Boston...It's been an amazing ~10 years...the good, the bad, the ugly...your mom...My (not so) innocent self quickly jumped from a freshman to a homeless freshman, which then transformed the r...
Posted by Amy Fister on Mon, 25 Jun 2007 07:45:00 PST

Moving Sale!

I am selling my shit before I leave Boston. So far: -3 CD player with remote. Older, but still works! - Small Manhattan Portage backpack - Old Bitch Magazines - are you a collector? Know someone who i...
Posted by Amy Fister on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 11:04:00 PST

i think this is funny

my friend received an extra fleshlight after only ordering 1. my opinion? party. bonus. his opinion: "And, dude, what am I gonna do with two?  If I was a girl and it was a dildo, well, bonus, I'...
Posted by Amy Fister on Thu, 10 Aug 2006 03:36:00 PST

watch out puerto rico...

holy shit.  In 1 week, the whitest girl in the world (that's me, idiot) will be on a plane to PR for the wedding. I can't believe its finally time! Feels like just yesterday that Tara & Sal m...
Posted by Amy Fister on Fri, 23 Jun 2006 06:49:00 PST

way too much f-in perfume

for the love of god.  friends don't let friends wear grannie perfume. and buckets of it. wait. she's not my friend. help. save me.... hold me. it's 3am. only 3 more to go. and then i c...
Posted by Amy Fister on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 12:06:00 PST

south park is amazing

holy crap. south park is amazing. GINGER KIDS?!?! and then, the r.kelly/tom cruise/scientology/trapped in the closet episode. amazing. i think i peed my pants....
Posted by Amy Fister on Fri, 18 Nov 2005 10:14:00 PST

new haircut: revised

it's all about ghetto fabulous-ness and getting your haircut in the airport parking garage, on a curb, behind a car, in a rush to catch my connecting flight. OH YEA bitches, jared worked his genius ag...
Posted by Amy Fister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

i sell vibrators

YAY! I work at Grand Opening! now. You are jealous. I am doing Toy Parties-- you know, tupperware parties but with sex toys. You know you want to host one. They are TOF. Call the store to schedule me...
Posted by Amy Fister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

official word

it's official. i hate my hair cut. where are the scissors?! i'm taking matters into my own hands.
Posted by Amy Fister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

cunts

i had to make this poem thing for my volunteer job...and no one can get enough, so i'm posting it here...i had to turn the cheese factor to high as i was supposed to be over-the-top...enjoy: viva...
Posted by Amy Fister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST