one more fallen angel.
"there is the pretty, and the tragic boy i see..."
i like falling asleep to the rain; walking in it as well, i find the idea romantic. hearing the staccato notes fall against my window brings me comfort.
i like having a nice glass of whiskey to myself alone. and being that quiet reserved person sitting at the bar, standing in the corner.
i like dancing with my eyes closed to focus on the music, the lyrics, and to feel it permiate my soul.
i like staying up all night listening to music, remember the times, the place that i first heard those songs and enjoying the connection i have with them.
--
sometimes the rain makes me sad. lonely. and even the warmest bed, on the coldest night cannot help.
sometimes having a drink by myself isn't what i need. having a drink or tea, complete with a long deep converstation about the casualties of life and the complex nature of people. i like making connections with people. learning about them, who they are, what they enjoy, stand for, likes, dislikes.
sometimes it's the most enjoyable thing to be dancing, and having a group of people, unknown to each other, forming a small circle, all feeling the same thing.
sometimes the music i enjoy, doesn't make feel the happiest.
--
i don't like being alone. going to do something with someone, whether running errands, or taking a walk, is pleasant; this is my life. it's not all sparkles and glitters, every day activities.
i don't like the grey areas of life. i'm black and white. i need to know things on a yes or no basis, tell me what it is, whatever it is. if it might hurt me, tell me now, avoiding the conclusion will only make it worse. if it will make me smile, tell me now, you only have once chance in life. only one time to try things, to say things.
--
i like laughing.
i like smiling.
i like jokes.
i like funny stories about people and what they've done.
i like to see others laugh.
i like making others laugh.
i like to see others smile.
i like making others smile.
i like to tell funny stories of things i've done.
--
i like to read.
i like to write.
i like to watch a sad movie with someone i care about.
i like to watch a funny movie and making eye contact over the punchline.
i like to watch shows about building bridges and buildings.
i like to make my guitar sing.
i like to let my voice resound through my apartment.
--
i miss my friends, john, gerry, mike.
i miss bonnie.
i miss maggie, my dog who will never be replaceable.
and most of all,
i miss paul, my best friend, and the closest thing i'll ever have to a brother.
may he rest in peace. 1981 - 2001.
here's something fun ("comin' home" by hum"):
