Abi profile picture

Abi

I am here for Friends

About Me

I teach the next generation of writers. Having seen their essays, I won't be buying their books.

Now that would be a celebrity wedding worth buying Hello! for:

My Interests

Fresh air; monkeys, cats, sheep (in a pyramid arrangement); music music music; theatre (but not in Leeds); mountains. And I fucking love darts.

I'd like to meet:

& Andy Fordham

And people who like hats.

Music:

PJ Harvey, Khachaturian, Pavement, Andrew Hill, Vaughan Williams, Miles Davis, Smog, Stephen Malkmus, Brahms, The Rachels, Nick Drake, Billie Holiday, Syd Barrett, Cat Power, Debussy, Sonic Youth, Bessie Smith, Mahler, Le Tigre, Frank Zappa, John Fahey, Delibes, Donovan, Copland, The West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band, Beck, Nina Simone, The Velvet Underground, Joni Mitchell, Kimya Dawson, Patti Smith, Leonard Cohen, Britten, Elliott Smith, Up Bustle and Out, New Wet Kojak, Bobby Conn, Gershwin, Silver Jews, Tom Lehrer, Pixies, Devendra Banhart, Dizzy Gillespie, Delius, Fila Brazillia, Dusty Springfield, DJ Food, Bizet, Kruder and Dorfmeister, Girls Against Boys, John Coltrane, Captain Beefheart, Sibelius, Sufjan Stevens, Led Zeppelin, Miss Kittin, Ella Fitzgerald, Bis, The Kinks, George Fisher and his Kit-Cat Band, Howlin' Wolf, Elvis, Boards of Canada....more, more, more.

Movies:

I Shot Andy Warhol, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Morvern Callar, Heathers, Amelie (though needs a different ending), Orlando, Grizzly Man... oh, and I have been a Goony (of course).

Television:

I don't have one... but I did used to like Pigeon Street.

Books:

Caryl Phillips, Andrea Levy, Paul Auster, Jeanette Winterson, Kurt Vonnegut, Toni Morrison, Don Delillo, Diran Adebayo, Gish Jen, Keri Hulme, Jamaica Kincaid, Virginia Woolf, Annie Proulx, Amy Tan, Jackie Kay, Hanif Kureishi, Margaret Atwood, Angela Carter, Maxine Hong Kingston, Haruki Murakami, Derek Walcott, Jacques Derrida (is that wrong?)

Heroes:

Arguably the world's greatest vegetarian

Keep on truckin', Clara


My Blog

Dying to be thin?

With all the media attention on size zero models, has anyone spotted the irony of the posters stuck to the arses of buses all over Leeds at the moment for the following product:Die trim? Really? Did t...
Posted by Abi on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 04:46:00 PST

Why I won't be driving a Ford Zetec

I had the immense joy of travelling on the M1 today behind the most ridiculous of boy-racer cars that I have ever seen. The car was small, black, with a silly exhaust and tinted windows, but it was a ...
Posted by Abi on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:42:00 PST

Yes, monkeys normally wax

There has been very little blogging lately, due to my desire to finish my goddam thesis. However, that little gem is safely lodged with my examiners, so I am free to waste as much time as I want doing...
Posted by Abi on Sat, 23 Sep 2006 02:48:00 PST

And people thought Dolly had problems...

Now, I like sheep and I like cats, but this? This is just wrong. Weirdos......
Posted by Abi on Thu, 13 Jul 2006 10:02:00 PST

A Simple Question

Qu. You are driving on a motorway and realise you are going slightly over the speed limit: what do you do?   If you thought 'brake', then quit driving on fucking motorways, you moron, or quit dri...
Posted by Abi on Sun, 09 Jul 2006 12:30:00 PST

Monkey Box

You pervert. A monkey playing a hurdy-gurdy, though: you can't get much better than that....
Posted by Abi on Wed, 14 Jun 2006 10:15:00 PST

The Face of Porn Man

So, I got home from a party at around 2am today, to find porn guy having a party of his own. And it was loud (of course). I'm grouchy about things like this, so do tend to complain if it's late. I did...
Posted by Abi on Sat, 10 Jun 2006 10:28:00 PST

Multiculturalism or Nostalgia for Imperialism: The Curry Debate

In a quest for snappy quotes on multiculturalism from the internet, I came across www.britainusa.com. I wouldn't especially recommend looking at it - it's not very good. It's full of helpful 'cul...
Posted by Abi on Tue, 06 Jun 2006 10:28:00 PST

Men of Leeds go a-wooing

For those of you that don't have the patience, but equally don't want to miss out on what will be an oh-so-thrilling blog entry, a synopsis: Abi waits for a bus. Skip to the end. Bus arrives.   I...
Posted by Abi on Tue, 30 May 2006 12:22:00 PST