oswald profile picture

oswald

I declare this medium dead. Go do something real. Tools.

About Me

What we need here is a motive. People don't just go out and do things like that beacuse they can get away with them...Only another handfull of nembutols quelled the voice of the inner child.Sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you shoot parking lot atendants.I'm a human being in the prime of several lives. I live, and have always lived in the four states that form the square that keeps the american southwest anchored to the paper maps you've seen. I spend the vast majority of my time ooutside. Sleeping indoors is for the weak. I've given up on communication for awhile. Someday soon I'll walk back into my compusure and articulation, but for a spell I'm going to make mute and aukward look pretty nice. I'm still capable of love, and I still have the strength of charcter to excercise that capability against all rational and prudent knowledge.Rupert Murdoch is watching you.

My Interests

Political campaigns- not politics, PUNISHMENT, emergency medicine, Drinking, Love, paddlesports, literature, lying, substance abuse, drinking, live music, hitchhiking, poetry, gluttony, females, drinking, drinking with females, mountain biking, rafting, hiking, bouldering, climbing, snowboarding, waterskiing, pooping, drinking, uncontrollable muscle spasms, playing fetch, unexpected headbuttings, drinking, driving, friendship, theft, vandalism, self pity, drunk driving, masturbation, discussing bathroom habits, drinking, tricking people into feeding and cleaning up after me, live music, dancing, backpacking, neglectful hygene, poetry, more lying, drinking, marijuana, secondhand botton up shirts, vagrancy, unhappiness, drinking, daydream idealism, unnecessary disrespect, pull-ups, sunsets, swimming, compassion, skin cancer, irrational fear, drinking, internet bullshit, egotism, orgasms, drinking, cuddling, contrition, consternetion, conflagration, persistance, pretending to actually be in love with anything other that the outdoors, photography, blah, blah *life*, LIFE in the absence of regret. (drunk)

I'd like to meet:

Meet people? fuck human interaction. More about me!! I AM THE ARCHANGEL MICHAEL . Single white male. Twenty two years old. "Works" for a "living". Finally home in southwest Colorado. Slowly adjusting to living indoors. Waiting for snow. Sociopath. Recluse. Cynic. Prince. Fop. Hoodlum. Poet. Shit-stain. Messiah. Available for part time employment, full time enjoyment. ****("God is a comedian, performing for an audience that is afraid to laugh"- Voltaire)**** Get away from me you fucking swamp creatures. THERE IS NO PARADISE THAT I CAN NOT CAST YOU FROM . ***It is a crime against humanity to have an inadequite appreciation for the intricacy of the lives that surround your own.*** (would like to meet) -The late Nathan Oswald, Joseph Smith, William S. Burroughs, Dr. Gonzo, Bob Dylan, SWF 18-27, literate, off-beat, attractive, violent, alcoholic acceptable, must be willing to brave paparazzi and write my obituary. No, seriously. G O O D N I G H T , S W E E T P R I N C E

Music:

Acoustic, Violent Femmes, Radiohead, Modest Mouse, Fiona Apple, The Beatles, NIN, Niel Young, Portishead, Natalie Merchant, Cracker, Camper, Rasputina, Bluegrass, String Quartets, Dying Fetus, Drive-by Truckers, Modest fucking Mouse, Type O Negative, Manson, RHCP, RATM, Ani, Leo Kottke, Look at How Trendy I am, Cake, Bush, Led Zep, Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, Massive Attack, Tool(APC), Deftones, Ween, Slayer, White Stripes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Etc. *Anything not dependent on electricity*

Movies:

Blowjobs, instead, please (if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours).

Television:

ruined our lives. The biggest problem with modern western culture. Deceiver, destroyer of the human collective unconscious. Our race used to have an oral tradition, traditions and orations used to be all that we had. Times is a changing. (That glowing box doesn't look like it would fit in your butt, but appearances can be decieving. Take the initiative. Bring something to the table. Shove it up your ass cord first. Or, take the easy way out and correct my spelling errors instead.)

Books:

are the blood that runs through my veins (( Bleached, flattened wood pulp. Glue. Ink. Synapse sparks. Nirvana )) Ed Abbey, John Barth, Kerouac, Ginsberg. Burruoghs, Mailer, Josheph Heller, Saul Bellows, Salinger, KURT VONNEGUT, Tom Robbins, Chuck Palanuik, Robert Hienlien, Voltaire, John Swift, Herman Hesse, etc., poetry, poetry, poetry, and the list goes on ... (read House of Leaves)

Heroes:

Anyone who ferments/distills thier own alcoholic beverages. Also, George W. Bush is my hero. I just about can't wait for the Rapture, and he's the only one I see trying to help Jesus back home. Every day ol' Georgy-poo helps me to feel a little closer to the apocalypse. The rest of you just whine, and pay taxes, and die. The president and I will stand proud and tall (hopefully side by side) on th bloody fields of the armageddon, smiling gloriously and welcoming the LORD home. Who actually owns myspace?

My Blog

Who stole my drill bits?

Please do me a favor, and immediately cease with the whole high powered, low frequency microwave radiowaves aimed at my brain thing... The first tumor was cool but this new one is definitely bigger th...
Posted by oswald on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

real life update

Still hiding in Taos. It's great. Published a small chapbook, msg me an address for a copy. Still "in" love. St. Patty's last day of cooking food at the brewpub. Driving back out to the canyon in AZ ...
Posted by oswald on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 11:40:00 PST

A penalty for your thoughts.

Soon, foolish internet time incinerator, I will return to you...
Posted by oswald on Tue, 03 Oct 2006 06:29:00 PST

drained, utterly

All of my friends are gone. I'm still stuck here. Why?
Posted by oswald on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 07:27:00 PST

Blanket statment, not pillow talk

Attention myspace patrons...  Do not eyeball me, drag me through the mud, or rub shit on my balls.  Failure to comply with these requests will result in me finding you, knocking you to the g...
Posted by oswald on Sat, 22 Jul 2006 06:31:00 PST

It's difficult being the smartest man alive.

I got arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. On my birthday, and I wasn't even drunk (that isn't true). Someone somewhere drink to that.
Posted by oswald on Fri, 07 Jul 2006 08:04:00 PST

June 22

I'm finished.
Posted by oswald on Fri, 23 Jun 2006 07:02:00 PST

Oswald Update

So then internet friends (dare I call you that), I can only hope that you all appreciate my continued silence.  Been back in Moab, Utah for the summer, working for Oars (oars.com).  Sweating...
Posted by oswald on Fri, 26 May 2006 12:00:00 PST

Issue Oswald a / sidearm he will establish / frontier justice laws

I'm really kinda over this. I need to break a leg or something.  This might be fun if I was bed ridden
Posted by oswald on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 09:46:00 PST

To drunk to write a haiku for the title (empty excuses).

It's three a.m.. Emperor Stinknuts just got dropped of at home. He was at an ego party with lots of inebriation and yelling. It was a shitty, C- kind of party, but it paid the bill for a thursday nigh...
Posted by oswald on Fri, 24 Feb 2006 02:30:00 PST