Bland profile picture

Bland

Say yes when nobody asked.

About Me



I am Lord Ormus, Master of Weights, The Field Marshall and the Budweiser Logo. We should talk if you know what any of that means.

Pretty good chance I am smarter, stronger and sexier than you.

My Interests

Conan the Barbarian, A.O. Spare, pink things, dental insurance, Bruce Lee, bourbon, books, blankets, and honing my ability to alienate people I care about.

Lately - the gin martini, zippo lighters, that girl I met in the Saloon, campari, expensive socks, and nail clippers.

I'd like to meet:


*People that are at least 7 ft tall.

*100 watt+ light bulbs.

*The beamish boy that killed the snark.

*Nadiuska.

*Blue/green eyed, black haired women.

*The Fucker that smashed a bottle on my head.

*Ms. Goodwin

Music:

The Jesus Lizard

Tiny Tim

The Birthday Party

Flipper

Johnny Cash

Man into Wolf

High on Fire

The Melvins

Tad

Merle Haggard

DAC

Karp

Unsane

Movies:


If You Live, Shoot!, Conan the Barbarian, Lenny, Paris Texas, Taurobolium.

Television:

In Portland you lose most of your club memberships, friends and your job if you admit to liking television.

In LA it seems to be excused because everybody here is, or hopes to be, in 'the industry' and uses that as an excuse to watch tons of TV.

I didn't watch much TV in San Francisco.

Books:

Mental Influence, The Hunting of the Snark, The 48 Laws of Power, The Prince, Man into Wolf, The Fountainhead, The Stranger, Will, TheRedneck Manifesto, My Wicked Ways, My America, Your America

Heroes:

Conan The Barbarian, Errol Flynn, Ted Falconi, Lawrence Welk, G. Gordon Liddy, Chester A. Arthur

My Blog

Humbled and Amazed - The most exciting blog I have ever written.

Why, How, and When I was humbled - I was hungry this afternoon.  (That sort of thing happens to me periodically).  My choices were limited - a.  Chili.  Said chili was provided by ...
Posted by Bland on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 01:01:00 PST

Knife Fighters and Credit Card Thieves

Memorial Day Monday, May 28 2007 - Or . . . Night of the Short Knives! Or . . . Ice Picks, Razors, And knives, Oh My! The Players -Us:KADIM - A well dressed and...
Posted by Bland on Fri, 05 Oct 2007 11:07:00 PST

3 Times Around the World in 22 Days, Surely a Record!!!

Thrice, in mid to late 2007, I went around the world.  I accomplished this great feat whilst never leaving San Francisco, CA.I AM FUCKING AMAZING!!!The first trip - While working at Capurro's I w...
Posted by Bland on Fri, 05 Oct 2007 02:48:00 PST

You Have a Long Walk, Lee

Good thing you have those boots.Lee Hazelwood: 1929-2007 by Staff | 08.06.2007Lee Hazlewood has died at the age of 78 after a three year struggle with renal cancer. A songwriter, singer, and producer ...
Posted by Bland on Fri, 05 Oct 2007 10:34:00 PST

Wrong 'AB', Correct 'J?'

'AB',  I think ego is a horrible and ugly thing to cultivate.  It is a shame.  I was a little harsh the other night, but I hope it will illuminate in the long run.  (Tough being th...
Posted by Bland on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 09:54:00 PST

98%

My cat has been stolen from me.  He, Conan, is now a POW.  (I will not forget!)  Once or twice my heart, also, has been purloined.  I would prefer to forget those inciden...
Posted by Bland on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 11:07:00 PST

This Makes Two

"All say, "How hard it is that we have to die" - a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live."  ~Mark TwainI used to have a book that was signed by him, signed&nbs...
Posted by Bland on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 01:56:00 PST

Update

I sleep on a couch in Venice Beach, California.  Job?  Nope.Join the Army?  Tried.At this moment - I am out of smokes.A Polish woman wants me to marry her.The only thing I got for my bi...
Posted by Bland on Mon, 30 Oct 2006 12:23:00 PST

Crack Cocaine, Black Man, Science Teacher, Bourbon

I got home from work at the usual time.  Since I work in a bar on the weekend that means around 2:30.  There is a girl that lives near me and sometimes I go to her window late at night and w...
Posted by Bland on Sat, 09 Sep 2006 02:02:00 PST

Italians

I live with an Italian. He snores and is smelly. He doesn't drink '"in public" and takes about three weeks to finish a bottle of wine. He speaks a bunch of languages, "Americans are like cows, they ha...
Posted by Bland on Sat, 09 Sep 2006 01:26:00 PST