Sa

I have walked away from Christianity having been one for most of my life.
There is so much comfort in blind faith - to reach for something beyond our present state of existence, to have a devil to blame and a God to make it all better is comforting.
I don't like blind faith. I prefer logic and reason. I prefer reality. Reality is that this universe is incredible, that science continues to educate us.
Reality is that love and acceptance are basic principles that many Christians struggle with.
At a very young age I mastered the art of letting go, the strength to walk away from people or situations that hurt me.
There is freedom in turning it all off like a switch.There is beauty and freedom in letting go.
You release it, you walk away and you never look back. It is how you evolve and grow and grow.
I absolutely detest evil. I detest cruelty for the sake of cruelty. I do however understand the dark side of human nature. We all have it, whether suppressed, ignored or embraced it is there.
It is our dark side that drives our fears and obsessions. Our constraints, our convictions, our religions tend to be fueled by the dark side of human nature and our fear of it.
Ever wonder what your dark side reveals about you? Surely it is you who formed, carried and gave life to it. And it is you who chooses to suppress it or embrace it.
Wouldn't it be great if the inner presence many of us keep locked behind facades just presented itself to the world no matter what?
Wonder why humans tend to feel the need to create layers around the core essence of who we are?
Is it a need for acceptance, a need to conform or unify with the tiny sub-worlds we thrive in and fight through? Is it a need to make others feel comfortable with their expectations of us?
Some of us become so comfortable in our facades that we have no idea who we really are.
Or some of us constantly strive to create a new 'self'. We kill off our personalities, our quirks, our gifts, all the things that make us who we are. We kill off, bury and create new 'selves'.
I know people who do this continuously. Subsequently there is always confusion or overlapping...and that feeling of displacement.
Why not develop the greatest parts of yourself. The rest will follow suit. The weaknesses and negatives will die out naturally.
Isn't it odd how some of us have brains that keep secrets from ourselves? How many people have to sit in hypnotic therapy in an attempt to pry secrets from their own minds.
Some of us have minds that just instinctively protect us. Some memories are better not remembered anyway. But then there are emotional and sensoral memories. Someone touches you a certain way and it feels oddly familiar, a certain scent upsets you by triggering some weird and familiar emotion and you have no idea why.
The human mind and body can be so interesting like that. We all keep secrets from ourselves I am sure. Either our minds protect us, or we lie to ourselves until we are convinced.
There isn't much freedom in that.
Or everything I've said above could be utter and complete nonsense. Hey, I'm obviously no psych expert. I just like to have fun and am comfortable with my place in the world.
I don't have all the answers and I never pretend to.
Sometimes I'm too negative
Sometimes I'm too playful
Sometimes I'm too serious
Sometimes I'm too frivolous
I like to be alone with my music and my books and don't usually like people talking to me.
I like coffee and chocolate and lingerie though I never wear them and glossy cookbooks though I never cook out of them.
I am fair and kind-hearted but am easily annoyed and have no patience.
I like lasagne and the color blue and big cats and crazy people and poetry and literature and photography.
I love people who are open-minded and are comfortable embracing all our strange and wild sides.
I am insanely attracted to mad and brilliant individuals who are very grounded, in control and a little eccentric.
I like to dance to music videos and tunnel through my mind and explore the universe and research the ancestry of mankind and play tricks on people and drive around listening to music and planning new beginnings and laughing.
I like to laugh and I like to be free.
Freedom is my drug.