OK, let's get this over with quickly - get to the meat, as it were.
* Man, although typical FHM-reading male pursuits such as football and promiscuity can suck my balls, and I've never sent a PM asking for 'cyb0r'.
* Geek, although I wash and have social skills, wit and charm. I've had more computers than I've had girlfriends, AND I'D DO IT ALL AGAIN I TELL YOU.
* Revolutionary (as in Castro, not as in awesome), although I've never owned a poster of Che Guevara and my MP has stopped replying to my mail.
* Awesome, although prone to grumpiness.
* Eccentric, in a loveable and kooky kinda way.
* Great big hippie, I recycle, don't use my car and deliberately don't heat my flat in order to reduce my carbon footprint, and YOU SHOULD TOO.
* Film and Music geek, although if it was made before 1989, I know nothing about it.
* Paranoid, I'm convinced we're shambling toward an Orwellian future and refuse to use store loyalty and government-issue ID cards, in case the government catch me trying to buy ingredients for bombs.
* Gentlemanly, I keep doors open for ladies and introduce myself by kissing on the hand, like some kind of crazy 18th century pervert.
* Occasionally sports longish hair, since I've no-one to show myself off to, and I like to get my moneys worth out of my barber.
* Obsessed with deserts. Don't know why. Did a road trip around California, Nevada and Arizona and fell in love.
How come everyone is in my Extended Network?
I'm a turbo-charged hyperactive loveable geek-next-door with mad crimefighting skills and musical tendencies (no-one can play the drums better than me (100% FACT) and no-one can play the bass quite like me (n.b. this is probably a good thing)).
Both profane and polite, boisterous and introspective, I come to put the art in party.
During the day I save the world using artificial intelligence and C++, during the night I use my environmentalist superhero skills to fight injustice and Conservatives - and kick it, Reynolds style.