Inigo profile picture

Inigo

About Me

My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man.

He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done.The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused.Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart.I loved my father, so, naturally, challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. The six-fingered man did leave me alive with the six-fingered sword, but he gave me these scars.I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing.So the next time we met, I did not fail. I went up to the six-fingered man and said, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."He offered me money, power...anything I wanted which he could give me, he offered in exchange for his wretched life.I told him, "I want my father back, you son of a bitch!" and cut him down where he stood.You know, it's very strange -- I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.While Wesley, who had been filling the role of the Dread Pirate Roberts, offered me that position, I am thinking of a simpler life.Although my father was a great swordmaker, and I am tempted to follow that career path, it is a bit late in life for me. I have always loved tapas, so perhaps I will open a small tapateria, for starters.If anyone knows of a good tapas chef, financier, and quality wine distributor with competitive pricing, please let me know. (I would particularly be interested in a good connection for Rioja, as I anticipate Sangria would be a big seller.)

My Interests

Swordfighting, booze, wine, beer, tapas, leather vests, and bawdy tales of stirring ribaldry. I also like studying my Agrippa.

I'd like to meet:

Now that the six-fingered man is six-feet under, I am interested in meeting other people like me: people with vendettas, alcoholics, swordsmen, and particularly alcoholic swordsmen with vendettas. Also, now that my quest is over, I finally have time to get reacquainted with the ladies. (Fezzik has asked that I add his request for any tips on good singles spots for meeting giantesses or female ogres.)

Music:

The Gypsy Kings, Vivaldi's mandolin concerti, Corey Hart and Journey are among my faves, in particular "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Never Surrender."

Movies:

The Princess Bride. Caddyshack. Anything Hitchcock with Cary Grant.

Television:

I don't watch it.

Books:

I'm currently reading a Calvin and Hobbes treasury.

Heroes:

Dr. Richard Kimball; The Count of Monte Cristo; Andy DuFresne.