FOPE consider Take That legal action |
The members of Fist of Pure Emotion would like to bring to the attention of the world the fact that Take That, the 90s boy band, have reformed! Looking remarkably fresh for their combined 193 years, t...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 05:59:00 PST |
Chapter vs The Hoff: Who Gets Cuba? |
Still stung by losing out on the Berlin Wall gig to arch-rival David Hasselhoff, Tony Chapter is eagerly awaiting news of the further deterioration of Fidel Castro. "I've got it all...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 03:02:00 PST |
Zucchini in Titfer Trouble Again |
Willie Zucchini became embroiled in yet another hat fight yesterday when trying to remove the pretentious titfer sported by that twit who sings with Orson. Having been involved in a 'spontaneous backs...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Tue, 01 Aug 2006 02:22:00 PST |
Marrow's Consciousness Altered by Trip |
FOPE bassist Dave Marrow has just returned from a fact-finding tour of Africa ahead of the gigantic Fist Aid concert planned for later this summer at Hemel Hempstead Barfly. Marrow was unable to divul...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Thu, 01 Jun 2006 01:32:00 PST |
Bad Ad Makes FOPE Sad |
A disastrous advertising campaign has been cited as the reason for FOPE's plummeting CD sales. Vocalist Tony Chapter criticised 'poor market research leading to faulty demographic targetting' wh...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Sun, 21 May 2006 05:19:00 PST |
Cowell Threat to Get Randy in Court |
There was chaos in court yesterday as Randy Chegwin refused to give evidence without being protected by a glass cage 'like the ones in the mafia trials'. Chegwin claimed he needed the screens to prote...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Mon, 15 May 2006 02:42:00 PST |
Disaster Victims Rescued by Fist CD |
The entire proceeds of FOPE's next single will be donated to a fund to help the victims of a recent disaster. However, the release of the single is being delayed while the band wait for a suitab...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Sun, 07 May 2006 05:39:00 PST |
Cowell Found Alive in Chegwin's Shed |
High-waisted professional bastard Simon Cowell was today found alive and well in a small garden shed owned by nutcase drummer Randy Chegwin. The manic egotist had apparently been imprisoned by Chegwin...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Thu, 04 May 2006 12:31:00 PST |
Snubbed Marrow Rocks On |
Dave Marrow claimed a spiritual link with George Harrison last night when it was revealed that Tony Chapter and Willie Zucchini had turned down over sixty of his songs and he was now considering a sol...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Mon, 01 May 2006 01:50:00 PST |
Foetuses Threaten Fist's US Tour |
Recently-formed pressure group Christian Foetuses For a Free America have threatened to scupper a US tour by FOPE after detecting satanist messages in one of the group's songs. CFFAFA spokeswoman Eile...
Posted by fist of pure emotion on Sat, 29 Apr 2006 02:42:00 PST |
