Oscar The Dog

Hello! Woof!I am Oscar the dog. Many of you may know me as Susie and Jeff Greene's dog. I came into their lives during one of Jeff and Susie's break-ups. Susie did not feel safe living alone with Sammy and she wanted a dog around the house to protect them. So she got me - a professionally-trained German Shepherd. I was trained by firemen to be corpse-sniffing dog so I am very, very smart. Anyway, she and Jeff reconciled and now the big man is in my life, too. At first, Jeff was so allergic to me, he couldn't live around me and that made me sad. For only a few hours I belonged to this other family - the Braudys (they had two very nice children who were very nice to me) - but then I was back with the Greenes again. It was a very confusing afternoon for me. I'm still not sure what happened. Oh, I have to mention one more thing. Jeff has a friend named Larry. He's a skinny bald guy who runs around causing trouble all the time. I don't like Larry. For one thing, Larry gets far too excited when I go near him, if you know what I mean. He's also tried to kill me a few times: Once, he gave precise directions to the Greene home to a Korean man suspected of enjoying dog meat. That's practically ordering an Oscar hit! What was that all about? Oh yeah, and he tried to run over me once with his little silver Prius, too. Him and Jeff tried to pretend that the incident never happened and didn't even bother taking me to the vet. They were too interested in finishing their 'Girls Gone Wild' video, those idiots. Thank goodness Susie is on top of these types of things and she managed to discover I was sick and seek me treatment. It was a very nice, wise Native American shaman who connected with my inner Oscar spirit that healed me. He was incredible. His name was Wandering Bear. Once I felt better, the very first thing I did was chase that Larry guy out the house and down the street. That idiot!What else? I love doing dog things. Sniffing is a particular favorite of mine considering my training. I sniffed out a bra underneath a concrete restaurant floor once. How's that for a good sniffer?