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Endoplasmic Reticulum

We won't stop 'til we're presidents of the world.

About Me


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Endo Style:


ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER ER EREndoplasmic Reticulum God
Endoplasmic Reticulum can cure cancer with their tears. Too bad they have never cried.
Endoplasmic Reticulum do not sleep. They wait.
Endoplasmic Reticulum do not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Endoplasmic Reticulum go killing.
Endoplasmic Reticulum once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Endoplasmic Reticulum.
Endoplasmic Reticulum were once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Endoplasmic Reticulum don't read books. They stare them down until they gets the information they want.
Endoplasmic Reticulum has counted to infinity - twice.
The chief export of Endoplasmic Reticulum is pain.
Endoplasmic Reticulum can speak braille.
If Endoplasmic Reticulum is late, time better slow the fuck down.
If you can seeEndoplasmic Reticulum, they can see you. If you can't see Endoplasmic Reticulum you may be only seconds away from death.
Endoplasmic Reticulum sleep with a night light. Not because Endoplasmic Reticulum is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Endoplasmic Reticulum.
Endoplasmic Reticulum frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never their own.
Endoplasmic Reticulum sold their souls to the devil for their rugged good looks and unparalleled rock n roll ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Endoplasmic Reticulum roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took their souls back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Endoplasmic Reticulum , Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Endoplasmic Reticulum, who reply with, "I believe... you are sitting in our seat."
Endoplasmic Reticulum puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
A blind man once stepped on Endoplasmic Reticulum's shoes. Endoplasmic Reticulum replied, "Don't you know who we are? We're Endoplasmic Reticulum!" The mere mention of their name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Endoplasmic Reticulum.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Endoplasmic Reticulum's fists.
Endoplasmic Reticulum died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell them.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Endoplasmic Reticulum can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck they want.
Geico saved 15% by switching to Endoplasmic Reticulum.
Most men are OK with their wives fantasizing about Endoplasmic Reticulum during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
Endoplasmic Reticulum does not know where you live, but they know where you will die.
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Endoplasmic Reticulum got awards for masturbating in public.
When Endoplasmic Reticulum sends in their taxes, they sends blank forms and includes only a photo of the band, crouched and ready to attack. Endoplasmic Reticulum has not had to pay taxes ever.
Endoplasmic Reticulum once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. They spent the first 45 minutes having sex with their waitress.
Endoplasmic Reticulum is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for their left and right legs.
We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Endoplasmic Reticulum doesn't believe in magic.
At birth, Endoplasmic Reticulum came out feet first so they could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Endoplasmic Reticulum but Endoplasmic Reticulum.
Endoplasmic Reticulum is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Endo claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for their penises.
Endoplasmic Reticulum once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Endoplasmic Reticulum" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
Superman owns a pair of Endoplasmic Reticulum pajamas.
They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Endoplasmic Reticulum. They don't have to.
Endoplasmic Reticulum ends every relationship with "Its not us, its you".
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Endoplasmic Reticulum and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Endoplasmic Reticulum can divide by zero.
Endoplasmic Reticulum owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped them win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite them holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green ..4 card from the game UNO.
Whenever Endoplasmic Reticulum 's wives ask them nicely to do the dishes, they throws the dishes in the garbage and tell their wives they looks fat.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Endoplasmic Reticulum.
Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Endoplasmic Reticulum enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.
When Endoplasmic Reticulum exercises, the machines get stronger.
Endoplasmic Reticulum clogs the toilet even when they piss.
Endoplasmic Reticulum can slam revolving doors.
Endoplasmic Reticulum does not teabag the ladies. They potato-sack them.
The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Endoplasmic Reticulum" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".
Endoplasmic Reticulum's cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Endoplasmic Reticulum frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so they can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.
If you come home to find Endoplasmic Reticulum doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case they get thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.
When Endoplasmic Reticulum laugh too hard while drinking milk, they accidently shit a cow.
In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Endoplasmic Reticulum.
When Endoplasmic Reticulum was in middle school, their English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Endoplasmic Reticulum received "A+'s" for writing only the words "Endoplasmic Reticulum" and promptly turning in the papers.
Endoplasmic Reticulum never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.
Endoplasmic Reticulum are not hung like horses... horses are hung like Endoplasmic Reticulum
Endoplasmic Reticulum got in touch with their feminine side, and promptly got it pregnant.
Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Endoplasmic Reticulum open you would find another Endoplasmic Reticulum inside, only smaller and angrier.
Endoplasmic Reticulum's sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate women.
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into someone from Endoplasmic Reticulum.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Endoplasmic Reticulum says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
Endoplasmic Reticulum doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. Their erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.
Endoplasmic Reticulum were sending emails one day, when they realized that it would be faster to run.
Endoplasmic Reticulum once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.
Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Endoplasmic Reticulum so they can scare the shit out of them.
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Endoplasmic Reticulum .
Endoplasmic Reticulum uses Viagra eyedrops so they can look hard.
Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows Endoplasmic Reticulum is watching.
Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Endoplasmic Reticulum is on yet.
Endoplasmic Reticulum built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Endo met all three bullets with their moustaches, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Oxygen requires Endoplasmic Reticulum to live.
Endoplasmic Reticulum has never had an alcohol problem. However, alcohol has had a Endoplasmic Reticulum problem.
Endoplasmic Reticulum refers to themselves in fourth person.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Endoplasmic Reticulum .
Women never say no to Endoplasmic Reticulum. Even if they don't want to, they know its eventually gonna happen.
Endoplasmic Reticulum once fought a bear simply because it dared to grow more body hair than them.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Endoplasmic Reticulum is going to kill you.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Endoplasmic Reticulum to die off before they attack.
Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. Endoplasmic Reticulum has 7,483.
Endoplasmic Reticulum was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. Their job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Endoplasmic Reticulum."
The first lunar eclipse took place after Endoplasmic Reticulum challenged the sun to a staring contest. Endoplasmic Reticulum always wins.
Endoplasmic Reticulum do not have pubic hair, they have groin moustaches.
Heart disease may be the new leading cause of death in women age 45 to 65, but Endoplasmic Reticulum is still the leading cause of death in men age 0 to 125.
If Endoplasmic Reticulum were Olympic athletes, the Olympics would be canceled. Every four years they would just mail Endoplasmic Reticulum their 237 gold medals.
Bullets dodge Endoplasmic Reticulum.
Endoplasmic Reticulum's hands are the only hands that can beat a royal flush.
Endoplasmic Reticulum does not leave messages. Endoplasmic Reticulum leaves warnings.
Endoplasmic Reticulum once had a near death experience. Needless to say, Death now refuses to come near them.
Endoplasmic Reticulum is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Endoplasmic Reticulum once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Endo the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas
Had any of the members of Endoplasmic Reticulum played "Neo" in "The Matrix" rather than Keanu Reeves, there would have been no need for special effects.
Endoplasmic Reticulum took the Blue Pill and still found out the truth.
Endoplasmic Reticulum lost their virginity before their dads did.
Endoplasmic Reticulum once roundhouse kicked a midget and it burst into 25 gold coins.
Endoplasmic Reticulum's only pick up line is snapping their fingers, pointing at a girl, and then pointing to their bulges. Endoplasmic Reticulum get it all the time.
Endoplasmic Reticulum doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Endo.
Every time Endoplasmic Reticulum smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Endo only smile after they kill someone.
Endoplasmic Reticulum thought Arnold's movie "Commando" was lacking in senseless killings.
When Endoplasmic Reticulum does push ups, they don't push themselves up, they push the Earth down.
When Endoplasmic Reticulum purchase anything, they don't pay in money, they pay in death.
On April Fools of 1986, Endoplasmic Reticulum pranked the United States by killing everyone in the state of Minnesota.
Endoplasmic Reticulum speak in 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound.
There once was a man from Nantucket. Endoplasmic Reticulum roundhouse kicked the shit out of him for living in a place with such a stupid name.
Endoplasmic Reticulum do not bleed red, because red is the colour of Communism.
Hitler killed himself because he was afraid of Endoplasmic Reticulum.
Contrary to popular belief, Endoplasmic Reticulum did not learn to play music. They merely rediscovered the ancient, forgotten art of Endoplasmic Reticulum.
Saying the words 'Endoplasmic Reticulum' is the actual Arabic for 'I'm fucked'.
Endoplasmic Reticulum once called a news conference to announce their retirement. They then said, "Pysch!" and killed twelve reporters.
Endoplasmic Reticulum once decided to do some meditation to see what it was like. They meditated from 1917 until 1989, which explains how Communism happened. When they woke up, they cocked their eyebrows and the Berlin Wall came down.
Bad things only happen to good people when a member of Endoplasmic Reticulum is having sex.
Endoplasmic Reticulum can speak braille.
The dinosaurs looked the wrong way at Endoplasmic Reticulum, once. Once.

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Member Since: 3/23/2006
Influences: Pavement, Dinosaur Jr., Ween, Sonic Youth, Wu-Tang Clan, Weezer, Beatles, Guns N Roses
Type of Label: None

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Loyal disciples of the ENDO ARMY...

...join us in our quest to RULE THE WORLD!!! Spread the word disease...the disease known only as Endoplasmic Reticulum! TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW! blog about us, write bulletins about us, send our links ...
Posted by Endoplasmic Reticulum on Fri, 24 Mar 2006 01:36:00 PST