Ryan Motts profile picture

Ryan Motts

We all came from atom.--me

About Me


i am dream. i am mash up. i am paper mached from everyone i have ever loved, hated. i am every 80’s sitcom theme song, sung with all my might. i am fortune cookie with infinite long message in every language [including sign and pig latin]. i am brothers. i am best friends. i am Hawaii. i am HI. i am holy shit. i am bitch better have my money. i am Eddie Murphy delirious and Kalapana hurt. i am Miles of Davis. i am solo. i am duet. i am legion. i am legend. i am sam. i am. i aint. i am the sheriff who shot himself. i am george of the jungle minus both george and the jungle. i am lover of getting to 3rd base in church whilst reading Salman Rushdie. i am 8 balls. i am pinata being smashed by dyslexic children with oragami hats. i am nutter butters with soy milk and apostrophes. i am slave. i am master. i am George Clinton’s hair. i am Hillary Clinton’s balls. i am Timothy Leary’s acidity. i am life extension. i am on the other side of the wardrobe. i am the wardrobe. i am 1984. i am 2001 space odyssey. i am 2012: the end of Mayan civilization. i am b.c. i am tomorrow. i am all my troubles seem so far away. i am you might get run over or you might get shot. i am secret lovers. i am hold me now. i am everything is gonna be alright. i am phantom arm with sequenced glove and leprosy. i am never done editing. i am one long sentence of brevity. i am white rabbit. i am green m&m’s. .. i am blue. i am read. i am fshtykliljsnj [thyur nnhgitkk] i am eye. i am vanilla sky. i am pumpkin pie ala moana. i am mexican jesus. i am closed captioned for the fearing impaired. i am Schrödinger’s cat. i am Schrödinger’s cat. I am ö. i am [ ]. i am !!! i am * i am $$$ I AM CAPSLOCK. i am the 3 wise men siamesing each other at the pre-frontal cortex. i am am i? i am standing room only. i am two silver spoons together. i am different stokes. i am home. i am Kevlar. i am cancer support group. i am death valley. i am mama se mama sa mama coo sa. i am rock and roll. i am another dime in the jukebox baby. i am beat street, the king of the beat. i am Cain and unable. i am 8 of the 7 seas. i am time share. i am the easter bunny with a tatoo of naked mother mary smoking a carrot with her legs spread. i am every laugh. i am every penis [with woman envy]. i am silver surfing my self. i am done. i am not I am. i am all pau.
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My Interests


Putting my dog to sleep

70% WATER

breathing.

MEMOIRS of a MENTAL RETARDED.

Love AND Luggage Part 1


chooseourownadventure.com

Dirty Laundry: A gibberish musical


The Dance of Unemployment

AMSTERDAM!! [voted best video of the year in my head]

Guess the TV theme song contest!

My Happy Thanksgiving Fuck you song:

I'd like to meet:



..

THE BRUCE.

CHIO and NE-YO in the morning! [yes, we are both irreplacable, thank you very much]


Music:



bjork, lauryn hill, jill scott, ozomatli, wyclef, J5, sublime, william hung, beck, missy, the weepies, rachael yamagata, tori amos, tenacious d, MJ, pearl jam, erykah badu, live, miles davis, nelly furtado, jason mraz (acoustic stuff), luda, bob marley (obviously), devo (well, mostly the hats), sam cooke, mary j, stevie, Hansen (when I thought they were chicks, obviously), otis redding, the carpenters (Christmas stuff, obviously), metallica, [jack johnson, ernie cruz jr., hapa, willie k, keahi wai, makana, kealoha(hawaii represent!)], ray (c'mon), jaime fox (but only as ray), cindy lauper (but only her one line in we are the world), radiohead, blackstreet, robert johnson, coldplay, red hot chilli peppers, U2, stevie ray vaughn, the Sundays, sade, sneaker pimps, joss stone, uncle cracker (not the famous one, I actually have an Uncle cracker, he can sing some karaoke, woot!), billy holiday, eminem, Alicia keys, nine inch nails, Michael Mcdonald, cranberries, robin Williams in Aladdin, pink floyd, babyface, bob Dylan, Wilson Phillips (well, that one song in harold and kumar--this was like, pre-gastro for carnie)

Movies:


Waking Life

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magnolia, dancer in the dark (warning: may wanna slit wrists), adaptation, napolean dynamite (where I learned to dance--gosh!), natural born killers, I heart huckabees, fight club, waking life (never watched this un-high), vanilla sky, memento, run lola run, mulholland drive, frida (selma hayek makes the uni-brow sexy!), crouching tiger (c'mon, who doesn't wanna bang zhang?), lenny, 25th hour, little miss sunshine, american history x, high fidelity, human nature, confessions of a dangerous mind, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, before sunset, city of God, cider house rules, The princess bride, Hotel Rwanda, kill bill (vol.1&2), matrix, American beauty, swingers, before sunrise, reservoir dogs, Monty Python--holy grail, being john malkovich, trainspotting, Moulin rouge, amelie, three amigos, clerks, Ace Ventura (Pet Detective), true romance, freddy got fingered, baraka, braveheart, a bronx tale, dirty rotten scoundrels, Truman show, clockwork orange, A.I., gattaca, pulp fiction, animatrix, office space, annie hall, good will hunting, antz, boogie nights, jerry Maguire, almost famous, billy elliot, the man who knew too little, battle royale, sin city, me you and everyone we know ))((, snatch (which is also on my favorite foods list)

Television:

tv shows:
house, heroes, real time with bill maher, politically incorrect [before it was incorrectly politicized, obviously] conan, ok, fine, yes, grey's anatomy [c'mon, the fray's montages, who could resist? stop frontin' fellas], inside the actor's studio, whose line is it anyway?, seinfeld, friends, taxi, distraction [remember the game show where you would have to answer questions while having your nipples pinched by car battery cable jumpers? or some shit like that. um, yeah, love that show. not that I've tried the car battery thing. I haven't. i'm just saying. ok, I suppose I WOULD try it for the right amount of money. maybe. talk to me. or for free, but I would be very upset. k bye.] pee wee's playhouse. um, conan. I know I said that. that's how much. conan dude. um, gong show, let's make a deal, ooh, taking it back motts, nice, um, everyone loves raymond, alias, shit, I almost forgot, lost, hello?, hawaii, represent retard, hi, I'm talking to myself, bye.

Books:


extremly loud and incredibly close [jonathan saffron foer--mother fucking genius who is still in his 20's, mother fucking mother fucker!], a heart breaking work of staggering genius [dave eggars], the man who mistook his wife for a hat [oliver sacks], frankenstein [mary shelley, bitch wrote it when she was 18, get down girl, g'head get down], fooled by randomness [nassim taleb-- this book makes you realize how retarded the whole human race is, fun for the whole family!], the selfish gene [richard dawkins], sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs [chuck klosterman], the tipping point/blink [malcom gladwell], notes from underground [fydor dosteyevsky], the picture of dorian gray [oscar wilde], pure drivel [steve martin}, side effects/without feathers [woody allen], how the mind works [stephen pinker], braindroppings [george carlin], the origin of species [charles darwin], [everything by tom robbins], the trouble with being born [e.m. cioran], letters from birmingham jail [martin luther king jr.], [everything from www.theonion.com], the introduction of the screenplay of "being john malkovich" [charlie kauffman-- my all time favorite screenwriter], the bible [I'm totally kidding, stop it-- although the psalms get me horny, obviously], mind wide open [stephen johnson], phantom brain [dr. ramachandran], and yes, I actually must admit, I loved "Memoirs of a geisha" [aurthur golden], the virtue of selfishness [ayn rand], the phantom tollbooth [norton juster-- great for kids and stoners, obviously], surprised by joy [c.s. lewis], the doors of perception [aldous huxley], i, robot [isaac asimov-- even though, yes, I know, the movie was retarded, when isn't it though? ], Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid [Douglas R. Hofstadter-- this book will FUCK you in the mindhole! twice. and then it won't call the next day. I fucking love it], the trial [franz kafka], fuck humanity [the fake book from the movie "human nature", never read it, obviously, but what a great title huh?].

Heroes:



My Blog

Putting my dog to sleep

choose our own adventure dot com...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Fri, 02 May 2008 02:14:00 PST

70% Water

choose our own adventure dot com...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 12:12:00 PST

ice cream

life is ice creamit's meltingrunning down your handyou try to eat it fasteryou get brain freezelife is i screamchoose our own adventure dot com...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Tue, 11 Mar 2008 10:55:00 PST

autobiography

autobiographyby ryan matsumotonever enoughnever enoughnever enoughnever enoughnever enoughmever enoughnever enoughnever enoughnever enoughnever enoughnever enoughnever enoughnever enoughjnever enoughn...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Tue, 11 Mar 2008 09:19:00 PST

breathing.

choose our own adventure dot com...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:12:00 PST

what a lovely day!

choose our own adventure dot com...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:58:00 PST

be gentle.

choose our own adventure dot com...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:57:00 PST

dear pretty lady

choose our own adventure dot com...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:56:00 PST

love song for my sister.

choose our own adventure dot com...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:55:00 PST

i think i love her.

choose our own adventure dot com...
Posted by Ryan Motts on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:53:00 PST