jenn meleana profile picture

jenn meleana

you are a figment of your own imagination -ryan

About Me


"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations."
~Anais Nin
i’m a recovering peace corps volunteer, living in america with my Myspace.com BF and immigrant bulgarian bitch mutt. i appreciate the movie-film borat at a profoundly profound level, in the same way an alien might appreciate watching alien vs. predator.
for the past two and a half years i lived alone in southwestern bulgaria, certain i was happy, because i had no one to make me feel lonely. there was so much peace in that emptiness. now i live in an apartment of an old mansion in philly. i love our orange-walled living space, how it offers faith that stone, dark wood, and cast-iron gothic lighting can live harmoniously with loud, vibrant, manic orange.
(what metaphor?)
i wonder when i will start looking as old as i feel. ryan asks me why i always look so uncomfortable when we get ready to go out, and i am made-up, eyebrows plucked, hair blown-dry. he tells me i am beautiful. still. at that moment i am as far away from beautiful as i have ever been. beautiful was how i felt after a day of climbing in hawaii—legs bruised and bleeding, nails destroyed, a day’s worth of sun, sweat, chalk and dirt settled into my skin. collapsing into my '88 camry, hands too weak to grip the steering wheel, drained and invigorated all at once, laughing at someone teasing someone else, or maybe me, and glancing quickly up into my rearview mirror--there and then was the only beauty i have ever seen in myself.
i am simple. i need music. reading. writing. running. (ryan needs me to need conversation, movies, partying.) i love my crazy mati, my family, my BF. instead of a bedroom, we are creating a genius room/hamper. a room for art, brainstorms, music, words, and dirty clothes. in the living room corner, we switch sides of the floor mattress; it reminds me to not get too comfortable—to wake up every day with a new view of branches and sky, and be happy for that. be happy for love. be happy for orange walls. for genius rooms. for piles of books, read and unread. for inspirations. i love my life so much it scares me. and that’s how it ought to be.
so. i am adapting to quite possibly the best life ever. i remind myself every day to be thankful--any moment i could go, any moment you can lose the life and people you love. i want all my friends to find their greatest happinesses. i want to be able to say this without sarcasm. i have a hard time conveying sincerity. i have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to bring a child into this world. i have a hard time understanding people who only worry about securing their financial, societal, educational, environmental future. i have a hard time with a lot of people. i have a hard time breaking down what i am most afraid of. it is so easy to forget to live today as everything, but luckily i have someone who loves me enough to remind me to live and live and live.
if you want to support our projects in bulgaria:
donate to the day center
(please specify that your donation is for the day center.)
arete youth foundation
my personal website:
jennmeleana.com

My Interests



pumpkin, and all pumpkin derived foods, miso, and all miso derived foods, traveling, communism, worshipping idols and false gods, rock climbing, turbo kickboxing, wandering (in places and in mind), surrealist art and writing, feminist theory (or i was interested, when i was smart), tall black slippers, fruit leather, trail running, doorknob walls at restoration hardware, greeting cards, trader joe's, whole foods, food experiments involving grain, bulgarian street dog psychology, shaking what my mother gave to me, americans and their funny american ways. my favorite liquid substances include: white wine and riesling, chocolate/vanilla/maple syrup soymilk, lychee martinis, mojitos, margaritas, naked juice, mango lassi, banana smoothies, soy chai lattes, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, and warm liquids in general. i'm way into liquids. and i say that without the slightest sexual implications.

I'd like to meet:

flashing jesus.

Music:



fruit bats!, ani difranco, sigur ros, tori amos, joni mitchell, yo la tengo, rachel's, jenny lewis, indigo girls, maria mena, broadcast, beth orton, michele branch, lauryn hill, camera obscura, les nubians, tristan prettyman, sarah mclachlan, feist, ida, bjork, portishead, the decemberists, boards of canada, belle and sebastian, nick drake, beck, iron and wine, jimmy eat world, israel kamakawiwo'ole, the shins, smashing pumpkins, the sundays, elliot smith, jack johnson, innocence mission, blur, coldplay, the killers, bright eyes, coldplay, the postal service, death cab for cutie, phoenix, the beatles, ms. jon soda, ben harper, the be good tanyas, regina spektor, jessica sonner, bjork, jolie holland, and justin timberlake.... and more... i'm always listening. currently loving most and listening incessantly/obsessively to: bjork's new album volta, amy winehouse, american idols, old missy elliott, the pussycat dolls, beyonce, kanye west, and other music i can shake my ghetto booty to.

Movies:


my life without me, lost in translation, amelie, the little mermaid, adaptation, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, me, you, and everyone we know, born into brothels, i heart huckabees, waking life, punch-drunk love, anchorman, pulp fiction, magnolia, run lola run, american beauty, the science of sleep, before sunrise, before sunset, borat, garden state, 49 up, almost famous, napoleon dynamine, memento, annie hall, hotel rwanda, billy elliot, little miss sunshine!!!i also just saw knocked up and laughed my fucking ass off.

Television:


heroes, grey's anatomy, lost, the daily show with jon stewart, arrested development. my shamelessly favorite show that kept me sane in bulgaria: alias. and yes, one day i plan on watching the office as i know it would bring me joy. i also heart sarah silverman and zach galifianakis.

Books:


all-time: the center of winter (marya hornbacher); the bell jar (sylvia plath); extremely loud & incredibly close (jonathan safran foer); beloved (toni morrison); book of disquietude (fernando pessoa); eiger dreams (jon krakauer); the color purple (alice walker); the alchemist (paulo coelho); tuck everlasting (natalie babbitt); fairy tales; one hundred years of solitude (gabriel garcia marquez); interpreter of maladies and the namesake (jhumpa lahiri); ariel (sylvia plath); the wind-up bird chronicle (haruki murakami); you remind me of me and among the missing (dan chaon); succulent wild woman (SARK); middlesex (jeffrey eugenides); i am charlotte simmons (tom wolfe); you are not a stranger here (adam haslett); all moosewood cookbooks (mollie katzen); all roald dahl; we wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families (philip gourevitch); the history of love (nicole krauss); skinny bitch (rory freedman and kim barnouin); and earth from above (yann arthus-bertrand). currently reading: everything that rises: a book of convergences (lawrence weschler); no touch monkey! and other travel lessons learned too late (ayun halliday); cesar's way: the natural, everyday guide to understanding & correcting common dog problems (cesar millan); the children's hospital (chris adrian); how to become a famous writer before you're dead (ariel gore); franny and zooey (j.d. salinger).

Heroes:



this child is my hero. and my fat sister, miranda july, ryan!,
and my really cool ex-boyfriends.