Welcome to The David Xperience...take your pants off
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My best friend and I @ Borgata. 3pm breakfast. Details.
Get Your Own! | View Slideshow
Get Your Own! | View Slideshow
Get Your Own! | View Slideshow
"The human will is an amazing thing...The degree to which we have developed our independent will in our everyday lives is measured by our personal integrity. Integrity is, fundamentally, the value we place on ourselves. It's our ability to make and keep commitments to ourselves, to "walk our talk." It's honor with self. The essence of proactive growth."
Me (on the phone), Marc, and Benjamin arriving in Tennessee. Yeah, we're ballin'.
Waking up caked in foreign fluids, sore in funny places, in a stranger's bedroom, with a monkey, and brandishing a smile that makes a Communist blush.
Get Your Own! | View Slideshow
Any female with rock-bottom self-esteem who's looking for unbridled sex and who speaks English as a seventh language. Oh, and she's gotta have huge tits, a penchant for laughing at anything I say, and be equipped with superior cooking skills. Lastly, she cannot be aware of women's rights. That would fuck everything up. If you can sense the sarcasm, you're hired.
Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com
Custom Friends Space Generator
My Friend Space
I have the Recommended Daily Allowance of friends
www.MrGirth.com -- best clothing online
Kayla Mae - best friend
Lindsay -- my secret
Heather
Nicole -- Las Vegas hottie
Pet - quoting ESPN since 1993
Joelle -- partner in crime
Starr -- stare at your own risk
Alexis -- Greek Goddess of Fuktastic
K-Ron -- Baltimore's finest
Kelli -- my drunken princess
Melissa -- Jersey Shore diva
Melissa -- superstar MUA
Jess -- since 1991
Ry -- total package
Dana -- CT socialite
Star-Gloria
Jen -- Hotlanta hottie
Ebony -- goin' back to Cali
Barbara -- life coach
Wade -- get out of jail free card
Ben -- setting the standard for ballers
Lindsay Luv – sassy and talented
David -- War Eagle
Boo Boo
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I'm Ryan Calhoun's groupie.
Add his MySpace profile.
Download his songs.
Buy his CD.
Bare his children.
ryancalhounmusic.com
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Elderly Anal 7, Life is Beautiful, Elderly Anal 6, Mary Poppins.
Wow.
This is incriminating.
WAITING -- what a funny flick. RENT IT!
Boondock Saints -- this movie rocks!
I like to watch my sister, Jenna, on FOX 45 in BALTIMORE.
Woot Woot!
March Madness, Baby!
I'd rather eat cereal than watch television.
Mine. Coming soon!
My sister, Kayla, is a superb actor. She'll be more famous than me one day. That's perfectly acceptable.
The person who invented ice coffee, wheels on a suitcase and stadium seating at movie theatres. Thank you all so very much!
Dane Cook is one funny fella. I've seen him perform live and he is one animated character.
Tommy: The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy, but we're not buying it. Next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up, I seen it a hundred times.
Ted: But why do they put a guarantee on the box then?
Tommy: Because they know all they solda ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is. Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for right now, for your sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality item from me.
Ted: Hmm. Okay, I'll buy from you.
Tommy: Well I... What?