Gordon Smart's Bizarre

Gordon Smart, the Scotsman of Bizarre at The Sun. Husband of Kate Leishman, brother of Graeme the mullet-sporting Fife dentist and Andrew the sensible one. Son of Carol and Dr Drew.Apathy in politics is a pox threatening the future of our proud country. The solution? Noel Gallagher in No 10...ON TONY BLAIR"It was a big deal, the landslide and all that, and everybody got carried away. We thought it was going to be John F Kennedy and for a year or two it was. Unfortunately for this Labour Government, they are going to be saddled with the Iraq war and nobody can get around that."ON LABOUR"Politics is like football for me. Labour is my team and even if you don't like a striker you don't give up supporting the whole team."ON THE US"Whenever there is a conservative, Bible-waving half-wit ruling in the White House - whether it's Bush, his father or Reagan - there is war."ON BARONESS THATCHER"It annoys me that the biggest political icon from the last 30 years has been Margaret Thatcher, someone who tried to destroy the working class... it freaks me out you know."ON DAVID CAMERON"It's like a songwriter who's eternally ripping off someone else's song and just changing the odd line a little."ON PETE DOHERTY"Pete's always been an absolute gentleman to me and my missus. He's incredibly well-read and he's got a good soul. I tell you what, he needs to wash his hands more, but that's about it."ON FAME"When we started off, we wanted the girls, the cocaine, the fur coats. It wasn't like it was an act; it was almost like working-class people winning the pools. We went bananas.""Next year I hope to get a stalker or two because I don't believe you've arrived until you get a stalker."ON DRUGS"I liked drugs, I was good at them."ON GIVING THEM UP"After you make the decision it is quite easy. And I am quite proud of the fact that I didn't have to check into one of those dodgy clinics."ON 1993-1998"I can hardly remember a thing."ON PLAYING THE GUITAR"I've never considered myself a very good guitarist. I always end up playing the same guitar solo over different songs, and hoping no one will notice."ON RELIGION"I hope we mean more to people than putting money in a church basket. Has God played Knebworth lately?"ON FAME IN AMERICA"I could walk out the hotel and probably stand in the middle of Broadway naked and everyone would go, 'Ah, who's he'?"ON MONEY"I've got everything I want. I could go and buy two of everything now - that just gets boring."ON HAPPINESS"Listen, I've got £87m in the bank. I've got a Rolls Royce. I've got three stalkers. I'm about to go on the board at Manchester City. I'm part of the greatest band in the world. Am I happy with that? No I'm not! I want more!"ON OASIS"We just believe we're the best band in the world. We're not arrogant, that's just a fact."ON LIAM"He is Abbott to my Costello, he is Cannon to my Ball, he is Little to my Large."ON ROBBIE WILLIAMS"He's a fuckin' circus monkey!"ON HIMSELF"I'm not like John Lennon, who thought he was the great Almighty. I just think I'm John Lennon.ON BOOZE"I know I've got Irish blood because I wake up every day with a fuckin' hangover.ON GROWING UP"Once you've been knocked virtually unconscious on the floor by your Dad and you know you're not going to die, you're not afraid of anything.""I was on the verge of saying to my daughter, 'There is no Father Christmas' - I'm looking forward to breaking the news in about two years."ON FATHERHOOD"I'm kind of like most dads. I love kids, but I struggle with the responsibility."ON HIS OLD MAN"As far as I'm concerned, I haven't got a father. He's not a father to me, y'know? I don't respect him in any way whatsoever."ON PHILOSOPHY"Progression is going forwards. Going backwards is regression. Going sideways is just aggression."ON RECEIVING A GONG"It is hard to be modest at times like these so I won't even try... you are all shite."ON PAUL McCARTNEY"Paul McCartney, one of the best songwriters of all time, has only produced manure for the past 25 years."ON KYLIE"Kylie Minogue is just a demonic little idiot as far as I'm concerned. She gets cool dance producers to work with her for some bizarre reason, I don't know why. She doesn't even have a good name. It's a stupid name, Kylie, I just don't get it."ON GEORGE MICHAEL"He's now trying to make social comment, this is the guy who hid who he actually was from the public for 20 years. Now, all of a sudden, he's got something to say about the way of the world. I find it laughable. That's even before you get to the song, which is diabolical."ON WACKO JACKO"I respected him when he was proper artist before he started getting into all this cosmetic surgery shit. When he was in the Jackson Five, he was a genius. Now he's just a fuckin' freak, man."ON HIP HOP"I despise hip hop. Loathe it. Eminem is an idiot and I find 50 Cent the most distasteful character I have ever crossed in my life. I just don't like the dragging women around on dog leads and all that stuff. I'm not fucking having that."ON BRITNEY"'Hit Me Baby One More Time' is a classic tune, but she didn't write it, she just mimed it on telly a few times. I don't get the Britney thing."ON LIVE8Correct me if I am wrong, but are they hoping that one of these guys from the G8 is on a quick 15-minute break at Gleneagles and sees Annie Lennox singing 'Sweet Dreams' and thinks, 'Fuck me, she might have a point there, you know'. It's not going to fucking happen, is it?"ON HIS OWN WORK"'Wonderwall' - that's virtually every bird between the ages of 30 and 36's favourite fucking song... 'Live Forever', in 1993. That changed everything. Before that everything sounded indie."ON THE POSSIBILTY OF LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS"If I saw an alien, I'd tell it to fuck right off because whatever planet he came from they wouldn't have the Beatles or any decent fucking music... I ain't going nowhere with them."Now that is a manifesto. Noel Gallagher - a living legend. We salute you.