Keith - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I play drums and sing in The PB Army.

I am married with a son and a daughter.

I write for various publications, including Metal Maniacs, Toledo Free Press, and blabbermouth.net, where every Monday, I present my honest and educated opinion about the heavy metal releases of the day. In return, I'm often told to eat a dick by sweating, socially inept fanboys.

I sell music, books, retro video games, movies, T-shirts, and anything else that isn't nailed down. I've got websites in the works for all that, and am doing the Ebay and Amazon thing in the meantime. I used to own my own record store, and I will again here shortly.

I have several novels and a standup comedy routine on the back burner - not the one that's been broken since before the last tenant moved in, but the other one, with the tricky igniter that goes out sometimes and needs relit.

I enjoy cooking, death metal, total isolation from the human race, mindless pre-1985 video games, programming in BASIC, cats, traveling, thrift stores, and the endless struggle to quit being a lazy ass and do something constructive for once.

My Interests

Rocking out, getting drunk and making really serious plans I don't remember the next day, writing the first three pages of a lot of really great novels.

I'd like to meet:

those who've been to Paradise, but who have never been to me.

Music:

Yes.

Movies:

The Bella Abzug sex tape.

Television:

That one commercial where the girl is doing the funny thing and then all the people totally bust her doing that funny thing and oh man it's FUNNEEEEEEEE

Books:

Anything Kurt Vonnegut, some Larry McMurtry, Tom Wolfe, and my all time favorite book, Tommy Womack's "Cheese Chronicles." Ask me, I'll tell ya.

Heroes:

"All my heroes, they let me down." - Jonah Jenkins

My Blog

Zig when they zaggin

Woke up in a cloud of stale incense and cig dirt, in an apartment with knocking radiator pipes that clanked just to remind you it was cold. Tried to go back to sleep under a too-thin blanket bro...
Posted by Keith on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 09:46:00 PST

Goombah weedstash boombox blues

Here's how much I won't throw something away.I'm sitting here at five in the morning, trying to convince myself I can get some work done, catch some Z's, feed the baby, and still be out of the house b...
Posted by Keith on Sat, 09 Feb 2008 02:26:00 PST

Defensive speechlessness

Sometimes, when someone says or does something so far off the what-the-fuck-o-meter that no sane reaction will do, the best thing is to do nothing. Seriously. Not every challenge needs answered....
Posted by Keith on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 06:21:00 PST

your favorite writer died

Driving back from the store tonight, I was listening to NPR's "On the Media" program when the voice of the recently-deceased Kurt Vonnegut brought me to tears. They were playing old tape of his ...
Posted by Keith on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 12:03:00 PST

The fans demanded it - Keith's big dumb heart story

Okay, here's what happened. We left for tour on Tuesday, August 29. We played St. Louis, Wichita, and Topeka. None of these were box-office bonanzas, nor were they expected to be ...
Posted by Keith on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 12:40:00 PST

7-9-06

Got up early, got some writing done, and went to the record store to work. It's kind of a bummer because the place is really slow on Sundays, but we always get just enough people in there who re...
Posted by Keith on Mon, 10 Jul 2006 01:05:00 PST

You think you're trouble...

but trouble's in town. And let me assure you, you never WERE no trouble, compared to this trouble. This trouble could make bridges collapse, make mamas drown their babies in hot tubs full ...
Posted by Keith on Sat, 01 Jul 2006 03:09:00 PST

Pete Townshend with the words of wisdom...

With love to my Blabbermouth readers: "I promise you Chat Room people, I cherish you, I depend on you, I love you, I need you, I rely on you, and I never listen to a word you say."...
Posted by Keith on Sun, 25 Jun 2006 02:30:00 PST

I love punctuation...

But apparently Myspace doesn't, and when you cut and paste things from saner realms, like a Microsoft Word document, Myspace gets all Don Marquis on you and pitches a lot of apostrophes, dashes and qu...
Posted by Keith on Thu, 08 Jun 2006 11:01:00 PST

A Viola Case

Written winter 2003 in Concourse E of the Pittsburgh International Airport: A viola case. Thats what it must have been. It was about as large and ungainly as a guitar, but sh...
Posted by Keith on Thu, 08 Jun 2006 10:57:00 PST