Nicki profile picture

Nicki

I am here for Friends

About Me

Some people say i'm wrong but i'm just differently logical. My mother says I should know better and grow up but when i grow up I want to be a pirate or a drag queen. I spend my summers sailing the festivals on the Good Ship Banana with my good friend Lady Banana. We dress up a lot and I have a big box of manky wigs. I like a manky wig. I have recently acquired a penguin suit. I did a lot of dancing in it and got very warm. I now know why penguins don't dance. I am keen to find a way to make a cloak from mackerel skin. They have such beautiful pelts that shimmer. I spend my winters complaining, drinking heavily, putting on parties and writing on people with big fat permanent marker pens to relieve the boredom. I have issues but i'm not considered dangerous despite my fascination with fire. I am, however, often referred to as 'coarse'.

My Interests

pens

I'd like to meet:

Some pirates.. and Chris Morris, preferably together at a village fete getting a reading from Derek Acorah who has managed to channel the spirits of John Peel, Hunter .S. Thompson, and Barry White. Afterwards we would go and buy some lemon drizzle cake from William Shatner, some quiche from Larry David, some midget sausage rolls from Captain Bastard and all go and have a picnic with Dolly Parton, The Butthole Surfers, Cassetteboy, Normal Bob Smith, Ozomatli and The Mighty Boosh. There would also be some fire. And some monkeys.

Music:


Dolly Parton, The Butthole Surfers, Wham, Fingathing, Seth Lakeman, Ozomatli, Buswell, PJ Harvey, Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers, Marilyn Manson when he duets with his manatee, Dr Octagon, Julian Cope/Teardrop Explodes, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Carina Round, Miss Kittin, Depth Charge, DJ Producer, KnifeHandChop, Freestylers, Eat Static, Cornelius, Stanton Warriors, Ministry, Aphex Twin, Panacea, Nine Inch Nails, Crippled Rook, 80's soft rock and anything that upsets the dolphins, especially fairground music and Captain Bastard and stuff that's distorted and crunchy.

Movies:



I don't like to go to the cinema. You can't smoke and the seats are sticky. Drinking brandy and throwing half sucked sweets is fun. Maybe that's why the seats are always sticky. Napoleon Dynamite, Convoy, Studio Ghibli, Brazil, Wicker Man, City of God, Eraserhead, Wizard of Oz, Bubba Ho-Tep, Hellraiser, Time Bandits.

Television:

So wrong but so right.

Books:

Colouring in books and books to write stuff in. Books about monkeys, and tigers. And pirates. And Bear, but I have to say I prefer Looshkin. Comics by Jhonen Vasquez and Roman Dirge. I like the pictures. I can also read books without pictures. I do this a lot.

Heroes:



John Peel, Dolly Parton, Normal Bob Smith (a man who talks much sense), Valmik Thapar and anyone else who saves tigers, Neil Gaiman, David Attenborough, Banksy, The Butthole Surfers, Zebraface, Lenore, Totoro and whoever invented cake and fire.

My Blog

Dolly

I just thought i'd be smug as an ant in a cake shop after closing time by announcing that I have a ticket to see Dolly Parton in London in March. At this very moment it's bloody great being ...
Posted by Nicki on Mon, 15 Jan 2007 02:38:00 PST

Sing Star

Well, call me humbug but i'm bloody glad that's over. I mean, Christmas, what's it all for? It's for the kids and people who really enjoy torturing themselves. I think there's special websites for tha...
Posted by Nicki on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 08:30:00 PST

Bum Clouds

I wrote a blog and nobody cared. I put a small amount of effort into my last writing and nobody even noticed. Well, I feel like telling you all to cock off but you'd probably enjoy it and, quite frank...
Posted by Nicki on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 06:41:00 PST

Idea...

I had an idea. Ok, I was drunk and totally provoked by someone in the pub but pet portraits on pizzas really does seem like a great idea, even after reaching my present state of 'sober' (inverted com...
Posted by Nicki on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 06:30:00 PST