Black market organ harvesting.
A champion risen from the ashes of rock to destroy emo, wipe out the corporate music machine, and return punk to the kids.
People with underbites and other werewolf enthusiasts. Rich old mummies that need a fine young thang (me) to will their fortunes to. Someone who looks exactly like me so I can play "dress up." A reliable work-out partner.
Someone who can discuss the books and movies I find interesting until we're exhausted. Creative consultant for my writing. Free food.
If they didn't sell their soul to the Devil for it I ain't interested.
I illegally download everything because Hollywood keeps screwing me over. If a film deserves both my time and money I'll buy the DVD. Therefore it has EARNED my contribution rather than fooled me into shelling out with misleading advertisement, which is called FRAUD. I have zero faith in the industry controlled "reviews." Most of the crap they're releasing now deserves either my time or my money (if either! and I refuse to blindly hand over both. Need an example? People exhibit A: Lady In The Water. The way I see it Shamylan owes me, and everyone else, for my time on that one. So F the RIAA!!!
Television size is truly the measure of a man. Mine is 52", half the size of my bicep.
You ever heard of the Bible? Yeah? Well fuck you.Chuck Palahniuk convinced me that I should follow my dreams, Brett Easton Ellis blows my mind, J.D. Salinger showed me that I am neither unique nor alone because the problem is as much within as it is without, Camus made me realize that the battle between the individual and society is a complicated matter of fear and groupthink with an objective morality, Kerouac is the only person I've read that knows friendship IS regret for all the things we cannot live up to yet hold ourselves accountable for, O.J. Simpson proved that the truth doesn't matter as long as the words are entertaining, and a slew of others proved to me that if their half-baked philosophies and one dimensional characters can get published mine should buy me an in-ground pool and a Lamborghini to crash into it high on blow.
Eric Cartman, Indiana Jones, Sonny Barger, Evil Knivel, Tyler Durden, Wolverine, Phineas Gage,