Alphonse Le Grand Bear profile picture

Alphonse Le Grand Bear

I am here for Friends

About Me

Seasons Greetings from Alphonse and the Toys. Click here!


Alphonse Le Grand bear
Came from France
Said he’d seen the Can Can
Seen the ladies knickers
Eaten snails with garlic
Drunk the best champagne
in a cafe in gay Paris

When the other toys said yes
Alphonse would say ‘oui’

Wee, said Brown Bear?
How rude

Mais oui, replied Alphonse
I am a rude bear
I am Alphonse Le Grand
And now will I live here for a while
With you my friend
In a big box full of dolls
Who wear no clothes
And show me their titties

I say steady on old chap, said Spotty Dog
That’s very rude

Mais oui, said Alphonse Le Grand
It is very rude
C’est magnifique.

© N Turner

www.alphonselegrandbear.co.uk

My Interests

Looking out the window (he never explains why but the consensus of opinion is that he is really looking out for tits as he is an avid ornitholigist....), dictating poetry, being rude, reading poetry, being rude, French films, ragdolls, being rude, theology, gambling, drinking French brandy, being rude, philosophical debate, being rude, eating grilled sardines (although he would have you believe his favourite food is oysters), being rude....

I'd like to meet:

CS Lewis, Dr Frank N Furter, Nelson Mandela, Gérard Depardieu and that great French philosopher Peppi Le Pui......

Music:

'Je Ne Regret Rien' by Edith Piaf 'Nevermind' Lee Rogers 'Long Gone days' Lee Rogers 'Prince Igor' Borodin 'Time Burns' Zhel 'Save the Children' Marvin Gaye 'The Last Time I Saw Richard' Joni Mitchell 'You're Not' Boz Scaggs 'Wonderous' by Airbiscuit 'Fiore Del Deserto' Giangi Sainato 'I Was Thinking Of You' Maighread Neligan 'Forgiveness' Don Henley 'Tracey' Prince 'Red Rose' Lee Rogers

Movies:

Jean De Florette and Manon De Source, Cinema Paradiso, La Vita e Bella, The Godfather, As Good As It Gets, Thelma And Louise, Amarcord, Bladerunner, Black Cat White Cat, Tea With Mussolini, Angel Heart, Dog Day Afternoon, Willow.

Television:

Alphonse is not a great telly addict (unless there happens to be some obscure French film on or anything about bears or the Soprano's)

Books:

Iron In the Soul by Jean Paul Satre (dont think hes actually read it). The Great Divorce by CS Lewis - say's it changed his life. Archie and Mehitable by Don Marquis - never was there a greater free verse poet cockroach, all the Don Camillo books by Giovanni Guareschi, all the plays of Eduardo di Phillipo, Book Of The Dun Cow (can't remeber who wrote it), The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night by Mark Haddon, Most things by Nick Hornby, The Rhyme Of The Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Under Milk Wood by Dylan Thomas, millions of poetry books, . (Sorry about that - he's a pompous bastard when it comes to books - I doubt if he's ever really read any of them but it is his site, I can do nothing about it. Best. Nicolettex)

Heroes:

Napolean Bonaparte, Jean Paul Satre, Delaquin the minstrel Panda (aka Lee Rogers), Gandi, Tony Soprano, Olivia (Tony's mother - the most fierce of all bears), Emma Thompson, Dame Judy Dench, Maggie Smith, Don Marquis, Edward Lear, ....

My Blog

Message to artists/musicians from Nicolette

Hi to all Alphonse friends, I know he's put his own blogs up - please excuse any rantings! Yes we have just come back from Toronto for NXNE with Lee Rogers (that's Lee Rogers not delaquin the panda) a...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Sun, 25 Jun 2006 02:52:00 PST

Dr Enreb On The Road To Damascus

One dayWhat seemed to beA confused camel wandered into the toy boxWhich caused Sabre the tiger, who mostly sleptTo wake up.Dr Enreb, he growled warilyWhat brings you here?I'm on my way to Damascus, ex...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Sun, 14 May 2006 03:50:00 PST

Alphonse And The Sopranos

Alphonse Le Grand BearRarely watched the swanky televisionThat Nico had bought the toys for ChristmasThe exception to this being The SopranosVeronica had introduced him to The Sopranos One gloomy Janu...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Sun, 30 Apr 2006 09:39:00 PST

The Toys and Myspace

Delaquin was in town for a jigAnd came to visit the toysWhile he was with themHe turned on their ancient computerAnd showed them his Myspace pageThe toys were fascinatedExcept for Le Grand who just sa...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Mon, 24 Apr 2006 03:01:00 PST

Easter Sunday

It was Easter SundayAnd all the toys woke upFeeling unreasonably sad and wearyUnderstandable really, said SpottyAfter all, it is the most powerful spiritual day of the yearIt's normal we should feel d...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Sun, 16 Apr 2006 03:29:00 PST

Spotty's New Friend (Delaquin)

Spotty brought a friend to the toy boxIt was an Irish panda called DelaquinAnd he had tattoos all the way up both armsDelaquins a singer and he plays the guitarSaid Spotty proudlyAnd he's here in Engl...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Sat, 08 Apr 2006 02:14:00 PST

Delaquin's Stay

Delaquin stayed the next dayAnd the nextIt seemed to BrownThat he sang at the drop of a hatPurely to hypnotise the females of the toy speciesYes, he had to admitThe panda had a good voicePlayed the gu...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Sat, 08 Apr 2006 02:10:00 PST

A Lyrical departure

The following morningDelaquin packed his guitarReady to leaveAll the toys were very sadExcept, of course, BrownYoure a wonderful bunch, said DelaquinAnd Ill be back to see youAs soon as I canThere wer...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Sat, 08 Apr 2006 02:07:00 PST

Brown Bear And The Honours List

HonoursIt was a Sunday afternoon in MarchFar too cold and miserableFor the toys to go outSo they all settled down to various quite activitiesIn the toy boxSpotty and Veronica were playing snapAlphonse...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Sun, 02 Apr 2006 01:48:00 PST

Alphonse And Pablo

Bon soir my frinds - in case you do not visit me, I will attempt never the less to amuse with the odd blog. If you enjoy this you can read more of the stories on www.alphonselegrandbear.co.uk - commen...
Posted by Alphonse Le Grand Bear on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 09:43:00 PST