i am always and forever searching.
i've faced it...a life wasted...and i don't ever want to go back again.
[in my stereo--as of 5/17/2007] ryan adams & the cardinals "cold roses", ryan adams & the cardinals "jacksonville city nights", ben folds "songs for silvermen", brand new "the devil and god are raging inside of me", brian jonestown massacre "tepid peppermint wonderland: a retrospective", channels "waiting for the next end of the world", the coup "pick a bigger weapon", dayinthelife "dayinthelife", the decemberists "crane wife", kevin devine "put your ghost to rest", the eels "beautiful freak", errortype 11 "amplified to rock", errortype 11 "errortype 11",, gracer "voices travel", her last words demo, jedi mind tricks "visions of gandhi", daniel johnston "continued + hi how are you", daniel johnston "fun", lariat/at war with shadows split cd, the lemonheads "the lemonheads", the lord humongous demo 1, mind over matter "security", mind over matter "automanipulation", nas "hip hop is dead", on the might of princes "where you are and where you want to be [reissue]", on the might of princes "making of a conversation [reissue]", pearl jam "pearl jam", radio 4 "enemies like this", rage against the machine "rage against the machine", silversun pickups "pikul", silversun pickups "carnavas", small arms dealer "a single unifying theory", dusty rhodes & the river band "first you live...", arcade fire "neon bible", modest mouse "we were dead before the skip even sank"
Crash, Waking Life, School Of Rock, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Slackers, Good Will Hunting, Seven Years In Tibet, 12 Monkeys, Fight Club, Holy Smoke!, Desperado, The Assassins, Pump Up The Volume, Primal Fear, The Usual Suspects, American History X, The Believer, Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky And The News Media, The Motorcycle Diaries, Hotel Rwanda, Lenny, Three Kings, When We Were Kings, The Corporation, Instrument-Ten Years With The Band Fugazi, The Yes Men, The Insider, Malcolm X, Get On The Bus, 4 Little Girls, Bulworth, Mississippi Masala, Secrets And Lies, A World Apart, The Times Of Harvey Milk, The Andy Kaufman Midnight Special, Suburbia, Repo Man, Roger & Me, The Big One, Bowling For Columbine, Horns And Halos, Goodnight, And Good Luck, Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind, In The Name Of The Father, The Last Of The Mohigans, Gandhi, The Incident @ Oglala, Smoke Signals, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Love Jones, Freestyle: The Art Of Rhyme, Slam, Crumb, I Shot Andy Warhol, Dig!, The Aristocrats, Dead Poet's Society, The Fisher King, Dead Man Walking, I Am Sam, Life Is Beautiful, The Tao Of Steve, Benny And Joon, Chocolat, Don Juan Demarco, What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, Finding Neverland, Pirates of the Caribeean, Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, From Hell, Blow, Donnie Brasco, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, Adaptation, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, Ghost World, American Beauty, Wonder Boys, Reality Bites, The Garden State, Singles, Say Anything, Better Off Dead, High Fidelity, The Wedding Singer, Punch Drunk Love, The Life Aquatic, Big Fish, Elf, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut, Orgasmo, Team America: World Force, Buffalo '66, Monster, The Opposite Of Sex, Man On The Moon, Bruce Almighty, Liar Liar, No Such Thing, Geneviere, Interview With The Vampire, Go, Swingers, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, The Mighty, Millions, Finding Nemo
The Simpsons (but not anything recent), Family Guy (but it's getting worse and worse), That 70's Show (reruns), South Park (for life, kid!), The Cobert Report (hit or miss, but when it hits its hits!), The Daily Show With John Stewart (sweet!), Law & Order (any of em), A Cold Case (sometimes), Without A Trace (sometimes), Penn & Teller's "Bullshit!", The State, The Boondocks, The Chappelle Show, Arrested Development (thank you, DVD's!), Animal Planet (aww!), My So Called Life, Saturday Night Live (mostly the reruns on E!, but sometimes a new one here and there), early Dawson's Creek, Gilmore Girls (reruns), sporadic Roseanne, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Everybody Loves Raymond, The Cosby Show and Dharma & Greg reruns, ESPN Sportscenter, Pardon the Interruption and Around The Horn, all of them Celebreality shows on VH1, random shows on MTV, FX & Spike TV, and anything else smart, funny, human, ridiculous or that can make me laugh while I'm being useless, feeling bored or just vegging out in front of the TV--but really half of the time whatever the Roren brothers have shown me is their latest television obsession! Goddamn they own an insane ammount of ridiculous crap! I mean, fuck the Tone Library collective! There needs to be a motherfucking Roren Library collective! (ha ha j/k)
the last few books i've read: "peace in the post-christian era" by thomas merton & patricia a burton, "riot in the charm factory" by todd colby, "bound for glory" by woody guthrie, "no more prisons" by william upski wimsatt, "the gnostic gospels" by elaine pagels and "the will to change: men, masculinity & love" by bell hooks, current reading: "the teenage liberation handbook: how to quit school and get a real life and education" by grace llewellyn, "kids with courage: true stories about young people making a difference" by barbara a. lewis, "the art of happiness: a handbook for living" by. his holiness the dalai lama & howard c. cutler m.d. and "too nice for your own good: how to stop making self sabotaging mistakes" by duke robinson
[People who've most had an impact on my life and/or help to sort of keep me sane] John Lennon, Jello Biafra, Kurt Cobain, The Black Panthers, the American Indian Movement, Leonard Peltier, Mumia Abu Jamaal, Malcolm X, Lariat [RIP], Korn (for at least getting me through h.s.), Rage Against The Machine, The Deftones, Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Howard Zinn, Noam Chomsky, Micheal Moore, Kanye West, Outkast, The Dalai Llama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Shravasti Dhammika (and his book "Good Question, Good Answer"), Jeff Buckley, Ian MacKaye, Jack Black, Dave Chapelle, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Jim Carrey, Andy Kaufman, Abbie Hoffman, Charlie Kaufman, Cameron Crowe, Jon Cusack, Saul Williams, Mos Def, Talib Kweli & Black Star, The Roots, The Coup, The Last Emperor, William Upski Wimsatt, Dead Prez, Ani DiFranco, Jim Goad (for the relativity), Johnny Depp, Mark Anderson, Gertrude Postl, Richard Linklater, George Reynolds, Arty Shepard, RT Philie, Bill Florio, Justin Brannan, Charles Bukowski, Leonard Cohen, David Axelrod, Lenny Bruce, Elaine Pagels, On The Might Of Princes [RIP], Kevin Devine & The Goddamn Band, Sergei, Sean, With Every Idle Hour & their extended family, Satellite Lost [RIP], Gracer, Villa Vina, God's Gift To Women, Each Other's Mothers, Bridge & Tunnel, We Meet Under Tables, Krylls, Heston Rifle [RIP], Seer, , The Secret Life of Sofia, Nakatomi Plaza, C.M.R., Slowlands, Con Amore [RIP?], Encrypt Manuscript, The Back Up Plan [RIP?], Take My Chances, Theives & Assassins, SpeedSpeedSpeed, Mike Andriani [Rok Lok Records], Center Of Zero [RIP], Domain [RIP], Subterfuge [RIP], Matt Roren, Matt Dallow, Zia [RIP], Microwave Orphans [RIP], Space Robot Scientists [RIP?], The Repercussions [RIP], White Collar Crime [RIP], Sara Dallow, The Lord Humongous, Capital, Revenge Of The Dragon, Ancient Tongue, Big Mike & New Muse Productions, Little Baby Ry Ry, J-Ro, Hilary Walters, Melissa Rosenthal, Pete Smiloff, Jesse Zook Mann, Rachel Jacobs, Julie Kantor, Nicole Keiper, Danielle Susskraut, Andre Bermudez, Wells Tipley, Rikterfuge, The Cesspool, the Commack Bowling Alley & any bands that ever played there, Sander Hicks, Bill Hicks, Rich Black, Homeless Veterans Productions [RIP], Shortbox.tv, Rachel Rubino, Kevin Van Meter, Dancing Dave Castillo, Cory Bonfiglio, Justin Williams, Jason Schneider, Vegan Phil, The Reformation [RIP], Marianne & Virginia Bonner, Maddi Scheckter, LI Freespace [RIP], Dirk Effertz, Desirae Barre, Mike Longo, My Summer, 3 Years Older, Kimmie Thomas & crew, Under The Volcano, Aural Fix, Cityzen.tv, Long Island Press, Long Island Voice, Long Island Sound [the record store], the No Dice booking collective [RIP], Long Island Roller Rebels, Lisa & Lauren Castagna, The Slack Pack [RIP?], the Freaks, Nerds And Romantics, Davie Kaufman, Ace Fu Records, Radar Recordings, Errortype 11 [RIP], Earthling Massive [RIP], Aeschylus [RIP], Regarding I [RIP], Yes Sensei, Come Down [RIP?], The Helicopters [RIP], The Cinema Arts Centre, Dobler [RIP], Down In The Dumps, Jason Webley, Boogdish, 50 Ways To Kill Me, Joe Jack Talcum & The Lowbudgets, Sacred Black [RIP], Hoover Flags [RIP], Beardlift, The Turnover, Playing Dead, Mary Ellen Devaux, Keith Moore, Sam Hoyos, my former co-workers everywhere I've worked, Meg, Ceci & Lindsey, Saints & Sinners [RIP], any band whose ever played there & anyone whose showed up at Saints & Sinners who aren't just complete & total douchebags, Toons & Give Back Records [RIP], Chris Phillips & Diana, Joseph Osolin, Dan Terr, Amanda Solner, Ben Vargas, Adam Vargas, Mike Peirce, Dan Hecht, Mike Pastewski, Angela & Christina Dimos, Maria Broadway, Katie Amella, Joe Brown, Jimmy Cameron, Dennis Lee, Dean Geolz, Mike Giordano, Sal Bartolo, Greg Patalano, Aaron Scott, Julie Epstein, Paul Rosano, Jeremy Masa, John Lewis, Justin & Micheal Dulce, Sara Hunt, Tom Hood, Bionic Ali, Miss Crissi, Nick Belingeiri, Chromelodeon, Dusty Rhodes & The River Band, Espada [RIP], Matt Stamos, Barbara & Amanda Frudakis, Josh Casino, Small Arms Dealer, Tia & Joe of the Fellow Project, Phil, Duffy & Wrong Island Productions, Latterman, Dixon Rambler, The Vision Theatre [RIP], Ali B., Daisy B. & Sideways Smile [RIP], Dan Brenner, Rafer Guzman, Ultra Sound Lounge, Smithtown Masonic Temple, Michelle Siegell, Chris Kondrich, Entrope/Aklista [RIP], The Potbelly Bandits, Trashed On Fiction, Buddy Dunn, Magnetic North, Exploder 1, Michelle "Damnit", the CMB & his MOF crew, James Cooper, Greg Groovy, the Caffeine As Gasoline dudes, Pretty Polly [RIP], Bricks For Shoulders, Slingshot Dakota, E.S.C.H. E, the Tone Library, Cassie Rodgers, Antonia Santangelo, Kenyon Hopkin, Bill Meis (for helping me out with my first birthday show), Dawn L., Scott aka "Castiron Simon", the immortal Reland, Rob Santiago, Thunder Tom, D-Kline (for his support of Saints & Sinners right from pretty much the beginning), Don Mattingly, Dominique Wilkens, the 1986 & 1990 NY Giants championship teams (thank you, Scott Norwood!), old school style professional wrestling (new or old!), the NY Rangers 1993 stanley cup championship hockey team, Jo Ann Ruckel, Vivian Isaakson, Lawrence Epstein, my gigantic & loving family and anyone else who I have or haven't met yet who isn't a complete moron or has the courage, intelligence & guts to actually think outside of the box & for themselves in this life!