Pronunciation: "mas-t&r-'bA-sh&n
Function: noun
: erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies
You know, you love me, I cross all gender and cultural boundries, I can be done almost anywere. I creep up when you're alone, or with that special someone. I'm great because you don't need to buy me flowers, or dinner. Pick your favorite technique, the stranger, the bottom up, the reverse grip(feels like somebody else is doing it!) two times tito, the manual override, the white knuckle, or the ham baster, whatever gets you off. I release all your stress in a single moment, plus if you are ugly or gargantuanly obese, lets face it, I'm all you got. So just go with it, don't be ashamed, lock the door, flip out your favorite magazine or movie, think about Brad Pitt or Pam Anderson, and let the good times roll!
Oh yes, and by the way, there is a vicious rumor going around that everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Well, that is just ridiculous and totally not true.
