"We know that these people act in the name of Islam but we also know that the vast and overwhelming majority of Muslims here and abroad are decent and law-abiding people who abhor those who do this every bit as much as we do," -Tony Blair,July 7th 2005
Linkman: Cliff, this must have been a very disappointing result for the All Blacks.
Cliff: (Welsh accent) Well, they've had very bad luck on the tour so far. They missed four very easy kicks against the Exeter Amateur Operatic Society, which must have cost them the match and then of course there was that crippling defeat at the hands of the Derry and Toms Soft Toy Department, so I don't think they can be really fancying their chances against the London Pooves on Saturday.
LANCASHIRE
Lancashire is an historic county. Shortly after the Norman Conquest in 1066, King William gave the land between the Ribble and the Mersey to Roger of Poitou. He chose Lancaster as the site for his castle, and this became his centre of administration.
In 1168, Lancashire was first termed 'the county of Lancashire' under King Henry II.
In the 15th century, for 30 years, the Lancastrians fought the Yorkists in the War of the Roses.
"In south west Lancashire, babes don't toddle, they side-step. Queuing women talk of 'nipping round the blindside'. Rugby provides our cultural adrenalin. It's a physical manifestation of our rules of life, comradeship, honest endeavour, and a staunch, often ponderous allegiance to fair play." - Colin Welland
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
Viz-a-viz the metabolic processes, he's had his lot. All statements to the effect that this parrot is still a going concern are from now on inoperative.
The creative staff at British Airways and the FAA who had the airline version changed from Alotta Fagina to : Alotta Cleavaga.
Senators Rand and Hoyle of North Carolina,who,on March 9th 2005 sponsored State Senate Bill 429.This acts to authorize the DMV to issue a special license plate bearing the phrase: "I'd Rather Be Shaggin"
My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous comments like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy... the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My name is the Guru Pitka. I am a spiritual teacher and I have combined many
disparate disciplines into a unified movement of human potentiality and
equipoise that I learned from my guru, the late Guru Shastri, a chaste man who
died mysteriously of a disease that strangely had all the hallmarks of
syphilis. He would say to me, Sparky, love is all, life is breath.
"Je suis un bucheron et ca me rejouit, je travaille le jour et je dors la nuit."
"I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and... um... settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that!"
"Tom: The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you."
"Fiona: Where's Gareth?
Matthew: Verbally torturing Americans.
Fiona: How thoughtful of him."
Charles: Marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation. Gareth: The definitive icebreaker.
Charles: Do you think there really are people who can just go up and say, "Hi, babe. Name's Charles. This is your lucky night"? Matthew: Well, if there are, they're not English.
I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it.
English Super Group :
Ming Tea
Ming Tea with Go-Go
Austin Powers International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me
Austin Powers Goldmember.
The portrait below on loan from Janet's private collection housed at the Glendale Galleria.
Ignore the above. Virginia has an unlimited Power of Attorney over my choices. I surrender my free will to whatsoever is in the corresponding section of her profile.
CAMELOT,English version:pulling sword from stone
CAMELOT,American version:Phys Ed teacher pulling genitalia through shower plumbing
This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
"I really thought I’d gone to his house, you know, to heal our spiritual divide. But it turns out I was just gagging for a shag. Those two are so similar."
....Jane-BBC America,Coupling
The first 164 Pages of the 4th Edition and Page 449 from the 3rd Edition-hard to think of it as Page 417 of the 4th.
One book: Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag, Baby,
by Austin Powers.
Hero-worship is strongest where there is least regard for human freedom. -Herbert Spencer
I admire the Jamaican Bobsled Team.
VIVA REGINA ! I am loyal to my Monarch.
My father,Nigel,is still a work in progress. Should read: "A New Pair of Glasses" by the late Chuck C.
Created for me by my friend Jen, Soul of the United Kingdom of Indigo
Created for me by my friend Salma,Ayla Vue, for the "This is your mojo on drugs" campaign.
Created for me by my friend Robert aka Perceptual Bliss who's a true Colossus of Roads
Created for me by my friend Tamara for the British Dental Association campaign. Note the adoring yet disdainfully sceptical expression on her fine Canadian face.
A Guildford man has been honoured in the People’s Courage Awards for 2006 for showing ‘outstanding bravery and strength of character’ in throwing out a number of old computer cables, even though he could not remember where they came from and could not be certain that one of them might not come in handy again at some point in the future.
"Capitulation?"..well Tamara,as that Yardbird Clapton said:
"Sometimes you have to surrender to win"