Alfie - ProfilesArchive

About Me

MyGen Profile Generator Likes: Eating grass with my friends. Enjoys: Going to competitions, especially the jumping speed round. Having my neck scratched. Hates: Mum making me do dressage, it's so fucking gay. Cows, they're plotting something evil. Scared of: Carrier bags in hedges, people jumping out on me when I least expect it, jumping ditches, road works and other horses scare me. Ambition: To become a tap dancer. Most proud moment: Rubbing my belly whilst patting my head. Favourite Microsoft Office Assistant: The cat. I hate the paperclip. Most embarrassing moment: Being paraded round the whole of my village pimped up like some fucking Christmas tree, I'm still finding bits of tinsel to this day. Click on the Pic button to witness my shame.
The cat sometimes sleeps on my back, because I am warm.

My Interests

eating, pooing, jumping and horse play.

I'd like to meet:

My pikey parents and the cast horsey cast of The Stables

Music:

currently listening to bird song. the free loading bastards make nests in my stable and then have the cheek to poo on me, it's not fair, i'm not physically built to get revenge. the flying bastards. apparently i have a sister called lily allen who has written a song about my incessant drug taking, which is nice. i do like the goldfrapp song 'ride on a white horse', mum said they wrote it about me which is weird because i've never met goldfrapp. i also like the hives 'mane offender' i think its about silver, the lone rangers horse or something awesome.

Movies:

black beauty, seabiscuit. i don't like racing stripes the plot was too unrealistic, a zebra would never beat a race horse because they are inferior.

Television:

the stables on cbbc, pet rescue, animal hospital, vets in practice, jeremy kyle, countryfile, time team and of course, neighbours.

Books:

hung like a horse magazine. I'm in it.

Heroes:

shadowfax.

My Blog

I need a shower...

Today was going well until I got really bad tummy ache and wasn't able to eat or poo. Mum called the vet and he said I had mild colic and gave me an injection. I thought 'phew thank you for that Mr ...
Posted by Alfie on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 10:37:00 PST

Sir Tim FitzHigham

Lately, in between eating and defecating, I've been pondering the reason for my existence. Sure my life is good, but I have this intense feeling that I have a deeper purpose in life. Similar to Frodo ...
Posted by Alfie on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 11:25:00 PST

Fireworks Schmireworks.

I ain't scared of no ghosts, or fireworks. Both Hallowe'en and Bonfire night have gone by and I have not lost any sleep over either of them. The only thing I worry about it humans. Humans, you waltz ...
Posted by Alfie on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 01:41:00 PST

least exciting win of the year.

on sunday i won the 3' 3". i was only against one other horse, who had a fence down in the first round (i jumped clear) so i won, but it wasn't very spectacular. but the brilliant thing was, i won a ...
Posted by Alfie on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 04:35:00 PST

i bit my mum.

today i bit my mum on the arm really hard. i didn't mean to. how was i to know there was flesh under her coat? she shouldn't have rested it on my stable door, she knows i pull anything off my stable d...
Posted by Alfie on Mon, 21 Aug 2006 03:24:00 PST

mines a pint.

i won a dressage championship today, which is like woah! me, dressage, winning. hello? what? for those who don't know what dressage is, it's kinda like ballet for horses. i mean, i know dressage is ...
Posted by Alfie on Mon, 31 Jul 2006 11:42:00 PST