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A charming, unassuming young whipper-snapper, raised in the glorious surroundings of downtown Shrewsbury, who appreciates the finer things in life. Cheese platters, fine wine, Super Tennents, Linda Kitson

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Prone to lapses in almost anything.

I used to have a very exclusive selection of boxer shorts, but A.C. Kitson stole them from the wash basket. Kitson likes wearing my pants.

If there was any justice I would be a rock star.

First rule of life? The Knacker sees, the Knacker wants, the Knacker gets. It's written in the scriptures. Check if you don't believe me.

Don't put coffee anywhere near me. I is allergic and it makes me sick up.

I've never been to me.