I am a man of simple means and yet I must covet and consume all that I see. A creature of the centuries, I have seen what most only read about in history books and in gothic literature and yet with all the wisdom I have obtained, I still cannot decide between Coke and Pepsi. Sadly, I fall victim to the same trappings as do all you mortals . . . you know . . . long walks in graveyards, in-depth conversations with the clinically insane, my Thursday night knitting circle and Friday night occult meetings (which both ironically contain the same members). As I am continually finding new and unique ways to die I have decided that upon my next demise, I wish to be cremated and have my ashes thrown in the faces of those whom I hate. Don't piss me off or you surely will make the list. I am a "Haunted Mansionoholic" and although I loath the sun (for obvious reasons) I can often be seen amongst the vile and nauseating children at Disneyland waiting my turn to hop into a doombuggy. Here's a picture of me outside the gates waiting for my precious girlfiend Susperina to return with a $9.00 coke before we ventured back in yet another time.
People who love their Mums.
One of my favorite all time classics would have to be the 1956 epic "The Ten Commandments" and although I was originally cast as Moses, only to be replaced by some hack (yes, I'm bitter), I still find it to be a masterpiece. Here I am in a test shot they did which was deemed too disturbing even for a religious picture . . . GO FIGURE!Ofcourse horror is what motivates me and is responsible for all that I have become . . . Well, that and bad parenting! Besides, it's where I get to catch up with some of my oldest and dearest friends! So, in no particular order here's the short list.THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE 1974, HALLOWEEN 1978, SUSPIRIA 1977, DAWN OF THE DEAD 1978, THE SHINING 1980, PSYCHO 1960, ROSEMARY’S BABY 1968, CARRIE 1976, THE EXORCIST 1973, THE EVIL DEAD 1981, BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN 1935, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 1968, HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER 1986, SHIVERS 1975, THE DEVIL RIDES OUT 1968, ELS DIABOLIQUES 1955, MARTIN 1977, THE HOWLING 1981, VAMPYR 1932, THE PLAGUE OF THE ZOMBIES 1966, HOUR OF THE WOLF 1968, NEKROMANTIK 1987, THE BEYOND 1981 and HELLRAISER 1987 ONE DAY I HOPE TO STAR IN MY OWN SNUFF FILM!
My literary tastes are, for the lack of a better word, "unconventional" but recently I find myself bouncing between "The Catcher in the Rye," "The Necronomicon" and "Curious George Rides a Bike" (The latter being the most intense.) Edward Gory has long been one of my all time favorites and as a small child, I was fortunate to be chosen along with 25 other children to be featured in his classic short 'The Gashlycrumb Tinies" I played young Yorick with whom met his demise via a nasty head injury. Here I am in action and here I am in the group photo. Other literary standout for me would be William Shakespeare's 'The Tragedy of MacBeth",James Hog's "The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner", Jeremiads Gotthelf's "The Black Spider", Robert Louis Stevenson's, "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"and Theodore Geisel, aka DR. Suess's "Fox in Socks."
I have been given the superlative honor of being elected into one of the most infamous sects ever to be plague Mother Earth . . . None other than The GFH Club (Gentlemen from Hell) and for those of you fool hearted enough to even consider attempting membership, let me just say if you didn't applaud when Old Yeller got shot, then don't even waste your time.My one true hero doubles as the world's first and only true bad ass . . . ME!!!