Your Best Friend JEN!! profile picture

Your Best Friend JEN!!

Jen and the Singing Meat Mongers!!

About Me


Hi I'm Your Best Friend JEN!! I am so glad we are Best Friends!! I'm a Fun Loving Girl from the quaint town of Laredy!!!! Its a paradise, but about 10 years ago I had to move to Lyons, Colorado. My Sweet Mom and Rough and Tough Dad got in trouble for trying to take bunches and bunches of lottery scratchy tickets. They said they would pay for them when they won the money but the Judge was a jerkface!! So I moved to Lyons to live with my most favoritest relatives ever!!! My Wacky Ant Tina and my Uncle Rudy!!! I grew up alongside my sweety pie Cousin Alice. We all have so much fun together!!!! These days my cousin Alice lives with her cutey patooty Boyfriend Kevin!! They laff at me because they say I'm not "down wit the clown" I wish I was, clowns are super Funny!! I love living with my favoritest Ant and Uncle, they take me to Casa Bonita all the time!! ............................................................ ............................................................ ...............................................I like lots of stuff.. My favoritest food is Ham!! My Favorite store is The Walmart!!! My favorite animal is THE DOLPHIN!! Yay Dolphins!!! But I do hate the football team because they are not the Broncos!!! Yay BRonCos!! ...................I love to travel and meet lots and lots of famous people!! But most of all I love you!! My Very Best Friend!!*A note to potential Best Friends* Ant Tina keeps me pretty busy during the week!! So I normally accept New Best Friends once a week! So please don't get mad at me when You don't get accepted overnight. Please don't yell at me, and please don't send me dirty dirty dirty letters. A dirty, disgusting sense of humor is OK!! But When I get personal letters from people that say they want to put their stuff in my stuff and have stuff land on my stuff so they can take that stuff and strap it on and put it inside some elses stuff covered in other stuff with a puppy while grandma watches. Its just creepy and I don't understand what "stuff" is anyway. And Reading dirty letters makes you pregnant!!! Ant Tina says I'm not allowed to date anyway, because "I'm a Harlot and boys only want to punch my funbags." I thought the Maltese Falcon was made of chocolate!! I Broke 5 teeth before I realized it was just made of stupid old Precious metals!!Archie kept calling me "Cheeks"I had to go to work, so I didnt stay for the whole ride. But it was a nice car!!Dr. Phil Said I smelled like cupcakes then he touched my tooshy!The Buffet in Africa was my favorite part!!I am glad the japanese lost the war, if they won we might not have Godzilla!Click here to get your own Unique Contact Box - Over 1890 to choose from

My Interests

Sean P.Dolphins, Ham, Walmart, Red Lobster, Historical figures, Vienna Sausages, Ben and Jerry's, Toboganing, Walmart, Celebrities, kitties, puppies, bunnies, Profesional Wrestlin, Cartoons, Family, Comic Booky Ooks, Super Fun Movies, Elk Hunting, Dolphins, Ham, Golden Girls and Scrapin my Hertchies. He said he wouldnt share any turkey until I did a "time warp again". So I just took the turkey.Magnum's Mustache feels like velvet and smells like cinnamon! This is Tom Cruise running from his sexuality!! I Hate Him So Much!!! Swim with the Dolphins!POTATOESKim is so funny. We stayed up late watching movies, and I got my first KISS!!I was only on the show because Travolta "liked the shake of my wiggle."A long time ago with Your Best Friend far away.

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet anyone Who wants to be MY Best Friend!! I want my Best Friend to have a good scense of humor. I'd like a Best Friend who tries to understand and explore the Nummy Num Nummyunonious deleciousness of Ham and other tasty canned or uncanned Meats. But I also wouldnt Mind a Best Friend who only eats Crunchy vegies and chewy sweet fruits. Actually you dont have to eat anything to be my Best Friend!! My Wacky Ant Tina says that computers are how the Devil makes Brain Herpes!!!! then she buys a bible on Ebay.Mr President Bush said I could stay and play some Nintendo with him. But he just made me watch while he played. I told him "Michael show them your baby!"Slavos Patakos has the bestest Hotdogs!They feel just like puppy fur!!SURPRISE!!!3 Men and Your Best Friend JEN!!I asked him to take me flying but he said his back hurt. Why would they make a new Captain America movie when the old one was so great!! How can a diamond shine any brighter??I had to stand in for Sammy when he lost his fake eye in a bar fight.

Music:

"If I was Invincibel i would just hold you in my arms" Clay smells like vinager. I thought Crossing the Delaware was like Running for the border!! But there were no delicious tacos on the other side.If it wasnt for YOKO it would have been me.Barry is my favorite BEEGEE because he didnt spit racial slurs at me!!Sir Paul and me! We went shoe shopping!I thought Ginsberg was a steak house!! oopsy

Movies:

I have an extensive VHS collection!!! Long Ago I Promised myself that I would watch at least 3 VHS movies a day for the rest of my life. I'd never break a promise to myself!! Every Leap year I watch "Mannequin" From sunrise to sunset (long story). Their wedding cake was delicious. Nobody told me I had to wait for the couple to cut it before I took a few handfulls. I thought Brides were supposed to be happy on their wedding day.I thought it was Red Lobster but they let me stay anyway. Skesis smell like Rich Leather and Dark Chocolate!! Seriously!!Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves in the ocean where dolphins live...Sign Me Up!! AWKWARD!He kicks like a smooth legged Angel!The best day of my life.

Television:

Lots and Lots of TV!! You learn something new everyday on TV!! Nothing is better than a warm soda and The Golden Girls!! My summer job on The Island was pretty boring. All we did was drink tea and act mysterious all the time.For that one wonderful day, It was called The Jenimo!

Books:

TV Guide, Comicy Books, the Red Lobster Menu, Books about delicious. These guys were fun until they couldnt control their hands!! This picture is stupidEvery issue of TV Guide should look just like this!They may be three apples high, but they don't taste like apples.I would have been Anakin but I had a growth spurt.Shatner liked to pretend I was a washing machine. He was always throwing dirty underwear at me!Every day we would draw numbers out of a hat for who gets to shine Picard's head.Nothin better than PooI'm part Irish. The drunk part.

Heroes:

My Wacky Ant Tina and My Uncle Rudy and Ryan Seacrest Why didnt we listen??? WHY!?!?He's actually very pleasant in person!Britney drove us apart.Chuck Norris smells like the most delicious steak that you could never finish.Michael and I have known eachother for a long time.The Overlook Hotel is gorgus in the winter. It can get a little dull though..r{}

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My Blog

Sasquatches!!!

Hi its Your Best Friend JEN!!  I am so glad we are Best Friends!!  The last few weeks have been chock full of the mostest  wildest Adventures I've ever had!!   A couple months...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Sat, 30 Sep 2006 11:54:00 PST

The Mighty Cow God

I can't even explain how amazing this week was!! I met the "Mighty Cow God!!!" It was so stupendously astounding that I don't even think I can explain it, I'll just have to show you........... In Holl...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Sat, 30 Sep 2006 11:52:00 PST

Mr. ButterSpoons The Ghost!!!!

 The last couple of weeks have been so Kooky!! My Wacky Ant Tina was practicing one of her favorite things. She calls it a "hobby", my Uncle Rudy calls it "The Dark Arts". My Ant Tina was spitti...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Sun, 30 Jul 2006 08:59:00 PST

Indiana Jen and the Volcano of Food

 Yesterday, my Uncle Rudy was home sick from his job at the Native American Artwork and Fudge Emporium.   He got Scabies really bad!   So I decided to keep him company while h...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Fri, 26 May 2006 12:33:00 PST

COLD SANDWICH SEASON!!

  Yay Yippee Hooray!!  Its My favorite time of the year!!  Its Cold Sandwich Season.   It is definitely the most fun, happiest, most delicious season ever!!  That special...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Fri, 19 May 2006 02:16:00 PST

Lou Ferrigno!!

 I had the most amazing weekend of my life EVER!!!  I met one of the most famous people in the entire history of the world!   LOU THE INCREDIBLE HULK FERRIGNO!!!!   Most ...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Fri, 05 May 2006 09:04:00 PST

Nyquilroni and Cheese

  Yesterday my Wacky Ant Tina made a strange dinner for me.  She called it NyquilRoni and Cheese.  She says she soaks the noodles overnight in a secret broth!!!  I had four nummnum...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Fri, 28 Apr 2006 09:41:00 PST

Bestest Birthday Ever!!

 Today Was My Birthday!!!  For My Birthday My Wacky Ant Tina and my Uncle Rudy took me to my favoritest Restaurant!! ..................Red Lobster!! Before we even got there I knew what I wa...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 11:58:00 PST

Yay!! BEAR TRAP HUNT!!

Yesterday my Uncle Rudy offered my Cousin Alice and I each four dollars an hour to do some chores for him. It was pretty hard work! Mowing the lawn, cleaning up the chicken coop, straightening up Uncl...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 11:50:00 PST

Lil' Cuteseys!

 My Uncle Rudy and I are thinking of starting our own super duper money making business!! We think that it would be great if we could get Hamsters and Gerbils to breed TOGETHER!!! Making a new ra...
Posted by Your Best Friend JEN!! on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 11:45:00 PST