(the real) Lenin

My name is Vladimir Illyich Ulyanov, sometimes I also write and carry out revolutionary activities under the names Vladimir Illyich Lenin and Nicolai Lenin... see, sometimes I don't change my real first and middle name, but use the "Lenin" pseudonym instead of Ulyanov, other times I completely change it to "Nicolai Lenin" - I am so clever - you never know what you will get, much like a bourgeois box of chocolates! Oh yeah, and by the way, if you ever dare to mention that my father was a minor Czarist official I will send 19 divisions of crack Red Army troops lead personally by Felix Dzerzhinsky and the best former counter-revolutionary White generals which are now being forced to work for me to your house. Whenever I am portrayed by the masses of proletarians I am calm, collected, smooth, and even quite witty. I think these things are true, although sometimes my temper takes over and I rage a little... I guess because I am a Taurus, yes I know dialectical materialism, blah, blah, whatever ... . I've had a very stressful life, you know my older brother, Alexander Ulyanov, was executed by the Czar Alexander III, for conspiring to kill him! They didn't even do it, they just plotted! I mean, give me a break! Also, the task of being the sole genuine continuer of the ideas of Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels is a little stressful in itself... it is such a burden. If I let up from writing these essays, pamphlets, and books for one second Rosa Luxemburg and her meddling husband Karl Liebknect will have the Communists all over Europe in a state of Left-wing childishness, if not infancy! Then there are the Mensheviks (Julius...! why couldn't you have been a Bolshevik, my Martov...! ::swoon::), and the Socialist Revolutionaries... and my mentor, Plekhanov, even died supporting the Imperialist war!!!!!! Then the other day Bukharin had the hairbrained idea of invading the Germans instead of calling a seperate peace with them, yes, our beloved Germans who smuggled me back into the country, and gave us Bolsheviks millions of their gold to wage OUR revolution - he wants to invade them, and turn the imperialist war into a revolutionary one!!!! First, we promised the proletarians and peasants that we would end the war and give also bread and land to them (everyone owns the collectized land, right? Right!!!!?), but how are the Germans suppose to help us with building our military in the future if we declare war on them now!? I am so stressed, and just agitated all the time... some "Left" SR wrecker even shot me in the neck the other day... arrgh!! I really need to cool down and spend a few hours in Gorki... left to right: Felix Dzerzhinsky (head of my Cheka), me, and Stalin, showin' some love.Sometimes when my wife, Nadezhda Krupskaya, is not at the Kremlin chateau, I have French prostitutes pose in that empty chair there and I sketch them scantily clothed, and or naked. This time I am drawing one from memory.