Graham Borgfjord profile picture

Graham Borgfjord

Living on borrowed time and borrowed money, its all gone to hell, but I've still got the funny.

About Me

Stand up comic trying to balance a complete lack of self esteem with a super-inflated ego.


You're The Catcher in the Rye!
by J.D. Salinger
You are surrounded by phonies, and boy are you sick of them! In an ongoing struggle to search for a land without phonies, you end up running away from everything, from school to consequences. In this process, you reveal that many people in your life have suffered torments and all you really want to do is catch them as they fall. Perhaps using a baseball mitt. Your biggest fans are infamous psychotics.
Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid .


You're Bhutan!
With the body of a gnat and the mind of a dragon, you are a bundle of energy. You enjoy mountain-climbing, rock-climbing, stair-climbing, pretty much any kind of climbing you can manage. This has lifted you into the clouds in more than one way, helping you achieve some inner peace above the fray of madness all around you. People would seek you out for advice if they could ever find you.
Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Create or get your
very own MySpace Layouts

My Interests

comedy, stand up, sketch, writing, bill hicks, michael o'donoghue, jon stewart, stephen colbert, lewis black, bob newhart, david cross, mike wilmot, hockey,winnipeg jets, nashville predators, molson standard, cooking, baking, arrested development

I'd like to meet:

humans

Music:

afghan whigs, fishbone, action makes, basehead, elvis costello, mudhoney, fishbone, public enemy, iron maiden, leonard cohen, neil young, rhcp, tom petty, beastie boys, & LOVERBOY!

Movies:

ferris bueller's day off, slap shot, duck soup, roxanne, the aristocrats, comedian, tango & cash, scrooged, planes trains and automobiles, it's all gone pete tong

Television:

trailer park boys, arrested development, kids in the hall, daily show, colbert report, simpsons, dead like me, weeds, mary tyler moore, newsradio

Heroes:

Glenn "Chico" Resch

My Blog

This Is Gonna Be My Year!

 Oh yeah, this is it.  2007 baby!  My time to shine.  How confident am I that this is going to be the year where everything is coming up Borgfjord?  Well, I'm writing this in ...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Fri, 04 May 2007 04:12:00 PST

Letters to Celebrities 5

Dear Smokey the Bear:   Fuck you, Smokey!   Yes, that wasn't very polite of me.  I know that traditionally one opens a letter with banal pleasantries such as "How are you?" or "Did your...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 01:21:00 PST

Letters to Celebrities 4

Dear Chairman Kaga,  I very much enjoy your various Iron Chef programs.  Whenever I see your top chefs wasting vast amounts of rare, pricey, possibly endangered foodstuffs, I say to mys...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 10:27:00 PST

Letters to Celebrities 3

Dear Vince McMahon: Hi Vince, how are you?  So sorry to hear about D-Generation X painting their logo on your private jet.  Boys will be boys, I suppose.  Do you know if they used an oi...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 05:07:00 PST

Letters to Celebrities 2

Dear Chamillionaire: Hey buddy, how ya doing?  Yes, I know we're not really buddies, but I just don't know how many times I can bear to type your chosen name.  Is Hakeem Seriki rea...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 10:37:00 PST

Letters to Celebrities

Dear Kiefer Sutherland:  Hi Kiefer!  I know you were recently featured on the cover of Chill magazine - the complimentary monthly available at all participating Ontario beer stores- an...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 09:51:00 PST

Watermelon fan? DON'T BE FOOLED!

Christmas time is here! Okay, maybe not.  But Santa Claus is - in fruit form! Yes, I've recently discovered the Santa Claus melon, and dismissed all others. Cantaloupe? You can go to hell. Go to ...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Sun, 20 Aug 2006 02:47:00 PST

"Wherefor art thou, Gobbledick?" - or "Hip to Spunk"

So, recently I was driving from Toronto to Ottawa, and as I was passing through a small town called Bowmanville, I passed a curious sign.  It read "Cobbledick Rd.". Now, my question is: how lazy ...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 01:35:00 PST

Fringe by the numbers

I'm just wrapping up a run at the Ottawa Fringe Fest with the Skinny Jo production of Forbitten Paradise. Alot of people have been asking me what goes into a fringe show, so here's a breakdown of wha...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Sat, 24 Jun 2006 06:07:00 PST

Why I love this country...

...yesterday I turn on CNN, and all I see is: North Korea's got the nuke, suicides at Guantanamo, rapist on the loose, war, death, hatred, intolerence, etc. Then I pick up a copy of the Ottawa Citize...
Posted by Graham Borgfjord on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 08:55:00 PST