I am Fagula, the Gay Vampire. I answer the question: is it Gay or Straight? I can help you through the gray areas of life. Feel free to email your questions to [email protected] and I will tell you if it is Gay or Straight.
I was born in Transylvania, Romania in the year 1431 and attended Transylvania State University. I graduated Cum Laude with a degree in Journalism, and a minor in Psychology. I wrote for our local "Piggyback Shopper" until earlier this year, where my column "Ask Fagula" ran for more than 500 years. I helped people all over eastern Europe decide whether events in their lives were gay or straight. Few things in life are black and white, and human sexuality is no exception. If you are wondering whether something happened that was gay, just email me at [email protected] and I'll help you through the gray areas.
Here are some examples:
Dear Fagula,
I am a 22 year old male, and I was watching porn with my male roommate, and he started touching me. My eyes never left the television. He also touched himself, and we both finished. We never spoke of it again. Is that gay?
Wondering in Oregon
Dear Wondering,
That is a tough one for Fagula to answer...if you were watching Lesbian porn, then it cancels out the gay...if it was straight porn however, that is just one penis to many, and then its Gay.
Glad I could help,
--Fagula
Dear Fagula,
I just bought new sheets for my bed. The package said they are "Robin's Egg Blue" but I say its medium blue. Is that gay?
Lying in my bed of lies
Dear lying,
It all depends on the thread count. Anything over 250 is gay. Check the label.
Yours,
Fagula
Dear Fagula,
I was masturbating to Jaime Lee Curtis in True Lies. I later found out she is a hermaphrodite. Is that gay?
Turned off in Toledo
Dear Turned Off,
Since hermaphrodites have such small penises, then it is not gay. However, since she has short hair, you should imagine her with a long wig, just in case. Then, J-out to your hearts delight.
--Fagula..
