Lois

I'm a three year old female mixed tabby. Torn away from my family when I was six weeks old. I hardly remember my mother. But I remember her titty milk...mmmm. Some bastard named me Lois because his father used to give him advice about women using "Lois" as a hypothetical name for the ladies. My owner informed his father that Lois was no longer a common name and that most have probably died off. Thinking that was funny steve named me for that. The fucker. I live in a place that these crackers call "the shaw". Shawshank redemption's more like it. One day I'm gonna bust out of here and shit on solid ground. I spend most of the time alone...which is ok since cats aren't dependent but damn if I don't look forward sometimes to when the boys get home and play with my over ripe teets. I like cat food, thurkey, standing on tables blocking the view to the TV. TV? What's the big deal? I like eating plastic, chasing dogs, making Joel sneeze and shitting on the ground outside my litter box. Sure is funny watching the boys touch my shit. But it's ok because I save them all by attacking inanimate objects thinking they are a threat. Sometimes I think I'm just plan nuts but then I'll calm down and toss my salad and everything is just fine. MEOW.