Bumcakes

I'd like to meet:

His name is Willycakes.
He's a right HUNKY beef.

As you may know... he's also a very nice chap

Infact, he's a smashing fella.
He came round my house today, and he said:

"Babe... i been following you around for two years... and i finally worked up the courage to speak to you"

And i said "Shit son... really?"

And he gazed lovingly into my eyes and said:

"Can i snog your face off?"

Then, suddenly, before i knew it... he was giving me a bloody great big tongue twister.

Then he went: "Bloody 'ell darlin' you're a right brilliant smoocher"

Stunned by this, I had to tell him the truth:

"Well i'm naturally amazing" I replied.

He gazed into my eyes again, this time for longer, and then finally he said to me:

"Babe, I want you to be my hoe"

I gasped and then i shouted:
"COR BLIMEY! THIS IS BLOODY MENTAL!"
Because it was bloody mental.

And he whisked me off my feet with his muscular arms and said:

"You're the only dirty little slut for me"

And now I am in love.
Forever.

The End.

Music:

Pete Doherty

Nick Drake

Bad Manners

Elvis

Joe strummer

Conor Oberst

Jarvis Cocker

Bedouin Soundclash

Cock Sparrer

Jim Morrison

Sparklehorse

Michael Pitt

Poison

Movies:

Television:

Books:

The dice man, Lovely Bones, The little friend, Wuthering heights, pride and prejudice, The mist in the mirror, Lord of the flies, The naked civil servant, The great persuit, The woman in white, Fear and loathing in las vegas, Birdsong.....yeah i love books, im a geek. Cheers.

Heroes:

"Real men cry"
Jeremy Kyle is my rock