Alex K profile picture

Alex K

Scientists not Scientologists.

About Me

I am a comedian.
A Recent set at the Laugh Resort
I have my own little myspace on the "internet." My little virtual house in the Hamptons. More like a run down apartment complex, run by a neglectful super.
The rent is really cheap and chances are I'm really close to the seedy part of town. My neighbour is a recluse, there is a depressed clown living on the floor above me, and two co-eds down the hall doing gosh-darn who knows what with the webcams they bought. Something putting them through college no doubt.
But I like this sleazy getaway...I'm leaving comments on peoples doors like "take out your trash!" or I think your really hot, but please you are having sex way to loudly up there." Or, "you are really really hot, you are having sex way to quitely. Please correct at once." I'm currently renovating my virtual apartment, feel free to drop a note and say hi.
Bring pie if you can.
Visit my website www.ALEXK.ca I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4
Check out one of the funniest clips from Duckman, starting at the 3:56 second mark and involves Ice T as a character named Tonzie, who is giving every white honky 30 days to commit suicide. I love how they set up the Airhorn hawkers a few seconds before. Brilliant! .. width="425" height="350" ..

My Interests

Movies, comedy, improv, poetry, writing communist manifestos

I'd like to meet:

Han Solo. And that Swedish Bikini Team from the 1980's you know, to see what they are up to these days.

Music:

Arcade Fire, Radiohead, 80's music, Death Cab for Cutie, Animal Collective, Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah!, Elvis Presley, The Smiths, 50's and 60's music, TV Theme Music.

Movies:

, Memento, Usual Suspects, Boondock Saints, Good Will Hunting, Mulholland Drive, Braveheart, The Professional, Zoolander, Royal Tenenbaums, Labyrinth, Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back, Adventures in Babysitting, Back to the Future, Spy Game, Sneakers, Goonies, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, Adaptation, The Princess Bride

Books:

(yeah I read in the bathroom, it's the best place)

My Blog

I wont pretend - draft 1

"I am feeling rough, I am feeling raw in the prime of my life..." - MGMT (Time to Pretend)I am standing, I am livingI am dying alonePick up the receiver and let's justtalk o...
Posted by Alex K on Mon, 19 May 2008 12:19:00 PST

Railroaded

My head, my headLike a blasting capA road to clear throughand empty the thoughtsits residency has rotted away the insidesNow clear the debrisand rebuild
Posted by Alex K on Mon, 19 May 2008 12:11:00 PST

after midnight

proper lockslock properlyblocks fathers knocksbelts, bruises, broken bottles balkunabashedly a body blocksa wooden frame a child's roomthe boy gently rockshis whispered voice recites linesof a Shephar...
Posted by Alex K on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 07:55:00 PST

On being dumped over dinner draft 1

Tasted your crueltyits bitter pill swallowed wholeover a meal of affectionthe last supper never tasted so sweet.
Posted by Alex K on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 10:08:00 PST

Jerusalem Market

the crowd is plentifulthis friday afternoon.the last moments of the week creeping down to a halt.the buzzing market of elder Jewish men and brash Arab boys barkingpulling pedestrians to their peachesG...
Posted by Alex K on Sat, 23 Jun 2007 10:07:00 PST

I Nearly Do - draft 1

The double windsor knot tiewhose silk noose surrounds mea perfect triangle around my neck.
Posted by Alex K on Mon, 28 May 2007 09:59:00 PST

Garbage

I'm about to write a reallyshitty poem keep reading and you'll see. Nothing will rhymeno alliteration, allusion or assonance. None. Nor consonance, nor iambic pentameter.Who the hell understands that...
Posted by Alex K on Sat, 19 May 2007 10:41:00 PST

Lucky Charms

I don't want to know what it is doing to my bodyBut you have no idea what it does to my mind. Whole grain oats and marshmellow bits.The creation of which has sugar. Modified corn starch and corn syrup...
Posted by Alex K on Wed, 16 May 2007 01:06:00 PST

in memoria

We will all get old and olderholding sweets in our pocketsor tissues in the cup of our wrinkled handcovering the uncontrollable fits of coughingthe hocking and wheezing of a failing machinein need of ...
Posted by Alex K on Sun, 06 May 2007 03:29:00 PST

Predictable - draft 1

You know where I'm goingwith this. And yet you still listento every word I exhale from my body.As if to exhaust myself with its meaning.It is in your patience that I findso amusing. For the most part...
Posted by Alex K on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 07:54:00 PST