Shaftsquatch - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hot scandals and love handles,karaoke, assassinating egos, playin rock n roll, from Iowa. that should answer a lot of your questions right there.

My Interests

Figuring out how I managed to get crop circles in my chest hair.

I'd like to meet:

Someone from Outer Mongolia. Does that place still exist? Fuck it. A pirate would be fine. Oh,and this lady right here.

Music:

Movies:

Garden State/the Dancin' Outlaw/Wesley Willis: the Daddy of Rock 'n Roll/ Godfather II/Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/House of 1,000 Corpses/Napoleon Dynamite/Big Lebowski/Pulp Fiction/Kill Bill 1&2/ /Amelie/Run Lola Run/Man Bites Dog/Fletch/Spaceballs/Balzing Saddles/Young Frankenstein/American Movie/Igby Goes Down/Y Tu Mama Tambien/2,000 Maniacs/MST3K/the Day the Earth Stood Still/Last Action Hero/Rain Man/Fear and Loathing/Pirates of the Carribian/Muppet movies/Pastor Gas/Hellboy/Bubba Ho-tep/Pink Panther/Moulin Rouge/Casablanca/Princess Bride/Bedknobs and Broomsticks/Flight of the Navigator/South Park/Trekkies/Star Trek/the Abominable Doctor Phibes/Indiana Jones/Almost Famous/Dead Poets Societ/Donnie Darko/Boondock Saints/Haggard/Punisher/Life As A House

Television:

the Sopranos/the Daily Show/Chapelles Show/Uranium/Dennis Miller Live/Mr. Show/Tenacious D/24/CSI/Rock n Roll Jeopardy/Jeopardy/ MXE/the news/Gummybears/Loony Toons/Muppet Babies/Duck Tales/Ninja Turtles/Simpsons/old ass Headbangers Ball/SNL (especially Norm Mc Donald era)/Conan/A-Team/Perfect Strangers/Comedy Central Presents/Stella

Books:

The Alchemist, Veronika Decides to Die, House of Leaves, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, puck, Bible, the Shining, Brain Droppings, Rock This, The Dirt: A Motley Crue Autobiography. It. Different Seasons. 'Salems Lot. The Golden freaking Compass. Farenheit 451. Cash (by Johnny Cash). the Redneck Manifesto. Love Poems (by John Donne). the Sacred Romance. Something Wicked This Way Comes. You Are Worthless. The Rants etc...by Dennis Miller.

Heroes:

Jesco White/Samwise Gamgee/ Puck/ Ron Goldmem/ Lyra Silvertongue/ Clarisse/ Andre 3 pennies/ Dimebag/ Johnny Cash/

My Blog

Gross

So I have allergies. Which got me thinking. And I wish it hadn't. Here's why. The pollen count in Atlanta is nearly 6000. That means the trees are jacking off like drunk monkeys, and we, like a hussy ...
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 05:27:00 PST

To Think Of You Is To Treasure An Absent Memory

"To Think Of You Is to Treasure An Absent Memory" by Zao When you shut your eyes and fell asleep Dark clouds descended on the souls of the ones Who held you close to their hearts Close to their hearts...
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 01:52:00 PST

Ummm...

So apparently there are like 1000 videos under my videos section. I don't know how they got there or how to get rid of them. Whlile some of them are pretty funny, most of them I do NOT want on my page...
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 03:11:00 PST

Bowin' out

Hey y'all. I am no longer playing bass for the Luchagors. For one thing, I ain't a bass player. And with the recording sessions coming up we decided that it would probably be a good idea to get someon...
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 10:28:00 PST

Papa's Got A Brand New Bag...A Body Bag

Ahh James Brown. We gonna miss yer no sense makin, unintelligable ass. You never ceased to entertain us....
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:24:00 PST

Lucky bastard

This is an adendum to the blog from the other night.I would just like to personally thank my friend Erin for not only taking me to the hospital, but paying the deposit, and sitting with me for the nex...
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Sun, 17 Dec 2006 04:15:00 PST

Baby baby baby baby, Do you wanna live forever? Ow!

My favorite band of all time has a myspace page! That's right kiddos. It's the mighty Gargantua! Add them, love them. Do as you're told!
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 03:38:00 PST

Oh man I feel like smashed ass

So, I woke up on tuesday around noon. Felt fine for about an hour, then just started throwing up out of both ends the rest of the afternoon. Perfect, especially considering we have to play a show that...
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 01:01:00 PST

You know what time it is?

TENACIOUS D TIME, YA MUTHAFUCKA GO! Yep, me n Rhonda saw that shit last night. We are probably better than you.Poundin O.J. and hocking loogies in beer cups = Rockin off yo muthafuckin socks! Take tha...
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Wed, 06 Dec 2006 03:57:00 PST

In a world, things, and you!

Hey everyone. Just wanted to wish everyone a day. I like stuff. For instance. Raspberry flavored hot chocolate with whip cream. Playing in piles of leaves. holding babies. food fights. karaoke. rock n...
Posted by Shaftsquatch on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 01:04:00 PST