Garrett Staab profile picture

Garrett Staab

This shit’s to fuckin good to be arrogant.

About Me

Ok so i figured i would finally do this as complete as possible. I'm a comedian, its my first and foremost hobby i know one day this is how i will make my living, I love hearing from people even if it is hate mail atleast your outgoing, maybe a dick, but outgoing. I like to talk to people really no matter what the topic of conversation is, but for fucksake don't ask/tell me to tell you a joke, it's about as cool as AID's. Not to mention a joke is completly different then being a stand-up comic and if you want proof ask the asshole next to you to tell you a joke and then go watch a real comic and im sure you will see the difference, I'm sorry i'm a bit of a dick i just tend to call it like i see it. On the other hand i am a really nice, outgoing dude i love to meet new people and have sex with them that instant :) ok maybe the second date...you know what im talking about. I'm fairly inteligent and i feel i have atleast once piece of advice for EVERYONE yes everyone, there is something for all, trust me. My friends kinda think im a creep, b/c of my ill manered humor, and let me tell you there is a reason i say outrageous shit, it's because i never act on any type of fucked up action so i tend to think differently, say it, and go for a giggle.I do have a shit ton of "Friends" on this page i assure im not that popular and not conceited, im here to network and maybe meet a few cool people on the way, so before you decide to waste your time putting up a comment about the quantity, take into effect Business. However i also believe that you can never have too many friends, its always good to have some sor tof outlet.I'm a strong believe in the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have done to you. If everyone goes by that the world would be a much better place and i would have a rougher sex life lol.Currently im going to school at Pima/U of A for Communications, there are a ton of interesting things out there and i believe this would be the best way to experience a wide array of fields. I have A LOT of goals in my life and here shortly i will be taking this thing they call "Life" seriously and try to achieve some of these goals.I'm single, but i pull out. Does that count?
Create your own Friend Quiz here..

My Interests

Art (performing, painting, drawing, but i really dislike sculpting with clay i hate the feeling on your hands!) Sports really anything competative. Alaskan Ice fishing... if you havnt done it than may the lord have pitty on your soul. Learning something new and intereting is an interest or else it wouldnt be an interest. Meeting new people, trying new things. Relaxing. Naps. lame ass video games a good time passer. Your results:
You are The Joker The Joker 70% Magneto 62% Dr. Doom 60% Apocalypse 58% Riddler 58% Lex Luthor 57% Venom 53% Two-Face 50% Catwoman 49% Juggernaut 46% Kingpin 44% Dark Phoenix 40% Mr. Freeze 39% Green Goblin 38% Mystique 22% Poison Ivy 19% The Clown Prince of Crime. You are a brilliant mastermind but are criminally insane. You love to joke around while accomplishing the task at hand.
Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Garrett
Birthday: 10-28-85
Birthplace: Sierra Vista
Current Location: Tucson, Az
Eye Color: brown/green
Hair Color: Black
Height: 5'11
Right Handed or Left Handed: im boff handed mo fucca!
Your Heritage: Sicilian, and German
The Shoes You Wore Today: lol flip flops, i will not say sandals, chicks wear sandals
Your Weakness: in a girl? or what makes me a weaker person? anywho the answer to the firs one is:petite, dark skinned, cute girls. The ladder part of the question is: Jealousy, im a lil to over-protective.
Your Fears: Meaningless end's, sharp obejects close to my eyes.
Your Perfect Pizza: Mushroom, olives, sausage....BOMB, also the bbq chicken pizza is spetacular. if you dont believe me, try it fucko!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: A girl friend would be nice, but now that its typed might not happen lol whatever just let it come. I would realy love to be an opening act before the year is up for my comedy, thats my big goal.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: JFC, lawl, and gotcha.
Thoughts First Waking Up: How the hell do i build a ship in a bottle???
Your Best Physical Feature: used to be my stomach, now i would my left bicep.
Your Bedtime: when i look at the clock and see how many hours of sleep i need, and how many i can get. the math comes into play, also when im like FUCK! im tired.
Your Most Missed Memory: All of highschool, sure there was drama, but fuck it was fun as hell not having to worry about anything.
Pepsi or Coke: neither
MacDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds.
Single or Group Dates: lol well i have hardly been on either, but i know single dates usually end bad for me, im gonna say grp dates would be best lol.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: i like the swirl bitch.
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee
Do you Smoke: weed, occasionally.
Do you Swear: entirely to much.
Do you Sing: Hell ya i sing....when no ones around.
Do you Shower Daily: yessum
Have you Been in Love: can't really tell ya if i have of not. maybe.
Do you want to go to College: currently attending.
Do you want to get Married: someday
Do you belive in yourself: Im one of the few that do, yes.
Do you get Motion Sickness: nope
Do you think you are Attractive: id say a+ dude, with a C+ face= B im about average, with a shinning personality.
Are you a Health Freak: not anymore, but damn i need to be.
Do you get along with your Parents: for the most part.
Do you like Thunderstorms: I love them damn things.
Do you play an Instrument: Yes.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes.
In the past month have you Smoked: not cigerattes, errr if thats how you spell em.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: just a lil weed. nothing bad.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: nope.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: nope.
In the past month have you been on Stage: numerous times
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: yes.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: nope.
Ever been Drunk: YES!
Ever been called a Tease: lol thats still a personal goal im trying to achieve.
Ever been Beaten up: nope.
Ever Shoplifted: yes.
How do you want to Die: Drowning while on fire. or choke on a twinky.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: My dream, or a stunt cock may not know what that is, but check it out....you'll laugh.
What country would you most like to Visit: Italy.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue or Brown.
Favourite Hair Color: really blond or dark hair, just make sure you take care of that shit. no one likes unhealthy hair.errr yea.
Short or Long Hair: either.
Height: 5'4 and below is great, but anythign as long as she is shorter than me.
Weight: in proportion, petite is great, not fat is a plus.
Best Clothing Style: im extreme i like preppy girls, and i like punker chicks.
Number of Drugs I have taken: weed is all i have done, and thats hardly a drug.
Number of CDs I own: too many and really who gives a shit.
Number of Piercings: 1
Number of Tattoos: 3
Number of things in my Past I Regret: ahh theres a few, i cant belike the rest of ya cool ass people and say "nothing, i accept everything i have, i dont regret anything" i have sucked at a few things in life, but fuck it im over it.

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

I'd like to meet:

Greg Berhendt, Dane Cook, Joe Rogan, Mike Epps, Craig Schomaker, ELISHA CUTHBERT!! Michealangelo, Johnny Cash, and the love of my life would be nice.

Music:

-Acceptance -AFI -Alexisonfire -Bayside -Blink 182 -Beloved -Boys Night Out -CKY-Coheed and Cambria -Dashboard Confessional -Funeral For a Friend -Garth Brooks -George Strait -Hawthorne Heights -HIM -Journey -kanye west -Matchbook Romance -My Chemical Romance -Rascal Flats -Senses Fail -Sileverstein -The Bled -Toby Keith -Underoath -All 80's Music!!! -All Country! -Some rap -alot of everything.

Movies:

top gun, godfather, casino, goonies, breakfest club, goodfellas, super troopers, mindhunters, predator, Harry Cooter and the Sorcerers Bone(great porno haha) all that good shit.

Television:

FAMILY GUY!!! King of Queens The Boondocks South Park Full House..Duh! Saved by the Bell Mad TV SNL THE SCIENCE CHANNEL, give it try you'll love it. I really dont watch too much tv though maybe 3 hours a week at most. usually my Cowboys or some good sporting event.

Books:

Ender Books, Hidden Face of God, The Science of God, Shakespeare, Anything with lessons good lessons, life lessons not school lessons!

Heroes:

Joey D!!!

My Blog

Really?

Life is good. You have some extra money in the bank, you have a clear cut goal in every aspect of your life professionally, emotionally, and personally. You are pretty much a shoe in for a few jobs, s...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:57:00 PST

Everyone is fuckin nutz, and im done.

Last night Me, my father, brother, and 2 brother in laws went out for my brother-in-laws birthday. Just the guys no girls, we were going bar hopin need i remind you this bulletin s taking forever b/c ...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 08:48:00 PST

Games. Women. like lamb and tunafish!

Ok usually i hate this shit called "blogging" for the most part unless you idolize someone or are worried about them then you really shouldn't be reading these things. I think they are more or less ju...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Wed, 16 May 2007 01:27:00 PST

HATERS? HATE MAIL? READ THIS!

If your some lame asshole trying dis on what im doing then FUCK YOU, i've heard it all, there is just one thing I DONT CARE, i have really never cared. There are few things i do care about and those n...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Sat, 03 Mar 2007 04:36:00 PST

Sinful Showcase 1; the beginings and popping cherries....LOVE IT!

http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank">..http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k232/Bleedon/SinfulShowc ase4.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"> Exactly one year ago lastweek, i...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 01:38:00 PST

All my REAL friends!

Hey ALL! Sorry i have been trying to plug the gay myspace thing all the time, but im doing it for a reason. My close friends know what it is. For those who dont let me explain. Take a seconds and read...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Fri, 22 Sep 2006 01:10:00 PST

soliliquey of the Unknown cock!

Dream girl, Dream girl where thee?? I want a chick that will hold my dick when i pee. That will shave my back. Lick my sack. And never call me a lazy hack. That will put up with my shit. Who's not aff...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Tue, 01 Aug 2006 10:20:00 PST

Click.......

Click...... A new movie with Adam Sandler and an all-star cast. Pretty goddamned funny. Now what the fuck is the deal with an Adam Sandler movie bringing a teer to my fucking eye, have i really gotten...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Tue, 04 Jul 2006 12:58:00 PST

Appliances > privates

So it had been sometime since i took care of my Italian genes (UNBELIEVABLY HAIRY) last time i took up a razor was the memorial day vacation in Mexico. I had to impress the chicas with a baby smooth a...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 01:05:00 PST

Is is to much to ask???

My dear friend Phil Provencio and I had a very chill night and king tut's(hookah lounge) We had some rather interesting conversations tonite. I realized when i was hanging out with another friend of m...
Posted by Garrett Staab on Thu, 02 Mar 2006 01:16:00 PST